


dito ka na lang (habambuhay)

by jaehwaniee



Series: ISKO NCT [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drinking, Drinking Games, Fluff, Frustrating Misunderstandings, Lots of it, M/M, Slow Burn of a Fast-Paced Love Story, Some angst, filo nct, isko nct, up baguio
Language: Filipino
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:15:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 33,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25080745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaehwaniee/pseuds/jaehwaniee
Summary: jeno is probably the most unromantic person you can ever meet. but when he finds the best strawberry in baguio, everything just turns a 180 degrees.or;journ student jeno applies for a midyear in baguio, and he meets comm student renjun with his strawberry hair.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Na Jaemin
Series: ISKO NCT [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1816438
Comments: 38
Kudos: 31





	1. Strawberry...?

**Author's Note:**

> pinaka-una kong nct filo fic! sana magustuhan niyo :))
> 
> this is very self-indulgent kasi as an isko, i think up baguio is a perfect place for noren to flirt haha

Hindi naman sa _walang_ pakialam si Jeno sa kahit anong related sa pag-ibig. He’s just not really into the idea of _chasing_ it so much to the point na people get too engrossed and believe na when you do not have anyone, lonely ka.

It probably started with that _hugot culture_ na biglang nag-appear out of nowhere, or it was already there at in-amplify lang ng social media. Na-engrave tuloy ito sa culture ng Filipino Generation Z kung saan siya kabilang.

Sobrang tinatangkilik pa naman ng most Filipinos ang anything about love, seeing as to how every television content is predominantly about love; romantic man o familial. Ang hilig din kasi ng producers and directors na mang-arouse ng heartstrings through appeal to emotions ng probably every Filipino household, from Lola to Bunso.

Dahil dito, the Philippine entertainment industry saw the surge of support for the genre of love. It probably even rose higher noong ipinalabas noong 1996 ang Filipino-dubbed version ng Mexican Telenovela na Marimar sa RPN Channel 9 na pinanood ng marami, na tinalo pa ang counterpart nito sa ABS-CBN sa ratings every episode. Sa laki ng reach nito at sa results from every household in the Philippines, it became a part sa pagshape ng landscape ng entertainment industry sa bansa. Sabi pa nga ng mama niya, pinaglihi niya raw siya kay Sergio. _Jusko._

In retrospect, halos romantic love palagi ang genre ng movies na hindi pa rin nakakalimutan hanggang ngayon. Kaya sumikat nang sobra ang love teams sa Pilipinas e.

Sobrang pinakilig pa naman ng Jolina-Marvin tandem ang halos buong Pilipinas dahil sa _Labs Kita… Okay Lang?_ Pinaiyak din nina Bea at John Lloyd ang Pilipinas sa _One More Chance_ dahil sa magaling na portrayal ni John Lloyd sa character ni Popoy. And what probably accelerated or jumpstarted the love of Filipinos to the _hugot culture_ ay dahil sa _That Thing Called Tadhana_ nina Angelica Panganiban at JM De Guzman, at dahil na rin marami ang naka-relate sa heartbreak ni Mace.

It also helped na sobrang successful ng love teams ngayon, as a pair man or individually, although what really helped in growing their large fan bases ay dahil sa tandem nila. Kagaya ng KathNiel, JaDine, at LizQuen. Fun fact, directors had to change the actual story of _The Princess And I_ na dapat ay Kathryn-Enrique e ginawang Kathryn-Daniel dahil sa feedback ng fans, na mas kinikilig sa chemistry ng KathNiel. Afterwards, sunod-sunod na ang projects nilang dalawa. They know just the right amount of _kilig_ to give their fans. Partneran na rin ng hugot and they saw a big rise in their popularity.

Tapos ayon, akala mo nasaktan na halos lahat ng teenagers kung makapag-hugot left and right. _Kasalanan mo ‘to, Angelica Panganiban! Bakit ka kasi nasaktan nang ganyan?!_

Love sick teens, or pre-teens, kind of made high school so unbearable for this love-indifferent teenager. Especially at nag-senior high siya sa University of Santo Tomas under the Humanities and Social Sciences strand, where people just can’t shut up for a second. Everything must have a _hugot_ , and even teachers do it. Especially kapag kaklase mo si Jaemin.

Don’t get him wrong, love niya naman si Jaemin, pero ang taxing lang kasing makipag-usap sa kanya most of the time.

Napaisip tuloy si Jeno, _kung gan’to pala ang environment ko, why am I so indifferent with this?_

Siguro it’s because hindi naman siya nagkulang sa love department dahil sa family niya. His mom and dad have been married for a long time now pero hindi pa rin sila nagkukulang ng affection for each other, and begrudgingly, for them. They never stopped having their dates na strictly them lang kasi kapag kasama silang magkapatid, it’s considered a family date. Nirereklamo ito ni Jeno when he was still little kasi sometimes, his kuya would lock himself up in his room doing god-knows-what (re: studying), and their parents would go out to date kaya ang labas, maiiwan siya apart from their house helpers.

Siguro rin it’s because he grew up with a brother who has always been serious and studious, pero lax in terms of anything about pop culture, at most. If you ask him about his favorite movie, baka isagot niya e from 1980s pa, which is far from bad naman pero it just mirrors how he could care less about hugot culture or anything _up-to-date_. Pero he knows and feels na his kuya would put his life on the line for him, seeing as to how he always takes the fall kapag may ginawa siyang labag sa _house rules_ nila.

Then one would ask, _don’t you want something similar?_

Jeno would answer, _of course._ _Who wouldn’t want that naman, ‘di ba?_

It’s only that Jeno despises the idea of chasing for that _someone_ na people lose themselves na rin. It’s definitely a reach, if you ask him. He has seen people break their own hearts because of that. He does not want that for himself. Although it’s inevitable naman daw, pero he wants it to come to him na lang, not him to it.

Pero wala naman siyang pakialam talaga. Kasi _you do you_ , _it’s just not for me lang kasi._

Ay sorry, ginagawa niya lang kasi as of now ang final paper niya for Soc Sci 1 at napili niyang topic ang Hugot Culture na nagiging prevalent in their generation at paano nito naaapektuhan ang behavior at ideology nila. He just feels na ito ang best topic niya for a final paper kasi marami siyang thoughts about it. At kakasend niya lang rin ngayon.

_Okay, that’s the last req for this sem! Hell yeah!_

“Jeno, anong balak mo this summer?” tanong ni Jaemin. Sadly, kasama niya pa rin sa UP Diliman kahit naging kaklase na niya sa UST SHS for two years. Pareho silang nakapasa sa first choice, first campus nila, kahit medyo mahirap paniwalaan. Journ student si Jeno ngayon at Broad Comm naman si Jaemin sa College of Mass Communication, very media kids.

“’Di ba mag-mi-midyear tayo sa Baguio?”

“Ay oo. Akala ko hindi ka tutuloy.” Nasa condo ni Jeno silang dalawa ngayon. Jaemin is sprawled sa kama at hinuhugasan ni Jeno ang pinagkainan nila.

Noong nag-aapply pa lang sila ng UPCAT, plinano na nilang dalawa na mag-explore sa other UP units through taking their midyear there, kahit ‘di pa naman sila nakapasa. Pwede kasi siya basta ang units na kukunin ay may equivalent sa UP campus kung saan talaga nag-aaral.

Nalaman nila ito from Kuya Doyoung, kapatid ni Jeno na graduate na ngayon ng Molecular Biology and Biotechnology, with Latin honors, and currently taking his master’s degree. Katakot. He says na it’s great to take the opportunity to explore other UP units habang nag-aaral pa rin para hindi sayang yung time. Nakapag-explore na, magiging advanced pa sa units. Para focus sa thesis or other majors at matapos na ang GEs agad.

“Ano’ng hindi. Wait, ikaw ba?” Umupo si Jeno sa upuan ng study table niyo habang binubuksan ang Macbook niyang regalo pa ng kuya niya dahil nakapasok siya sa alma mater niya, hindi dahil naggraduate na siya. ‘Di niya sure, basta may latest Macbook, okay na ‘yon.

“Gaga, siyempre sasama ako. Vinerify ko lang.” Umupo rin siya sa kama. “Kailan ba tayo mageenroll?”

“Wait, chinecheck ko sa site.”

“Oks.”

Alas dos nang bulabugin ni Jaemin si Jeno by suddenly appearing on his doorstep. Hindi naman siya rare occurrence kasi palagi namang nasa condo ni Jaemin si Jeno pero this time e hindi siya nagtext man lang. Paano kapag _alam mo na_? Pero buti na lang hindi naman.

Tapos na nilang dalawa ang second sem nila after stressing so much dahil sa final exams at papers, sobrang hirap pa naman dahil mostly Gen Ed courses pa lang kasi first year pa lang sila. Medyo mahirap ding makihalubilo sa mga kaklase nila dahil medyo intimidated pa sila. Most of the people they encounter pa naman e sobrang talino, at kino-consider lang nilang dalawang above average lang sila, not really that explosive kind of smart. Si Kuya Doyoung ang ganon.

Sumandal si Jaemin sa headboard ng kama at nagscroll sa kanyang Facebook feed habang si Jeno ay nagsesearch ng gagawin. Mas malamig at mas malawak kasi ang condo ni Jeno kaysa sa kanya kaya dito sila palaging tumatambay. It helps pang mas malapit sa mga kainan kaya very convenient. And walang masyadong magagamit na kuryente sa dorm niya, though si Kuya Jungwoo naman ang nagbabayad. Mas mabilis din ang wifi.

“May titirhan ka na ba doon, if ever?” tanong ni Jaemin. “Two months din ‘yon, no?”

Habang nag-i-scroll pa rin sa site ng UP Baguio, sumagot si Jeno. “Hindi pa sure. Pero may kakilala si Dad sa may Engineer’s Hill na sobrang lapit lang daw sa UPB kaya doon siguro. Doon din ata si Kuya dati e. ‘Kaw ba?”

“Uy wala pa.” Jaemin drags that last syllable and pouts. “Sama ako sayo, please. Tell me how much na lang.”

“Oks.” Tumango siya. “Ay ito na o.”

“Jeno, sa tingin mo ba maraming cute doon?” Nakahilata ulit ngayon si Jaemin sa kama habang nag-ge-game si Jeno sa desktop niyang malapit sa study table.

“Doon na-meet ni Kuya Doie si Kuya Jaehyun.”

“Omg! Oo nga, ‘no! Shet, ang pogi ni Kuya Jae!” nanisay sa kilig si Jaemin habang impit na tumitili. He reached for Jeno’s small pillows and threw one sa likod ni unassuming Jeno.

“Halla? Gago nagulat ako! Muntik nang namatay ‘tong character ko!”

“E kasi naman! Paano kapag doon ko na mami-meet ang _the one_ ko? O kung hindi ‘yon, basta poging kalandian with no strings attached? Shet!” Binato ulit ni Jaemin si Jeno ng mas malaking unan, which definitely results to Jeno losing the game.

“Hoy, gago! Patay na.” binitawan na ni Jeno.

Alam niyang hindi na siya makakalaro in peace. Nag-start nang mag-undergo si Jaemin sa _love-induced_ episode niya. Jeno sighs. So much for a good night of non-stop gaming dahil wala nang gagawing reqs.

“Isipin mo kasi, Jen. Since Baguio is a cold city, palaging cuddle weather doon! Shuta iniisip ko pa lang mej kinikilig na ako,” Jaemin reaches for Jeno’s shoulder at tuluyang niyugyog. Napairap na lang ang binata.

“Summer tayong pupunta, Jaem. Mainit,” ani Jeno.

Umirap si Jaemin.

“E Baguio ‘yon! I went there as a child tas ang lamig lamig pa rin! And just imagine the cute outfits na binila pa natin from Seoul last year just for this very reason? Hngg I’m so excited pota.”

“And if you meet _the one,_ ” sinamahan pa ni Jeno ng air quotation marks for emphasis, “e two months lang tayo doon. Ano’ng gagawin niyo kapag bumalik na tayo sa Diliman?”

“Ever heard of LDR?” Jaemin rolls his eyes. “And if it does not work out, what happens in Baguio, stays in Baguio!”

“What the hell. Jaem, we all know that you’re not gonna just forget. You’re like the most romantic person in this university. And mas marami nang majors next sem.”

“Napaka-OA. Two months lang naman. Sa tingin mo mahuhulog na ako nang sobra na hindi na maka-function? And ‘di ba nga ‘explore’ ang gagawin natin. Kasali na ‘yon!” Jaemin jumps papunta sa bed with a soft ‘oomph’.

Jeno just rolls his eyes.

“Ikaw ba, paano kapag lumapit na sa ‘yo ‘yong _the one_ like you always believe. Ano’ng gagawin mo?” Jaemin prods.

“Hindi ‘yan. Masyado pang maaga.”

“E paano nga, ‘di ba?”

Jeno hums for a while. “Bahala na.”

Napairap na lang ulit si Jaemin. Kahit kalian talaga sobrang snob about love. Pero sanay na siya.

Hinayaan na lang rin ni Jeno. It stays quiet but in a comfortable way.

“Let’s order take-out. What do you want? My treat,” Jeno stands to reach for the take out menus malapit sa ref.

“Yie thanks luv.” sinadya ni Jaemin sabihin ‘yong last word kasi alam niya naiinis si Jeno kapag sinasabi niya ‘yon.

“’Wag na pala.” Jeno jokingly says but still reaches for the telephone.

As they process the papers they need for their midyear, nagprepare na rin sila ng mga gamit na kakailanganin nila for their whole stay there.

Nakausap na rin nila ‘yong kakilala ng Dad ni Jeno. Sumaktong mag-i-stay rin ang buong pamilya ng friend ng Dad niya sa Japan for the whole bakasyon kaya they have the whole house to themselves, and for free basta huwag lang magsira ng gamit. Sobrang ikinasaya ito ni Jaemin.

“Nasearch ko na malapit lang daw sa Engineer’s Hill ‘yong bar district or something. Like literally walking distance daw.” Jaemin beams.

“Hoy mag-aaral tayo doon, hindi mag-iinom,” sawat ni Jeno agad.

“Napaka-OA mo talaga. Hanggang 6 units lang naman ‘yon kaya we’re not necessarily busy. Explore nga ‘di ba? At saka hindi naman palagi. Once in a while lang.”

Hinayaan na lang ni Jeno. Kung saan siya masaya.

Pinayagan sila ng parents nila kasi libre na rin naman ‘yong accommodation and at least kahit mag-eexplore sila e may ambag pa rin sa studies nila. ‘Yong magagastos rin naman nila sa Baguio e parehas din sa gagastusin nila sa Manila kasi palagi rin naman silang lumalabas.

They busied themselves packing their clothes na enough. Sabi rin na brings lots of jackets and pants kasi kahit medyo mainit e lalamig na kapag hapon and definitely at night.

And they’re set.

The first thing Jeno experiences habang on the way sa Baguio ay ‘yong tenga niyang sumara dahil sa high altitude. Kahit may airpods na ang all that e sumara pa rin. Napa-hum tuloy siya to feel his ears, slightly waking up Jaemin sa kabilang seat ng Sedan nila Jeno. He tries to yawn, ‘yon daw kasi ang best solution.

“Kuya, ilang oras pa tayo?” Tanong ni Jaemin kay Doyoung. Sasama siya for a few days kasi he’s going to meet Jaehyun who’s currently a faculty member sa Department of Biology. He applied as an instructor right after graduating. He’s also currently taking his master’s degree sa Diliman.

“More or less 30 minutes na lang. It’s good na nagising na kayo para makita niyo na rin yung surroundings.” tinignan niya ang dalawa sa may gitna. He’s seated sa may shotgun seat with the driver. “Wear your jackets na rin. I want to roll down the windows. Gotta love nature, right?”

Jaemin reaches for his jacket sa gitna nila ni Jeno. Nakajacket na si Jeno agad kaninang kakasakay pa lang nila.

The driver rolled down the windows and the cold breeze and the faint smell of pine trees immediately went inside the car, sending chills up Jeno’s spine. Medyo may smell din ng pollution but he did not pay mind.

The night time view of Baguio still looks majestic, kahit medyo rusty na ‘yong memory from when he last went there with his whole family. Medyo less trees nga lang, which is sad.

Yellow and white lights twinkle from a distance, creating a perfect mesh with the dark night and the fog. The faint light of the moon highlights the moving dark clouds. While they are at the hill, he can perfectly see the panoramic view of Baguio below.

Kakadaan lang nila sa tunnel, and the view already makes Jeno nostalgic, kahit hindi pa naman siya nagtatagal doon.

He can feel his heart break, kahit wala pa namang nangyayari. Baguio effect, perhaps?

He hears Jaemin take pictures. Lumapit na kasi sa kanya. Nasa window side niya yung magandang view.

“Ang ganda,” Jaemin whispers. “I can stare at it for hours. Wow.”

Jeno hums. Sobrang ganda nga talaga. It is a good cleanse from the usual Manila na punong puno ng toxic air. Pagpasok pa lang ng hangin e parang ayaw na niyang umalis. The cold air already imprinted itself against his face. He could really get used to this.

He can hear Doyoung talk to the driver, pero he tones it down kasi he still can’t take his eyes from the view. Bigla ring nagplay ang Munimuni sa AirPods niya. _This is the life._

As Clara Benin’s voice makes an entrance sa tenga niya, Jeno sees an influx of cars. They must be getting closer to the city proper. After zoning out for quite a while at nakatingin lang sa labas, he shifts his eyes to see Jaemin already huddled close to Doyoung, talking about something.

“… kakain na ba tayo?” Jeno hears Jaemin ask right after niyang tanggalin ‘yong right AirPod niya.

“Oo. We’re close. Daan tayong SM saglit kasi malapit lang siya sa Eng Hill.” Doyoung answers. “Madadaanan na rin nating ang UP Baguio.”

Lumapit ulit si Jaemin kay Jeno kasi sa side niya ulit makikita ang university.

“Ano ba, Jaem. Masyadong malapit. Personal space, please,” reklamo ni Jeno.

“Napaka-OA. E sabi ko kasi diyan ako pero ayaw mo. Suffer the consequences,” Jaemin rolls his eyes.

Hindi na nakasagot si Jeno kasi papalapit na sila.

“Oh ayan na.”

As their car comes close to the university, warmth starts to envelope his heart. The two marvel at the sight of another UP unit. It’s one of the smallest pero from the anecdotes of the students, and some who have visited na rin, it’s also the warmest. The coldest UP unit pero the people are the warmest daw.

“This one’s the Teatro Amianan. It’s got bizarre architecture pero it’s looks really good from the inside.” Doyoung says, his voice fond. Maybe he remembered a good memory from when he had his midyear there.

Habang speechless pa rin ang dalawa, the biggest statue of the Oblation comes into view.

“Siya daw pinakamalaki sa buong UP, ‘di ba?”

Hindi na nakinig si Jeno kasi he’s really mesmerized. Oble lit by two lights from below makes him look much taller. The green vines wrapped around the pedestal he stands proud on gives a vibe that Jeno can’t pinpoint. He looks really wonderful.

After some time, nakarating na sila sa basement ng SM Baguio. Lumabas na rin, preparing to eat from what restaurant catches their eyes first. Jaemin looks at himself from the window of the heavily tinted Sedan and fixes his shirt. Jeno does the same. Medyo unruly pa ang buhok niya from the short slumber sa byahe.

“Jen, andaming pogi, shuta.” Jaemin subtly pinches Jeno’s bicep. Naglalakad na sila ngayon paakyat at nangati agad si Jaemin.

“Tumigil ka nga. Kakarating pa lang, ‘yan na inaatupag mo.” Hinampas ni Jeno si Jaemin, this time unsubtly.

Umirap na lang si Jaemin.

Pero it’s true. Andaming pogi nga talaga. Baguio is somehow referred to as a transient city dahil maraming umaakyat na students to study there and when they get their degree e bababa na. Maraming good universities, kaya may influx rin ng students. Jeno also heard na UP Baguio is mostly filled by students na hindi taga-Cordillera. And that minority lang ang heterosexuals, but you did not hear that from him.

They decide to eat sa may Kenny Roger’s sa may new extension. Doyoung’s treat din daw.

Jaemin chose their seats. Pinili niya ‘yong seats sa may labas kasi it’s colder and mas maganda ang view. Always the romantic that he is.

While eating, Jeno cannot help but reminisce when they last went here with his family. He was still 12 or 13 years old.

It scares him how fast things change. This part of SM wasn’t built pa noon. Wala rin ‘yong Sky Ranch na amusement park sa tabi. Mga puno lang ang mga ito. It’s infuriating to think na they cut trees para lang sa mga ito. Although he’s being hypocritical kasi kumakain naman siya sa itinayo doon, it’s still a pity that the Baguio LGU let SM cut down these pine trees kasi it’s a prime symbol of Baguio. Capitalism.

“Jeno?” Doyoung prods. Ilang beses na rin niyang tinawag pero hindi sumagot.

Bumalik sa realidad si Jeno. “Kuya?”

“What are you thinking so hard about?” Tanong ni Doyoung. “I asked you kung gusto mong mag-shop muna.”

“Ah, no na,” Jeno answers, wiping his mouth with the napkin.

“No na rin, Kuya.”

“Okay.”

After they settle sa vacation house, nagpaalam na rin ‘yong driver na magpapa-Manila na kasi kailangan rin siya ng Dad nila. Doyoung even asked kung gusto niyang mag-rest saglit pero he can manage na daw.

Maga-Alas Onse na nang matapos silang mag-ayos ng mga gamit nila. The three are currently sprawled sa living room, on their phones kahit naka-open ang TV. Jeno is playing an online game and Jaemin is currently searching for “good place to visit in Baguio for teenagers.”

“Kuya Doie, nakapunta ka na ba sa Sky Ranch?” biglang tanong ni Jaemin.

“Uh, no. And don’t even plan on going,” Doyoung answers, eyes still on his phone.

“Huh? Bakit, kuya?” tanong pabalik ni Jaemin. Medyo na-curious din si Jeno.

“They proceeded to cut the pine trees kahit maraming nagprotest. So students are boycotting it. If you were able to see kanina, ang mura ng tickets nila. They’re going bankrupt, as they deserve.” Napa-smirk si Doyoung.

“Oh! Kaya pala I don’t see a lot of Instagram pics ng Sky Ranch Baguio.”

Jeno figured, actually.

“Why are you asking? Gusto niyo ba gumala bukas?” Jaemin perks at the word “gala.”

“Yes! Gala tayo bukas please,” Jaemin pouts. “Enrollment na sa isang araw.”

“Sure. I was gonna ask you rin. Lalabas rin dapat kami ni Jae bukas. Sama kayo.” Doyoung stands. “Wait, tawagan ko lang siya.”

“Shuta we’re gonna see Kuya Jae!” nanisaya sa kilig si Jaemin. “Sa tingin mo may pogi siyang kapatid?”

Jeno just throws a grimace. “Tumigil ka nga.”

“Gusto niyo bang mag-tour sa UPB muna?” Doyoung says habang pabalik sa upuan niya.

“I don’t think that’s necessary, Kuya.” Jeno answers. “Sa Lunes na lang when we enroll.”

“Okay. Dress casually. Pero bring a jacket or something. It’s gonna be hot in the afternoon but freezing at night, assuming na magagabihan tayo.”

“Oks.”

They wake up around 8:30 in the morning, Jeno being the last to prepare. Nagpuyat kasi sila ni Jaemin. Jeno was playing games until the wee hours of the morning. He even changed from his phone to his MacBook. Si Jaemin naman ay nagsusulat sa journal niya ng “Places to Visit,” which he vows to commit to.

Around 10 nang umalis na sila. Jeno wore a black oversized tee, a blue washed ripped jeans, and black sneakers he wore yesterday. Instead of using his graded contacts, he opted to wear his black horn-rimmed glasses, para medyo cool ang dating.

Jaemin was the exact opposite. He wore a red graphic t-shirt, white sweats, and white Vans. He was feeling bright today.

Suot naman ni Doyoung ay isang black polo shirt at blue skinny jeans. He placed his chain necklace sa may mismong kwelyo imbes na sa loob. Nakapag-lasik surgery na sila ni Johnny noong undergrads pa sila so he doesn’t use any eyewear anymore.

Makikipag-meet sila kay Jaehyun sa skating rink. Jaemin expressed how he feels like biking around Burnham kaya doon muna sila before they eat brunch.

Because it’s a Sunday at bakasyon, maraming pamilyang nakalapag sa green fields. The sun is particularly bright, as if sensing na maraming gustong lumabas ngayon. Although a hint of cold breeze passes by from time to time.

“Oh, ayan na si Jae. Jae!” Medyo nilakasan ni Doyoung ang boses niya. Jaehyun is standing near the entrance of the skating rink, hands on his side, at may kausap. Jeno thinks ka-age rin nila.

“Doie!” Jaehyun perks, visibly lighting up as he sees them. He meets them halfway, kasama rin ‘yong kausap niya.

Doyoung and Jaehyun share a hug that lasted too long, in Jeno’s opinion. Napairap na lang siya, although still endeared. Boyfriend ng Kuya niya e.

Biglang kinurot ni Jaemin si Jeno. Gulat, tumingin siya sa katabi, who is currently sporting a poker face, pero alam ni Jeno na kinikilig na. Tinignan niya rin kung saan nakatingin ang kaibigan. _Ay, may crush agad._

“Hello Kuya Jae!” Bati ni Jeno. Niyakap niya rin. Medyo close na sila. Dinala na kasi ni Doyoung si Jaehyun sa bahay nila when he was still in Grade 10. Nanliligaw pa siya noon. Ngayon, they’re happily together.

“Hi Jenjen! Konti na lang mas matangkad ka na sa’kin ha.” Jaehyun says. Humarap din siya kay Jaemin. “Hello, Jaemin! Ang tangkad mo na rin.”

“Hehe, hello kuya!” Arte.

Nag-usap pa ng slight si Jaehyun at Doyoung, leaving the three in an awkward air.

He takes the time to look at the other boy. Gwapo, Jeno affirms. He has a golden skin that is greatly complimented by his white polo and dyed brown hair. He was politely smiling, even his eyes are showing his smile. He looks nice. At matangkad. Definitely Jaemin’s type.

Jeno looks back at Jaemin. Naka-poker face pa rin and his fingers are pinching Jeno’s forearm pa rin. Medyo masakit na.

“Kuya Do, Kuya Jae. Do you want to introduce your friend?” And Jeno saves the day.

“Ah, sorry, sorry. I just missed Doie too much,” Jaehyun smiles sheepishly. “This is Donghyuck. Ka-edad niyo rin siya. He’s my cousin. Nakasalubong ko so we talked a little.”

“Donghyuck, this is Doyoung, jowa ko.” Doyoung smiles.

“This is his brother, Jeno.” He waves at Donghyuck.

“And Jaemin, Jeno’s friend.” Donghyuck smiles back.

“Pareho silang freshies sa Diliman and they’re gonna take their midyear here.” Donghyuck visibly shows wonder.

“Hello po! Freshie din ako. BS Bio rin, tulad ni Kuya.” Nag-smile siya ulit. Andaming smiles. “Ano’ng course niyo?”

Jaemin, after finally getting his normal self back, answers for both of them.

“Ah, Broad Comm ako ngayon. Si Jeno naman ay Journ. Nice to meet you.” Jaemin smiles for the first time, thankfully. Nag-stop na rin siyang i-pinch si Jeno. Thank God.

“Oh! May friend din akong ka-field niyo.” Donghyuck beams.

“Nice. Hyuckie, what if you show them both around bukas? You’re gonna take your midyear din diba?” Donghyuck beams at that again. “Is it okay for you both?”

“Of course, Kuya.”

“Okay then. That’s settled. Meet me tomorrow at 9 sa gate! See you there.” Nagpaalam na rin si Donghyuck, saying he has to go meet someone.

“Donghyuck seems like a nice kid. So bright,” Doyoung says after a while. Naglalakad na sila papasok ng skating rink.

“He is. When you become close, though, baka isumpa niyo siya,” Jaehyun laughs. “He’s very cunning. He’s nice, pero sobrang sly.”

Jeno laughs internally. He is definitely Jaemin’s type.

They spent the whole day frolicking around Baguio. Nang pababa na ang araw, it is getting colder so they had to wear their jackets.

Kung gaano kaliwanag ang araw, ganoon din kadilim ang gabi. Biglang ring umulan ng bandang alas siyete so they had to cut their gala short.

It’s only their second night but Jeno is freezing. He only brought his windbreaker because he thought that it wouldn’t be too cold. Pero he was wrong. So wrong.

But amid the chills he’s getting, he’s still looking forward to their whole stay.

For some reason, his gut tells him that his life will change the next day. But maybe it’s just hunger.

It wasn’t.

“Huy Jeno! Gago,” bumibigat na ang katok ni Jaemin sa pinto ng kwarto ni Jeno. “Gumising ka na! Alas Otso na, gago!”

“Ha?” Naalimpungatan si Jeno. Napabalikwas. _Puta._

“Wait sorry! Maliligo na!”

“Bilis! What the fuck, Jeno! Ayaw kong pahintayin si Hyuckie!” Dumadagundong pa rin ang katok ni Jaemin.

Habang aligaga pa rin, hindi niya mapigilang umirap. _Pangatlong araw pa lang apakalandi na._

“Oo! Mabilis lang ako. 8:30 alis na tayo, I swear,” sigaw pabalik ni Jeno.

8:30 nang lumabas siya sa kwarto niya. Buti na lang he prepared his outfit beforehand. He’s wearing a fit black polo with navy blue vertical stripes na marerealize mo lang if you were close enough. He paired it with dark blue skinny jeans, black belt, and black oxford shoes. He also brought his favorite black Saint Laurent city backpack para lalagyan niya ng documents and his jacket. He looks cool, he thinks.

Jaemin, who has already found someone to impress, also looks good, Jeno thinks. Naka-white t-shirt siya with a text na pinaibabawan niya ng grey washed jean jacket. Sinabayan niya ng black slacks and black casual sneakers. And a Balenciaga cap as a cherry on top.

“Dali! Alam mo namang maglalakad tayo e!” Medyo pagalit na sabi Jaemin.

“Oo na. Ito na nga.” Ni-lock na nila ang bahay. Natutulog pa si Doyoung sa loob kasi lunch pa sila magmi-meet ni Jaehyun.

Buti na lang malakas ang sense of direction ni Jeno kasi maraming pasikot-sikot bago pa makapunta sa road na obvious na ag way papuntang UP Baguio.

Dahil hindi pa sila sanay sa pataas at pababa ng daan sa Baguio, at hindi particularly athletic ang dalawa, nasa crossing pa lang e alas nuwebe na. They are late. Pero ilang minutes lang naman. Donghyuck will probably understand.

Medyo nag-brisk walk na ang dalawa para kahit papaano ay hindi pagpawisan. As they reached closer sa gate, halos patakbo na si Jaemin, excited to see the other boy. Jeno is trailing close behind but he didn’t want to run.

He sees Donghyuck and Jaemin’s shoulder visibly softens, although nag-tataas baba pa rin.

“Donghyuck! Hi! Sorry natagalan, si Jeno kasi.” Jaemin immediately says kahit habang papalapit na.

“Huy, okay lang.” Tumawa si Donghyuck.

Naka-akyat na si Donghyuck and Jaemin sa hagdan, close to the benches habang nasa baba pa rin si Jeno, catching his breath.

“By the way, kasama ko ‘yong friend ko. Okay lang? Nasa taas na siya.” Jeno hears Donghyuck say.

“Sure. The more the merrier,” Jaemin answers.

While the two talk, Jeno has his eyes looking at his steps. He’s panting pa rin. The cold air burns rin.

Paakyat na sila sa dreaded catwalk. Dahil bago pa lang sila, sobrang muscle enduring ng paakyat, which is such a big pain. Pero on its side, on Jeno’s left is Oble. The mighty Oble.

Like when he saw nang nadaanan nila dati, Jeno still feels a sense of pride habang nakatingala siya kay Oble. He’s still standing tall, head held high and arms spread wide. He is the biggest Oble. Oble is twinkling with morning dew, the vines and plants on his pedestal shine bright green. Faint fog is still present, creating an illusion of mystery.

But when his eyes land in front of _him_ , maybe this view is the best in his life so far.

No amount of pride Oble gives rivals the explosion of butterflies as he looks at the boy in front.

Donning a strawberry-colored hair, the boy is smiling wide. Kumakaway siya sa kanila, his furry pink pullover swaying with his movement.

This boy is _beautiful._ Jeno is, for the first time since he was born into this world, at a loss of words. He feels warmth in his cheek. _Ba’t ka nagba-blush?!_

Jeno, at the very least, is entranced. Malapit na sila sa taas, where the cute boy is stood. Habang papalapit, Jeno can’t help but be at awe at how radiant the boy is. Maybe it’s the hair color, or the pink pullover, or maybe it’s just him. Either way, Jeno loves the view.

“Injunnie!” Donghyuck shouts as he hugs the boy. Jaemin also bids hello wordlessly. But Jeno still isn’t feeling his words.

“Hello, guys!” Injun (?) greets back. Ngayong naka-catch up na si Jeno sa kanila, he sees na mas matangkad siya sa kanya. Jeno, before, didn’t think he had an _ideal type._ But maybe he has a thing for smaller boys.

“Guys, this is Renjun,” Donghyuck points at Renjun. “Comm student siya. Journ-Broad so feeling ko makaka-vibe niyo talaga siya.” _He’s a Journ major?! Cute!_

“This is Jaemin naman. Broad comm.” Jaemin waves and answers with a verbal hello. “And ito si Jeno, Journ. Major mo, Injunnie!”

Up until this point, hindi pa rin makasalita si Jeno. He’s still entranced at how this boy is just smiling, bubbling with warmth and energy at such a gloomy weather.

Nagkausap pa saglit but Jeno tones it down, still looking at the boy hanggang sa kinurot siya ni Jaemin.

“I think mej konti lang ang mage-enroll for this midyear. Konti pa lang nakita ko e.” Renjun says after a while.

“Ay oh? Akala ko marami.” Sagot ni Donghyuck.

“Sa Diliman ata ‘yong iba e. Marami ring nagaapply for transfer so,” nagkibit-balikat si Renjun.

Jeno doesn’t understand anything, but the fact that he finds Renjun’s voice so majestic. _Bakit ang soft?! Mama! Kinikilig ako!_

“Donghyuck, saan pwede mag-cr? Naiihi daw si Jeno,” now this perks Jeno up. _Huh?_

“Ah diyan oh. Go right tas it’s the first thing you see.”

Jaemin drags Jeno towards the comfort room. Nagpatianod na lang siya.

“Jeno? Anyare sa’yo doon?” Jaemin hits Jeno weakly. “Para kang tangang hindi marunong magsalita. Hindi mo man lang inacknowledge si Renjun!”

“Ha? Ano? What are you talking about?” Now Jeno is confused.

“You were rude back there, Jeno. It’s the first time I saw you like that, ha.” Jaemin frowns. “Normally, you’re the first one to greet strangers for the both of us. Pero back there?” Umiling si Jaemin to support his words.

“What? I wasn’t! I just couldn’t find any words to say!” Jeno says, defensive.

“Pero you were frowning at the boy! Hindi ka naman _RBF_ with new people.” Nanliit ng mata si Jaemin. “Wait, _I get it!”_

Jeno watches as Jaemin goes deep into thought, his eyes widening, and his mouth dropping open.

“Back there, was that Jeno _falling in love?!”_ Jeno scrambles in panic as he covers Jaemin’s mouth his his palm.

“Manahimik ka nga! Gago, baka marinig ka nila,” Jeno looks at his surroundings.

“Pero Jen! That wasn’t you back there, I swear. Explain!”

Jeno grumbles, but still speaks nonetheless. “I don’t know… Uh, I find him really cute? I guess.”

“Cute lang?” Jaemin prods, obviously excited at this new side of Jeno he’s just witnessing now.

“Uh, he was so bright. Did you see his smile? His hair was really nice din. And his sweater,” Jeno finds himself blush just by recollecting the image of the boy in his mind.

“Puta, nahulog na! Oh my god, I’m so proud of you!” Tumatalon talon na si Jaemin. “Who would have thought na nasa Baguio pala ang magpapa-tibok ng puso mo!”

“’Wag OA! I just find him cute, I guess. Anuba I’m not _falling in love_ ,” Jeno signs quotation marks in the air for added effect, “or anything like that.”

“Ganun din ‘yon! I’m so excited for you. Who knew my Jeno, a snob in matters concerning love, would fall for someone na kakakita niya lang?” Tukso pa ni Jaemin.

Umirap si Jeno. “Nacute-an nga lang.”

“Nacute-an, _for the very first time,_ na halos hindi na makasalita.” Jaemin nudges Jeno. “E hindi ka man lang naku-cute-an sa mga pinapakita ko sa’yo before. Just admit it, you have a crush.”

“I don’t.” Umirap ulit. “I mean, it’s too early to tell. I just find him attractive, that’s all.”

“K. But we have to go back. And when we do, you have to apologize and greet properly.” Jaemin threatens. Jeno just answers with a nod.

Bumalik na sila. They find the two talking animatedly with each other, Renjun laughing while covering his mouth.

“Hey,” Jeno speaks for the both of them.

“Uh, sorry for not greeting kanina.” He awkwardly laughs. “I’m Jeno, nice to meet you.” Jeno offers a hand, to which Renjun accepts with glee. Nakuryente din si Jeno pero hindi na niya pinahalata.

“It’s okay. I didn’t notice naman, hehe.”

Now that the air is back at being okay, Donghyuck leads the group. Mage-enroll na sila.

After a short while, since wala namang masyadong maraming nag-enroll for this term, Donghyuck and Renjun decide na itour na ang dalawa. It’s just an hour before lunch kaya they’re taking the time to explore, since maliit lang naman ang university.

“This is the Iskolar ng Bayan Building. The main building. These classrooms here,” Donghyuck points at the rooms in the hallway sa papasok pa lang sa building “are used for Math classes. Although hindi talaga dito ang Kolehiyo ng Agham Building. Sa likod nito ‘yon.”

They circled around the building. Right after, may medyo under construction pang building pero it looks like renovation ang ginagawa. It looks really beautiful, Jeno muses. UP Diliman has better buildings, obviously kasi the university has been built for long compared to this, but the buildings blend perfectly with nature.

Maraming pa ring puno and Jeno believes na these trees give the warm vibe of the university.

“That’s HKP, Human Kinetics Program building. PE ganon. Huwag na tayong bumaba. you won’t need to, anyway,” Renjun points at a building and what looks like an auditorium that’s way below, sa bandang likod lang ng KA building. The stairs look really intimidating. Baka more than 100 steps din ‘yon. Medyo curved pa. Katakot. “Do you know that yung Journ class ko last sem e sa kabilang dulo pa ng UP tapos I only have 30 minutes para pumunta diyan sa baba. And I had to come back up kasi next class ko sa same building ng Journ ko. Tas two times a week pota. Traumatic.”

_God, he looked so cute complaining. Pota. Nagmura pa hngg so cute._

“That’s the caf. It’s small so labanan talaga ang pagkuha ng upuan.” Nasa may cafeteria na sila, and it’s small but medoy rustic ang aesthetic. Sa isang side e long glass sliding windows. May balcony din and some set of long wooden benches and tables. “That’s where Renjun and I always eat. Buti lunch naming e sabay and hindi pa masyadong maraming tao so it’s okay.”

The view from the balcony is beautiful. Since it’s a wide space and the trees expand from below pa, malamig ang simoy ng hangin. They can see a part of the city proper and some mountains full of houses and it’s so nice to look at. It’s probably such a nice place to eat lunch at. Jeno wishes he can stay here for long. _Dahil sa view lang talaga, promise._

“Jeno, are you a staff of Kule?” Renjun asks Jeno out of the blue. Medyo kinilig si Jeno on how Renjun said his name. _Hngg._

“Nah. I didn’t want to. I wouldn’t be able to manage, anyway.” He answers. The Philippine Collegian demands commitment and Jeno thinks he wouldn’t be able to give them that.

“Oh! That’s true. I joined our school pub kasi it’s not as busy as Kule rin.” Renjun answers. It’s at this point where Jeno notices that Jaemin and Donghyuck are way ahead na pala. Medyo kinilig siya na Renjun stayed behind to keep Jeno company. Kilig.

“Why did you choose Journ?” Jeno asks. Ayan, he mustered enough energy and confidence to ask.

“Ah, no other amazing reason naman.” Renjun laughs, and Jeno feels a part of his heart swell a little. “I was part of our school pub. Tas na-in love ako sa everything about it tas ayon, bigla akong natanggap ng Comm so I went with it. Ikaw ba?”

“No other extravagant reason din naman,” Jeno laughs with Renjun. _Shet connection._ “I just found writing na something that I want to do for a living. I like to keep myself updated with current events so why not Journ din ‘diba?”

Renjun answers with an inaudible wow.

“And, si Kuya Doyoung na ang bahala sa field of science sa family namin kaya I chose humanities.” Jeno continues.

Renjun suddenly lights up. “Oh my gosh! Kuya mo si Kuya Doie? I totally see it!”

Jeno just brushes the hair on his nape, sheepish.

“I met him last sem through Sir Jae and Hyuck and I absolutely love him. Nag-visit siya for our Pasiklaban and I ship Sir Jae and Kuya Doie so much!” Renjun is now clinging to Jeno.

“Oh he did tell me he visited.” Jeno is stunned, like so much. He’s not even listening to Renjun gush about his Kuya (it happens to the best of us because it’s Kuya Doyoung ano pa ba) but mostly because Renjun? Is? Clinging? On? Him? In this lifetime? Jeno thanks the heavens.

“…and then he told me he’d be back and he’d treat me because I’m now his favorite.” Ngayon, napantig ang tenga ni Jeno. He snaps out of his trance, pero the kilig is still there.

“What? That’s not true. I’m always his favorite,” Jeno feigns disbelief, to tease Renjun.

“Well tell that to him. I heard it loud and clear. He said ‘my brother doesn’t like me showing affection anymore.’” Renjun quotes with visual presentation. “And I’m cuter than you so,” Renjun even sends him a kiss. _You sure are, cutie. But I’m not gonna give you the satisfaction._

“Hmm? You sure? But I’m like the cutest one in this place right now,” he says with a higher pitch and ends it with a pout. Jeno, the pa-cool guy that he is, sometimes likes to act cute. He is, he knows that, and whenever he does this, he always nails it. This is why do old ladies love him after all.

Renjun stares at him for a little while, shocked by the sudden character change. Jeno with his boy-next-door outfit and that cutesy face? Shocking.

“Jeno!” Renjun says loud, awe and fondness evident. “Sobrang cute!” Kinurot niya ang pisngi ni Jeno, gigil. “Do it again!”

Natawa na lang si Jeno. He likes the attention, especially from the boy he fancies.

Nagtuloy lang na magharutan ang dalawa, to which Jeno thanks the Lord for. Alam niyang hindi sila masyadong nag-start in the right foot, albeit unintentionally naman. He knows that there was a little air of awkwardness before this so he’s glad he initiated this small talk.

Hindi nakatakas ang lahat ng ito kay Jaemin. He’s so gonna pester Jeno about it later on.

Renjun and Donghyuck continue to tour the two around until they decide to eat lunch. Lampas alas-dose na rin when they finish. Hindi rin nakapagbreakfast sina Jaemin and Jeno so they are hungry.

“Saan na kayo nakakain, Jaemin?” tanong ni Donghyuck. Papalabas na sila, malapit na sa gate.

“Sa SM e Kenny Rogers pa lang and sa burnham.”

“Oh! So ‘di niyo pa natry ang Inihaws?” Jeno and Jaemin shake their heads. “Oks. Doon tayo. You have to taste it like, right now. I swear it’s good. Better than Mang Inasal.”

“Heh. It’s good, sure, but not better than Mang Inasal,” Renjun fires, rolling his eyes.

“Duh, it is. Masyado ka lang elitist na because Mang Inasal is more famous e mas masarap na.” Donghyuck rebuts.

Renjun feigns disbelief. “Medyo burnt ang chicken ng Inihaws, Hyuck, admit it. And I’m not elitist,” he huffs, “it’s objective criticism. Ikaw ay edgy lang.”

Donghyuck retorts back, making the two puzzled. Nasa gate na sila. The two continue to bicker, trying to prove the other wrong, which amuses Jeno. Iba rin ang dynamic ng dalawa, ano?

“Oh let’s make the two choose. Inihaws ngayon tas bukas e Mang Inasal,” Donghyuck proffers, handing out his arm in the process to which Renjun receives with similar determination.

Nagkatinginan na lang sina Jeno. Hindi na pinagpili pero no worries, Jeno thinks. He gets to score another moment with Renjun.

Medyo mahaba ang lakad papunta doon. Donghyuck had the audacity to tell them that it’s just walking distance. Jeno should have known better than agree. Don’t trust a taga-Baguio when they say that!

“Pagod na ako, Donghyuck,” Jaemin stops and tries to catch his breath. Hindi pa sila sanay sa walang tigil na paglalakad.

“Ang lapit na, I swear. It’s not that far, though? Pagod na agad?” biro ni Donghyuck.

“Sorry ha,” hinahabol pa rin ni Jaemin ang hininga niya. “Palagi akong sumasakay ng Jeep sa Diliman. And sometimes Jeno drives me wherever.”

Renjun looks at Jeno but keeps mum.

“Masanay ka nang maglakad, Jaem. It’s Baguio. Why spend for transpo if you can just walk kung saan ka pupunta?” Donghyuck nudges Jaemin with his elbow. Jeno does not even look at Jaemin pero alam niyang kinilig ang isang ‘yon sa pa-nickname ni Donghyuck.

Jaemin answers back and they bicker a little more. Naglalakad na sila ulit. Jeno looks at another university na nadaanan nila. It’s bigger than UP Baguio, he assumes looking at the entrance.

“You know how to drive, Jen?” Jeno abruptly shifts his attention to Renjun, gulat sa pag-initiate. Medyo kinilig din siya sa pa-nickname but Jeno’s just an ordinary man! Siyempre kikiligin siya.

“A-Ah, oo. Marunong na ako by 16.” Jeno smiles, trying to mask the panic nang muntik na siyang magcroak sa simula.

“Wow. Sana all,” Renjun pouts. _Cute!_ “Hindi ako naturuan because I was too busy going out hmp. Kuya Sicheng knows how to but I don’t know why I didn’t want to be taught. Sayang.”

Jeno smiles, this time more genuine. “It’s never too late to learn. I can teach you some time.” Now this is something Jeno didn’t know he had. Saan galing ang confidence, Jeno?

“Yey! I’ll remember that, ha?” Renjun bounces, weakly hitting Jeno in the process. _Kuryente._

Jeno still has not understood why he just finds Renjun so entrancing. Is this what they say ‘love at first sight’? But Jeno refuses to accept that.

Ayaw ni Jeno ng ‘cheesy’ stuff, let’s get clear with that. He does not _acknowledge_ how someone just falls for one in just, let’s say three seconds? Because to hell with that.

_‘I’m just curious. That’s it. I don’t even_ know _him at all.’_

But let’s see.


	2. Jenial (Jeno's Denial)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeno is in denial. edgy siya e. but he likes to spend time with renjun.
> 
> jaemin flirts with hyuck but hyuck doesn’t seem to realize.
> 
> jaehyun and doyoung flirt. like always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you sa response sa first chapter ahbdhvsf i just posted this because i was craving a filo noren au and i just thought na magcontribute,,
> 
> anyway, this is definitely unbeta-ed! please don't mind some errors. 
> 
> this became way tooo long im sorry pero i love writing this universe so much,,,
> 
> anyway, please don’t think of the technicalities in this fic,, kasi maraming inconsistencies sksks sorry in advance,,, take everything with a grain of salt,, pero the places are accurate (i tried,,,) and I just hope you’ll love baguio the way I fell in love with it the moment i stepped in it!

Curious. That’s just really it. Wala na. ‘Yon lang.

Jeno has never been a sap. It’s a fact that Jaemin painfully realized after being friends with him. Junior high pa lang sila, Jeno had always voiced out his aversion against Jaemin’s cringey ass, pero he’s tolerant. He’s not a _jerk_ because if he was, why did he stick with Jaemin’s loud ass?

Edgy. That’s what he likes to call himself.

Growing up as the _cutest kid_ na mahal na mahal ng old ladies in their subdivision, Jeno has made it his mission to appear cool and manly and just the boy-next-door. Medyo nagsawa na siya. He did that _Bear Brand_ milk TV commercial after all. _Never again._

Maybe his resentment of being viewed _only_ as this cute kid who had the cutest eye smile has lead him to this—ayaw sa cringey hugot culture, romance in itself, and just plain sweet stuff.

Maybe it’s the way he was only reduced to that _cute_ persona. Kuya Doyoung was always praised as the intelligent one. He had the sharpest mouth that instead of reprimanding him for it, the adults just fall in awe at how he knew that in that age.

Maybe because Kuya Doyoung has always been the “susunod sa yapak ng mga magulang niya.” Jeno knew he was good at Science and Math at a young age. He did well, pero hindi kasing-galing ni Kuya Doyoung at his age. Ilang beses nang nagsunog ng kilay si Jeno para lang sa Science at Math na ‘yan. Pero in family gatherings, palaging, “ang cute! Napanood ko ‘yong patalastas niya dati!” At kapag kay Doyoung, “Sa Pisay siya? Ang talino! Definitely a genius like you, Amiga!” He was sick of it.

He also did well! Top 1 din naman siya! Bakit palaging _cute cute_ na lang?

He likes to think he has a point, although marred ang approach niya ditto. He knows he’s smart, and being recognized only for being cute was getting too annoying.

Don’t get him wrong. That was because he was childish before, even if he would hate to call it that.

He resented that view growing up, but he’s way past that.

At Grade 10, medyo nagising na si Jeno. Hindi pwedeng palagi na lang ganito. So, instead of working his ass off from studying these Science stuff, he explored on what he does best and what makes him happy.

He played sports but graduated right after. Not his cup of tea.

He tried doing art, but he was not contented.

Then he found the humanities, the social sciences, and everything about it just screamed at him.

He started writing to express. He joined the Varsitarian, although he laid low quite before graduating. He didn’t have the time but he never stopped. So he applied to UP in Journalism. And lucky for him, he passed.

Pero hindi mo naman maaalis ‘yong mga nakasanayan mo na, ‘di ba? He still remains as this snob about anything romance. Siya pa rin ‘yong mahilig bumili ng mga black na damit. Siya pa rin ‘yong hindi nanonood ng mga _chick flicks_ on Netflix or TV.

It has become his way of life, definitely.

Pero with everything that is happening in his insides right now because of Renjun? This is another territory.

And Jeno is afraid.

“So,” Jaemin calls after they put their things down sa sala. “Renjun, huh?”

“What are you talking about?” Jeno says, binababa na rin ang bag sa may carpeted floor.

“Uy, ‘wag nang magmaang-maangan. I saw you kanina.” medyo malakas na sambit ni Jaemin habang binabato ang sarili sa sofa, feet propped up on the arms of the sofa.

“What?” medyo namula si Jeno, kinikilig pa rin.

“You were definitely flirting with Renjun, Jeno. And I think he’s flirting back?” Jaemin squints his eyes, attention focused on Jeno.

“We just met, Jaemin,” umirap si Jeno. “It’s called interaction. Hindi lahat e flirting na agad.”

“Deny pa. You,” tinuro ni Jaemin si Jeno. “definitely like Renjun.”

“No, I don’t. I’m just curious.” Jeno unlocks his phone, preparing to game kahit nakapantalon pa lang.

Jaemin smirks. “Sure. Convince yourself.”

“Hindi nga.” Jeno firmly exclaims. “Bakit ba ang bilis bilis ninyong maglabel na kesyo crush mo siya o gusto mo na siya when you just met? I don’t get that at all.”

_Here he comes_ , Jaemin thinks.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong. Hindi ko sinasabing fake or anything ‘yong mga nararamdaman niyo. I just think na, isn’t it a little too early to tell? What if they’re a serial killer? Or a fugitive on the run who wants someone to cover their tracks with?” Jeno looks up from his phone. “’Di ba? Aren’t people going too overboard on the idea of “love at first sight”? Don’t you think that that is one of the reasons why most marriages fail? I could be wrong, but possible.”

Nagkibit-balikat si Jaemin. Jeno does have a point. But he’s not going to give them the satisfaction by answering affirmatively.

“People are too focused on finding for ‘that special one’ that they just want anyone to be ‘that’ to fulfill that ideal, ‘di ba? And, isn’t that too self-serving? Who they think is on par with their ideal type, and by this I mean the attractive people, is the one they fall in love with. So para sa mga hindi conventionally attractive as per social standards, ano na?”

Jaemin rolls his eyes. Jeno’s getting too into it, _again._

“This is why the idea of “love at first sight” continues to push the social construct of beauty standards. I know for a fact that I fall for the same construct but that is because it is engrained in our system already.” Jeno stands up, ready to let it all out, to Jaemin’s chagrin. “But this sensationalization of this notion continue to pose danger on the body image and body dysmorphia of vulnerable people exposed in societies with this, right? Because first and foremost, this is the digital age and more people are exposed in the dangers of social media—and this is one of those. Kasi—”

“I know, Jen. You don’t like Renjun, okay. End of story.” Jaemin cuts. He’s just way too tired to argue with Jeno right now.

“I’m just saying.” Jeno shrugs.

“It’s not one of your soc sci papers, Jen.”

Jeno laughs at that. He got way too into it. Welp. He just resumes his game.

“Hey guys,” Doyoung says. Kakauwi niya lang. He’s on his phone. Jeno thinks he’s texting Kuya Jae.

“Kuya! Hi! Kumain ka na?” Jaemin enthusiastically asks.

“Yes, yes. I ate with Jae before going home. Kayo ba?” sagot ni Doyoung, kakaupo lang.

“Yes din, Kuya. Kasama ulit namin sila Donghyuck and Renjun sa SM.”

Binaba ni Doyoung ang phone niya. “Kamusta pala? UP Baguio is very pretty, right?”

“Sobra, Kuya! I can’t believe this wasn’t even in my choices nung UPCAT,” Jaemin excitedly says. “It’s a lot smaller than Diliman but that makes it so warm and homey. I’m so excited!”

Doyoung smiles. It’s exactly how he felt when he first stepped into the university.

“It’s getting late. Go and sleep. You have classes tomorrow.” Doyoung gets up. He’s had a long day as well.

Jeno and Jaemin wake up late, _again._

“Jeno! Ang bagal! Late na tayo!” Jaemin bangs on Jeno’s door.

“Tapos na! Ikaw din kasi hindi ka nagising!” Jeno answers, mouth muffled by his socks he put in his mouth.

“Bakit kasi ‘di ka nag-alarm! Shuta. Bilis!” Sigaw pabalik ni Jaemin. Umalis na rin siya para mag-ready tumakbo. Shet.

Malamig sa Benguet, alam ng lahat ‘yon. There are times where the temperature becomes negative on the higher places in the mountains. Pero over time, dahil sa global warming, hindi na kasing lamig ng dati. Pero kung ang katawan mo ay sanay na sanay sa mas mainit pa sa body temperature, Benguet sure will freeze you.

Jeno couldn’t sleep. He was freezing. Walang aircon sa kwarto kundi electric fan lang pero dahil tag-ulan na, the cold was too much for his body to bear. He wore a jacket and some jogging pants, covered himself with two blankets but the cold was still too much for him to sleep. So, he played all night until his eyes gave out. Kaya sila late.

But Jaemin was the same. He was chatting with Donghyuck all night long (with topics that they do not want to disclose with topics that they do not want to disclose _yet_ ) and they forgot the time.

Right after Jeno brushed his teeth, tumakbo ang dalawa. At least this time, alam na nila ang daan.

Pero as taga-baba all their lives, the uphill and downhill extravaganza of the road is still too much to bear for their still evolving bodies. Pawis at hingal na hingal sila ngayon.

Ang pinili nilang GE course ay STS or Science, Technology, and Society, required sa UP Baguio and UP Diliman and hindi pa nila nakuha so they decided na ito na lang.

It’s 10 minutes past 10 am. Hindi man halata, these two try their best to arrive on time, or at least 10 minutes before the classes start, kahit noong Senior High pa lang. They try not to let their attendance hinder them from getting the best results, kasi kung babagsak, dahil hindi sila nagreview, ‘yon na lang.

As slowly and as quietly as they can, pumasok sila sa may likuran, trying not to attract the attention of the professor. But that’s impossible.

As soon as they walked in, Jeno accidentally hits the door with his bag when he tried to put it on his other shoulder. _Welp._

“Jeno, Jaemin! Dito kayo oh!” Just as Jaemin winces from Jeno’s stupidity, a voice called them.

“Uy Renjun! Wala pang prof?” Jaemin answers for them.

“Wala pa. Ba’t sobrang aligaga naman kayo?” tumawa si Donghyuck.

Ah yes. Noong enrollment, nagulat sila nang parehas pala sila ng kukuning subject for this midyear. 6 units kasi ang available and kukunin siya for about a month. Hindi rin kasi required ang summer classes kapag first year or second year pa lang. Mostly, nirerequire lang ang summer classes sa mga third year or fourth year na dahil sa thesis or some extra credits. Balak rin kasi nila Jeno and Jaemin na kumuha na agad ng advanced units for their GEs para medyo makapagfocus na sila sa thesis or other required major requirements kapag graduating na sila or in third year. Ayaw nilang mahold back ng GEs since ayaw rin nilang madelay, sana. They want to graduate with Latin honors, pero if not, okay lang naman. Preferred lang ‘yong una.

“Itong si Jeno! Nakakabwiset hindi nag-alarm.” Jaemin says habang binababa ang bag sa upuan sa kaliwa ni Donghyuck. Si Jeno naman ay umupo sa tabi ni Jaemin habang si Renjun e nasa kanan ni Donghyuck. Nasa may second to last sa likod sila nakaupo. Hindi pa ready si Jeno makipag-socialize sa taong nagbibigay ng funny feelings sa insides niya. _Wait lang._

“Ba’t wala pang prof?” Jeno asks Donghyuck. “Hi, Renjun.” He meekly waves kay Renjun, he doesn’t want to happen what happened before, when he was stoic kahit sobrang daming nangyayari sa insides niya. He’s a new person. Renjun waves back with a smile. _Shet ang gwapo._

“May 15 minutes namang grace period? Wala ba kayong ganon sa Diliman?” Renjun answers. He’s wearing a white hoodie but with red right sleeve, blue left sleeve, dark green hood, and a nude-colored kangaroo pocket. It also has a “beautiful enough” lettering in _Bebas_ (he knows his fonts, thanks) and in an arc. Medyo kinain na siya nung hoodie and Jeno resists the urge to coo at how his pink hair greatly complements the hoodie. In short, _ang gwapo putangina._

“Meron naman. Pero halos lahat ng prof na nakuha ko last year and last sem e puro maagang pumapasok. Kaya nasanay na ako.” Jaemin laughs. Jeno laughs as he agrees.

“Sino prof natin? I forgot to look.” Jeno asks after some time.

“Ay ‘di niyo tinignan? You’re in for a treat. Buzzer beater siya so in exactly 10:15 siya papasok.” Donghyuck coyly smiles.

“Ay oh? Sino—”

“Good morning class.” Just as Jaemin asks back, a voice cuts him off.

Jaehyun comes marching with a baggy laptop bag. Naka-black tshirt siya with cargo pants. Pero ang gwapo pa rin. What surprises him the most is seeing his _real_ kuya following closely. _Ha?!_

“Hello, sir!” The class says. Medyo konti nga talaga sila. More or less 15 lang siguro. Most of them look like incoming sophomores din.

“Hello, hello.” As Jaehyun puts his things down, lumapit si Doyoung kanila Jeno. Nagse-set-up rin si Jaehyun so medyo may time pa sila to chika.

“Hey, Jen, Jaem. Good morning.” bulong ni Doyoung. Umupo rin siya one seat away from Jeno dahil his bag is placed there.

“Kuya? Bakit ka andito?” Jeno whisper-shouts. He’s really surprised. Hindi pa sila nagsama sa isang classroom _ever._ So medyo weird na kasama niya siya rito ngayon.

“Sit-in.” Doyoung silently laughs. He looks at the others seating close to Jeno. He spots Renjun and his smile widens. “Hi, Renjun, Hyuck.”

Nagwave na lang sila as greetings. Mukhang tapos na rin kasi mag-set-up si Jaehyun.

“So, hi ulit. I’m Jung Jaehyun. You can call me sir.” Jaehyun starts. “Sa mga hindi pa nakakakilala sa akin, I’m a fresh grad from here din so close lang ang age ko sa inyo.”

“And if you all don’t mind, makiki-sit in ang jowa ko,” Jaehyun adds, grinning at Doyoung who just sinks in his seat.

Halos lahat e nagsi-batuan ng sari-sarili nilang version ng “sana all.” Kahit sina Renjun e tumawa rin.

“Pota, he wasn’t supposed to address me.” Doyoung mumbles through gritted teeth pero si Jeno lang ang nakarinig.

“Ang landi niyo, Kuya.” Jeno says, laughing as Doyoung just hits him on his bicep as an answer.

Jaehyun laughs. “Heard that, Jeno.”

Jaehyun is definitely a good teacher, Jeno thinks. Dahil halos malapit lang ang edad niya sa mga estudyante niya, he knows how to engage and make the subject interesting.

Jeno’s thoughts then begin to circle around his brother’s relationship.

Medyo natatawa siya dahil sa rami ng differences nila. They’re total opposites. While Jaehyun is more laidback, Doyoung is uptight.

Looking at Jaehyun’s teaching style, he finds it funny na sobrang opposite ni Doyoung even in this. He remembers when he asked the other to teach him. He was so strict and direct in teaching this sensitive 9-year old that Jeno never asked again until much later. Hindi niya papaalisin kapag hindi nasagot ni Jeno ‘yong isang tanong, not even water break. Years after, noong medyo nahirapan si Jeno sa solid mensuration noong Grade 10 siya, he had to summon a lot of energy, confidence, and patience para tanungin ang kuya niya. Doyoung agreed. But just like when he was 9, sobrang authoritarian pa rin ng approach ni Doyoung, pero he did give water breaks. Looking at it now, tawang-tawa si Jeno sa mini-trauma sa batang Jeno.

Maybe opposites do attract, he thinks. Kung saan medyo lacking ang kuya niya (re: emotions), Jaehyun has lots (re: emotions).

_Ano kaya differences namin ni Renjun?_

No! Jeno fights the urge to think of Renjun drowning in his hoodie. Medyo pinagpawisan siya. He’s just thinking of his brother’s relationship tapos biglang litaw itong si Renjun sa thoughts niya? No.

Shuta naman kasi. He just really cannot deny that Renjun makes his insides turn. He doesn’t want to entertain it much more, baka mapunta sa dangerous territories. _Not today, Satan._

Anyway, malapit nang matapos ang klase and Jeno sees the other start to pack their things. Inaayos na rin niya ‘yong kanya.

“Kuya, sa’n kayo after?” Jeno asks Doyoung, who is currently resting his chin on his hands that was resting on the arm chair, focusing on Jaehyun.

“Lunch sa caf and then Jae’s office.” Doyoung also starts to fix his things. “Kayo ba?”

“I don’t know pa. Pero it looks like magsasama-sama kaming apat ulit.” Jeno looks at the three boys beside him.

“Mukhang kayo na magkakasama buong midyear ha,” Doyoung laughs.

“I actually think so, too.” Jeno laughs. “At least we won’t get lost around here.”

“So, that’s it for today, I guess. Tomorrow, I’ll be checking your attendance na. Medyo lenient pa ako ngayon because I was almost late.” Jaehyun laughs, making the others laugh as well. “Anyway, go over your syllabus para may clue na kayo for this whole midyear, okay? Isesend ko na lang sa email niyo because in this economy and environment, ‘wag na tayong magsayang ng papel.”

Jeno loves that Jaehyun will not be using too much paper for his class. He surveyed the class kung lahat ay may gadgets and access sa internet and when he found out na meron lahat, he immediately told the class na he will not be using papers, except kapag final exams na. Jeno loves that a lot.

“Kuya Doyoung, sasama ba kayo sa amin?” Donghyuck asks. Apparently, Jaemin and Donghyuck decided na magkakasama na sila buong midyear nang hindi kino-consult sila Renjun and Jeno. Pero hindi naman sila nagko-complain.

“Nah. You can go. Sasamahan ko si Jae for now since we have plans later din.” Doyoung signals Jaehyun. Maghihintay na lang sila sa labas while he fixes his things.

“Kuya! ‘Di ba iti-treat mo ako when you come back? Kailan na?” Renjun jokingly pouts, and Jeno’s heart does a backflip.

Tumawa si Doyoung. “Siyempre, siyempre. Next time? Habang hindi pa masyadong busy ang classes niyo.”

“Yey! Aasahan ko ‘yan, Kuya. Hmp.” Renjun jumps to Doyoung’s side, which means he’s close to Jeno now. _Ano ba, Renjun. Too close hehe._ “Ako talaga favorite mo e. Screw Jeno. You graduated na as Kuya’s best boy.”

“Excuse me?” Jeno feigns disgust. “I will always be at the top of the list. ‘Di ba, Kuya?”

Doyoung just laughs as an answer.

“Sorry, Jen. It looks like I’m the new favorite.” Renjun sticks his tongue out to Jeno. _Ay! Kiss kita diyan e!_

“You wish,” Jeno holds his head high. “Kuya Doyoung is just looking for a rebound right now.”

“Para kayong tanga, Jeno.” Jaemin buts in.

Tumawa na lang ang dalawa. Tinignan ni Jeno si Renjun and when he finds na nakatingin na si Renjun sa kanya, medyo may init na bumalot sa batok niya. _Ano ba hehe._

Lumapit na rin si Jaehyun sa kanila, to which Jeno thanks the Lord for. Medyo hindi alam ni Jeno ang gagawin or sasabihin because honestly, he’s just too frozen right now. _Pota ka Renjun hng._

“Sir, kakain kami sa SM. Kayo ba?” Renjun says.

“Caf kami ni Doie,” Jaehyun clings on Doyoung’s hand. “Una na kami. Ingat kayo.”

Napairap na lang silang apat.

“Pwede namang mamaya na lang kapag nakaalis na kami ‘no, sir?” kunwaring inis na sabi ni Donghyuck. Sir ang tawag niya kay Jaehyun kahit pinsan niya kasi siyempre nasa school sila and it’s awkward.

Tumawa na lang sila Doyoung at tumalikod na. They wave rin as the four start to take the opposite way.

“Sana all.” Jaemin whines. “Gusto ko rin ng someone na science-centered ang buhay.” Jeno doesn’t miss the way Jaemin’s eyes fell on Donghyuck for a second.

“Same.” Donghyuck pouts. “Gusto ko rin ng kaparehas ko ng field, you know. Para relate kami all the time. At pwede ko ipagawa papers ko sa kanya.”

“Hoy do your own works, Hyuck. Alalay ang hanap?” siniko siya ni Renjun.

“Char lang. Ito masyadong seryoso.” Sagot ni Donghyuck.

Jeno can definitely see na medyo bumaba ang energy ni Jaemin. _Aww ‘di ikaw ang hanap hahaha._

“Bakit ayaw mo sa ibang fields? Hindi ba boring ‘pag parehas na lang kayo sa everything?” Jaemin asks after a short while. Medyo natawa na lang si Jeno internally.

Donghyuck hums, obviously thinking. “Ibang field ‘yong ex ko dati. Medyo hindi nag-jibe personalities namin after a while.”

Jaemin deflates, though si Jeno lang ang nakapansin. As best friends for years, siyempre they can pick up some things about the other kahit hindi visible for others.

“Ay oh? Ano ba course niya? If you don’t mind me asking.” Jaemin asks, feigning enthusiasm para kunwari hindi naapektuhan ng slight sa biglang pag-bring up ng ex.

“Anthro. Pre-med din naman siya pero medyo malayo pa rin ‘yong disciplines ng courses namin. And I know I’m a lot to handle and he’s much more laid back. That worked at first pero in the long run, hindi nasustain, I guess.” Donghyuck prods his lips a little outward.

Medyo nagkatinginan sina Jeno and Jaemin when Donghyuck said “he”. Nilakhan ni Jeno ng mata sa Jaemin. _Donghyuck likes boys! Shoot your shot gago._

“Anyway, bakit ex ko na ang pinag-uusapan?” Donghyuck laughs. “We’re friends naman even though we broke up.”

Nag-pivot na sila kasi kakadaan lang nila sa gate. Papunta na rin silang SM, and Jeno still doesn’t have a clue kung saan sila kakain.

“Oh my god!” Renjun suddenly says with a loud voice, eyes perking and hands thrown in the air near his face. _Gago ang endearing. Bakit ang cute?!_

“Bakit, Renjun?” Jeno answers for them. Ngayon lang ulit siya nagsalita. Dapat addressing Renjun, ‘di ba? _Hehe._

“Hyuck, Mark works sa the Ampersand right?” Renjun exclaims.

“Oh my god oo pala! I will totally bring you there. Above 18 naman na tayong lahat ‘di ba?” biglang hinawakan ni Donghyuck ang siko ni Jaemin. Dahil isang normal na tao lang din si Jaemin, medyo may kuryenteng dumaan.

“I think so.”

“Okay! Friday! Wear your hottest outfits!” Donghyuck shouts, medyo kinukuha na ang atensyon ng mga nakakasalubong nila.

“Okay you don’t have to shout.” umirap si Renjun. Natawa na lang din si Jeno.

“Sorry I’m excited! You haven’t been there right? One of the best here in Baguio. And I get to introduce you to my other friends!”

Now Jaemin is kind of scared. He’s going to meet Donghyuck’s ex. He’ll finally see the other’s type. He’s just praying he won’t make a fool of himself.

Donghyuck gush about it for a while but Jeno tunes him out. Sobrang cute kasi ni Renjun right now and Jeno tries to ‘unfeel’ the alleged ‘butterflies in his stomach’. Paano ba naman kasi, his eyes are twinkling because of the sun. Habang animated na nakikipagusap siya kay Donghyuck e namemesmerize si Jeno on how a person can be so bright? and warm? and just shining?

He cannot, to the best of his abilities, take his eyes away from the boy. Medyo nauna na sila ni Donghyuck, the former clinging on the latter. Nasa may likuran lang silang dalawa ni Jaemin and at this point, wala na siyang pakialam kung anong itsura nung isa, possibly gazing at Donghyuck. He’s being so obvious yet Jeno could care less. Baka mas obvious siya, lek?

Medyo natawa siya with actual faint sounds na lumabas sa bibig niya nang medyo hinila ni Donghyuck si Renjun palikod kasi tatawid na sila. Napa-oomph pa siya. _Cute huhu._

Ito na ba ‘yon? Is he starting to see the other in rose-colored glasses? Is he starting to carve a Renjun-shaped hole in his heart?

Nonsense. Cute kasi kaya siyempre as a normal teenager who’s exploring himself and the world, he’s appreciating a person who he thinks is attractive, ‘di ba?

But then again, ngayon lang siya ganito. Pero there are firsts for everything naman.

Renjun looks back at them habang paakyat na sa SM. Sobrang steep, Jeno thinks. Matagal siyang masasanay dito. But that’s not the point.

Nahuli ba niya si Jeno? Medyo nagpanic siya internally kasi he does not even know what he looks like as he looked at the other. Jeno’s sure nahuli siya for a second. _Shet._

“Jen, Jaemin. Kaya niyo pa ba?” medyo pasigaw na sabi ni Renjun. Halos nasa taas na sila pero hindi pa nakakalahati nila Jeno. Jeno doesn’t miss the fact na may pa-nickname si Renjun sa kanya at hindi kay Jaemin. _Hehe anuba._

“Wait!” Jaemin huffs. “Bakit ba ang taas? And first time ito!”

“Weak! Hindi nga masyadong steep e,” Donghyuck teases. “Sa payat at liit ni Renjun, hindi nga siya napagod.”

“Ay dinamay pa ako?” Hinabol niya ‘yong isa dahil medyo tumakbo na paakyat after niyang sabihin ‘yon.

_Ang cute haha,_ Jeno thinks.

“Rinig ko ‘yon. Yie,” medyo hingal na sabi ni Jaemin. _Shit. Did I say that out loud?_

“What? Wala akong sinabi.”

“Sure, jan.”

Turns out, sa Mang Inasal sila kakain. Na-schedule pala nila kahapon. Nakalimutan lang ni Jeno. On going pa rin pala ‘yong Mang Inasal vs Inihaws debacle nila.

They ordered, Jaemin and Jeno ordering for them. Sila na rin pumili kasi sila rin magbabayad. Sila Renjun kasi pumili at nagbayad when they ate sa Inihaws.

While waiting for the food, Donghyuck and Renjun agrees on one thing—to interview the two. Jeno laments the time they disagreed against the other.

“So, bakit kayo nag-decide na mag-mid year in the best UP campus?” Renjun starts.

“Best campus? Sure.” Jaemin teases. “Wala naman. Jeno wanted to.”

“Huh? Jen?” Dahil magkatabi sina Renjun at Jeno, and adjacent to them are Donghyuck and Jaemin, Renjun lightly hits the other with his elbow.

“Kuya Doie told us one time na pwede ito so I figured na maganda mag-tour while I get advanced units. Why not, ‘di ba?”

“Ooh! So you planning to do it in UP Visayas, then?” Donghyuck asks.

Jeno laughs. “Tignan natin.”

“Kayo ba? Why did you want to study here in Baguio and not Diliman?” tanong ni Jaemin.

“First and foremost Mister Jaemin,” Donghyuck starts, “hindi ‘default’ ang Diliman.”

“Hey! I didn’t say that! I just asked kasi taga-baba kayo but you’re here. Walang shady undertone,” defensive na sagot ni Jaemin.

“Char lang,” Donghyuck laughs. “Dito kasi nag-aral si Kuya Jae and I love the weather so ito first choice ko.”

“Ako naman e hindi ako tinanggap ng Diliman,” umirap si Renjun. “Like hello? You’re missing out?”

Tumawa sila.

“Just kidding. I didn’t like my choices din doon so I’m glad hindi ako doon pumasa, I guess. Imagine? Me? Chemical Engineering? What was I thinking?”

“Chem Eng? Really?” Medyo pa-hysterical na nasabi ni Jeno.

“Yes! Hindi ko na maalala kung bakit ko napili ‘yon. I mean, as a grade 11 na hindi pa sure kung ano ang direksyon na gusto sa buhay, nagpatianod na lang sa peer pressure.”

“Wait, STEM ka?” Tanong ni Jaemin.

Natawa si Renjun. “Unfortunately, yes. Like I said, hindi ko talaga alam ang gusto ko up until Grade 12 noong nagpatianod ulit ako with my other friends when we joined in our school pub. I started as a sci-tech writer pero lumipat sa editorial. And that’s when I fell in love with it, I guess.”

“Buti Comm napili mo for your second campus,” Jeno laughs. “Classmates kayo ni Donghyuck before?”

Donghyuck answers for them. “Hindi, actually.” Natawa sila ni Renjun. “Classmate ko dati ‘yong ka-block ni Renjun, si Daehwi. I was out drinking sa Concoctions with some of my blockmates when we saw them at the table next to us. And dahil comm people has this need to introduce themselves to literally everyone in the campus, ayon.”

Tumawa si Renjun. “That’s so true.”

“Daehwi was kind of intoxicated na and he started introducing his blockmates to us. Tas ayon, pinagmerge namin ‘yong tables namin and we kind of just clicked, I guess. Especially nagkatabi kaming dalawa.”

“At first I thought Donghyuck was hitting on me, jusko. Believe it or not, medyo shy type pa ako,” Renjun and Donghyuck laugh and Jeno just smiles looking at them revisiting the memory. “He just started talking to me so inentertain ko na lang. Then noong nagdecide na ‘yong ibang kasama namin na umalis na kasi hindi na nila keri ituloy sa Amper, hiningi niya Facebook name ko.”

“Sa true! Pero hindi dahil bet ko siya or anything pero I just really liked his vibe tas ayon, friends 4 lyf.” Nagcling pa ang dalawa. “Pero wait! Kayo dapat ii-interview namin bakit kami nagke-kwento?”

Tumawa na lang sila Jeno and Jaemin as response.

Magtatanong na sana sila Renjun when their food arrived. Taimtim na kumain muna sila dahil hindi nakapag-breakfast sila Jaemin and they really are hungry na.

Halatang nagutom ang apat kasi halos hindi sila nagusap kahit mid-meal. Nagulat na lang sila nung narealize nilang tapos na sila kumain.

“So, the moment of truth.” Donghyuck claps his hands twice.

“Which is better, Mang Inasal or Inihaws?” Renjun says, a voice like the ones in over the top TV commercials.

Nagkatinginan muna sila ni Jaemin.

“Mang Inasal.”

“Inihaws”

Nagkatinginan ulit ang dalawa, nagpipigil ng ngiti. They’d definitely side with the boy they fancy, thank you very much.

Happy for taking his side, kumapit si Renjun sa braso ni Jeno. “I told you, Hyuck!”

Kumapit rin si Donghyuck sa braso ni Jaemin. “Jaemin has more superior taste. Jeno, sashay away. Charot.”

Nagkatinginan ulit sila Jeno and Jaemin, medyo kinikilig. _Welp._

Friday finally comes, and Jaemin is losing his mind.

Unang-una, Donghyuck is 100% oblivious! Medyo nauurat na si Jaemin! How can someone who definitely has an Aries Venus be so so so stupid in realizing na ilang araw nang nagdadrop si Jaemin ng signs?

After being thrown off nung nalaman niyang hindi bet ni Donghyuck ng taga-ibang discipline, Jaemin decides na babaguhin niya ang isip ni Donghyuck. He doesn’t plan on confessing, though. He’ll make the other confess. He’s a full-fledged Leo, what you mean? Confessing? What’s that?

Pero god Donghyuck’s dense as fuck.

Here are some of Jaemin’s favorite (re: hatest) moments.

Exhibit A:

After nilang kumain sa Mang Inasal, dahil wala naman na silang gagawin for the day, nag-aya si Renjun na pumunta sa Burnham Park. Gusto raw niya mag-bike.

Dahil masyado nang traumatized si Jaemin sa “walking distance lang naman ‘yon” nila Donghyuck (never trust a taga-Baguio when they say this, really, never), pinilit niyang mag-taxi na lang sila, kahit siya pa magbayad. And they did, libre naman. Medyo mahal nga lang. 30 pesos kasi ang start ng metro. As a jeep person or nagpapahatid na lang kay Jeno, mas natraumatize ata siya dito sa bayad. Pero at least hindi siya hihingalin, especially at magba-bike sila (at may plans siya hehe).

Habang nasa taxi, nag-iisip siya ng ways ti show affection, para naman medyo ma-pick up ni Donghyuck ‘yong intentions niya. Dahil iikot pa lang ‘yong taxi, he figures he’ll start his plans now.

Ipinatong ni Jaemin ang ulo niya sa balikat ni Donghyuck. Medyo nag-calculate siya nang konti para tignan kung uncomfortable ‘yong isa. Of course, medyo lumalapit siya sa personal space ni Donghyuck so he’s careful. Hindi naman nagpakita ng kahit anong discomfort ‘yong isa.

“Aww motion sick si Jaemin.” Donhyuck coos. “Higa ka lang. It’s fine by me.”

Medyo naloka si Jeno dahil ngayon lang niya nakitang magpakita si Jaemin kahit anong signs ng motion sickness kasi if he remembers it right, palaging nagla-last minute review siya habang nasa kotse niya? Magaling din ang isang ‘to.

“Wala ka ba masyadong balance? Kasi I think motion sickness can be brought out by imbalance.” Donghyuck says.

“I don’t think so. Maybe it’s the uneven roads here,” Jaemin answers. Medyo nagcling pa siya sa siko ni Donghyuck, for effect. _Hehe._

“Ah. I remember sabi ni Mark e magandang mag-aroma therapy para mabawasan. White Flower gano’n. Wait may Vick’s ako dito.” Kinalkal ni Donghyuck ‘yong tote bag niya.

“Sino si Mark?” Jaemin asks.

“Ah ‘yong ex ko? Medyo motion sick din kasi siya kaya hindi masyadong nagta-taxi.” Donghyuck answers nonchalantly, still looking for that small container.

Medyo nangasim ‘yong mukha ni Jaemin. Here he is showing affection pero biglang nagbring up ng ex ‘tong isa.

Nahanap na ni Donghyuck ‘yong Vick’s. Binuksan niya na rin at binigay kay Jaemin. “Here.”

Tinanggap ni Jaemin at inalis na rin ang ulo sa pagkakapatong sa balikat ni Donghyuck. “Thanks.”

_Hmp. Bakit biglang may pa-bring up ng ex?_

Exhibit B:

Nasa rentahan na sila ng bikes sa east ng manmade pond in the middle of Burnham Park. Medyo namangha si Jaemin sa dami ng bikes na nakahilera. Marami ring variety, some he has not seen before. May mga usual single BMX bikes, mountain bikes, those with side cars. Meron din ‘yong mga may dalawang seat and pedals na specially designed for couples siguro. What Jaemin really liked e ‘yong medyo pambata though designed for older people na may literally two small monoblock chairs at ‘yong pedals e para sa harapan lang.

He’ll try his best to coax Donghyuck of joining him on one.

“Hyuck! Dito tayo oh! Ang cute!” Jaemin says, gently pulling Donghyuck by the elbows doon sa may gano’ng bike.

“Eh? Ayaw mong magrace na lang tayo? That seems more like you,” tumawa si Hyuck. _Sure, on normal days. Pero I’m trying to make memories with you. Hmp._

“Ngayon lang ako makaka-experience nito e,” Jaemin pouts, pulling his body closer to Donghyuck’s left. “Tas gano’n na lang din kila Jeno! Omg! Two versus two para cute.” He extends the last syllable, trying to guilt the other. _Huy Jeno thank me later._

“Sige na nga.” Nagpatianod na lang si Donghyuck. It’s a good change.

“Yey!” Hinila na ni Jaemin si Donghyuck.

“Jeno! Renjun! Race daw tayo sa ganito oh.” Donghyuck calls for the two. Medyo may sarili silang mundo, e.

“Oy sure! Let’s bet? G?” Renjun pulls Jeno by the wrist, running to where the other two is. Medyo namula si Jeno but he tries not to show. “Losers pay for the bikes!”

“G!” Jaemin and Donghyuck say.

They paid for it and inayos na ‘yong sarili sa bike. Medyo cramped nga siya pero hindi naman uncomfortable. Sadyang these boys have really long legs lang talaga. Medyo nag-argue pa sila kung sino sa harap o sa likod. In the end, they decide na si Donghyuck sa harap dahil mas alam niya ‘yong lugar. Sa kabila naman e si Renjun sa harap.

“From here, paikot doon, tapos balik dito! Tapos magswitch para naman matry ng lahat tapos ‘yon ulit.” Tinuro turo ni Donghyuck. Medyo mahaba ‘yong expanse since extended kahit sa kabilang side ng manmade pond.

Sa may end sila pumwesto para naman cute. Medyo nagstruggle sina Renjun at Donghyuck dahil mabigat ang mga dala nila and dahil mahaba ang legs ng mga binatang ito. Natawa na lang ang dalawa na parehong nasa likod.

“Ready, get set, go!” Jaemin shouts at sabay na nagpatakbo ang dalawa.

Tawa nang tawa ang dalawa sa likod dahil sobrang obvious na naghihirap ‘yong mga nasa harap. Medyo mabagal din ang andar ng mga bike nila.

“Hyuck! Bilis! Dali, omg! Mauunahan ka na ni Renjun!” Jaemin hypes, his hands on Donghyuck’s shoulders.

“Renjun! Dali!” Jeno shouts din, though he helps the other by accelerating the bike with his feet. Hindi nakatakas ito kay Jaemin.

“Hoy, Jeno! Madaya! Bawal ‘yan!” sigaw niya pero ginawa niya rin.

Nandilat si Jeno. “Wala sa rules! At ikaw rin naman!”

Tumawa na lang sila. Noticeable din na mas bumibilis na rin ang andar ng mga bisikleta nila dahil napick up na ng dalawa ‘yong pace nila.

Medyo nauuna sina Jeno dahil sa pag-headstart niya at kahit Renjun has the smaller bid out of the four of them, his strength really is something else.

“Hyuck, ilapit mo nang slight para isabotage ko sila,” bulong ni Jaemin. Tumawa muna si Donghyuck pero ginawa niya rin. Pagkalapit, Jaemin clutches his hand on the back frame of the bike.

Medyo tumabingi ang bike nila Renjun na sobrang itinawa ni Jaemin. “Hoy! Madaya!”

“’Di ba walang rules?” Nandilat rin si Jaemin. Dahil sa konting road bump, medyo nanguna na sila Jaemin.

They’re gonna have to pivot na, where it gets tricky. Dahil nasa right sila Donghyuck at pa-left ang turn, medyo may leverage sila Jeno. Dahil dito, medyo naka-overtake sila Jeno.

“Hyuck! Omg!” Niyugyog ni Jaemin si Donghyuck, panicking pero tumawa tawa lang ‘yong isa.

“Sandali! Ito na!” Mas binilisan ni Donghyuck ang pagpedal to catch up. Pero medyo noticeable na pagod na ‘yong dalawa dahil bumagal na sila. Rinig na rin ni Jaemin ang hingal ni Donghyuck, kahit ‘yong kay Renjun rinig niya rin.

Medyo napagod din si Jaemin kakasigaw. Tawa na lang sila nang tawa kapag umiiwas din sa mga batang nagbabike rin. May muntik na ring bumangga kanila Jeno na sobrang itinawa nilang apat.

After a while, papalapit na sila sa starting line. At bumabalik ulit ‘yong hype. Jaemin cracks his knuckles. Jeno does the same.

Medyo nauna sila Donghyuck kaya they had the jumpstart. Right after the bikes slow down and they feel it’s safe to come down, agad na tumalon si Jaemin, ready to change seats. Pagkaupo ni Jaemin, nagulat siya nang biglang umandar ng medyo mabilis ang bike e hindi pa niya naaayos ang paa niya sa pedals. Tinutulak nap ala ni Donghyuck ‘yong bike for a headstart.

“Hoy, Hyuck! Madaya!” Sigaw ni Renjun. “Jeno! Dali!” Ginaya na rin niya ang ginawa ni Donghyuck. Binilisan na rin ng dalawa ang takbo nila para magsettle sa kanilang mga upuan.

“Jaem! Go! Go! Go!” Niyugyog na rin ni Donghyuck si Jaemin, obviously mocking when the latter did that to him kanina. Dahil medyo hingal pa si Donghyuck sa pagpedal like his life depended on it, hinabol muna niya ang hininga niya. He looked at Renjun who is currently hyping Jeno and holding his shoulders. _Uy may something._

When Donghyuck finally catches his breath somehow, nag-isip na ulit siya ng ways to sabotage the other team. Patuloy pa ring nagpedal si Jaemin, also like his life depended on it. Hindi pwedeng sila ang magbayad kasi si Jaemin na ang naghandle ng taxi fare at kuripot si Donghyuck.

“Jaem, ilapit mo nang konti para magpagilid sila. Dali,” natatawang bulong ni Donghyuck. Still on the lead, inilapit ni Jaemin ang bike nila para maetchapwera sila Jeno. Medyo nagsucceed nang medya gumewang ang bike nila pero mabilis ding nakabalik sa dati. _Dang._

“Hoy, Jaemin! Ang daya daya niyo talaga!” Sigaw ni Renjun. Halos patayo na siya, his right hand on Jeno’s shoulder and the other raised to show anger, for effect. “Jen, bilis!” Medyo niyugyog na rin ni Renjun ‘yong isa.

Halfway on the trail, halatang pagod na si Jaemin pero si Jeno e medyo may energy pa.

“Jaemin malapit na sila Jeno! Dali! Omg,” sigaw ni Donghyuck, pabalik balik ang tingin kanila Jeno at sa harap.

Medyo nakacatch up na sila Jeno and Jaemin takes this seriously kaya kahit hingal na hingal na siya, mas binilisan niya pa rin. “Hyuck, hilain mo sila dali.”

Nilapit ulit ni Jaemin ang bisikleta kanila Jeno at agad na hinawak-hawakan ni Donghyuck si Renjun pero lumaban pabalik ‘yong isa. “Hoy Hyuck! Shuta ka!”

Papalapit na sila sa starting point at medyo nagsisigaw na sina Renjun at Donghyuck. Medyo nakukuha na rin nila ‘yong atensiyon ng ibang tao pero mas importante ngayon kung sino ang magbabayad ng renta ng bike nila.

They arrive almost at the same time. Buti na lang at walang sumemplang kahit nagdadayaan na sila.

“Nauna kami!” Sigaw ni Donghyuck.

“Kami nauna!” Sigaw pabalik ni Renjun.

Hindi na makapagsalita sina Jeno at Jaemin dahil hingal na hingal pa rin sila. Buti na lang naka-polo sila at nakatanggal na jackets nila bago nila sinimulan ‘yong race.

Medyo nagbangayan pa ang dalawa.

“Tanong na lang kaya natin sa mga bata. Doon oh,” Jeno suggests after finally catching his breath.

Jaemin and Renjun immediately jump towards the kids.

“Hello. Sino sa tingin niyo ‘yong nauna sa amin,” Renjun politely asks the kids who are currently sat on a bench, eating buttered corn on a cob.

“Ay hindi ko po nakita, Kuya,” sabi ng isa. “ _Dong, ammom sino kano immuna kinyada_?”

Jaemin doesn’t speak Ilocano but he feels like he knows what the boy asked.

“Si Kuyang nakawhite ata.” The younger one says. Renjun visibly deflates but he’s not a sore loser.

“Thanks, kids. Enjoy your corn. Bye,” Jaemin says, grinning.

Pagkabalik na pagkabalik, Jaemin immediately latches himself on Donghyuck. “Hyuck! Panalo tayo!”

Tumalon talon na rin si Donghyuck, celebrating their win (at dahil hindi sila gagastos, yey!). Dahil talon na sila nang talon, halos nakahug na si Jaemin kay Donghyuck, pero ‘yong isa hindi man lang napansin.

“Wala, Junnie! Weak kasi kayo!” sigaw ni Donghyuck.

“Madaya kasi kayo! Ginawang bump cars ampota,” Renjun says, medyo pikon. Hinawakan na lang siya ni Jeno sa balikat, soothing. Natawa nang konti si Jaemin. _Uy Jeno, damoves._

“Kayo unang nandaya, ‘no! May pa ‘headstart’ pang nalalaman!” Kagat pabalik ni Donghyuck, a wild Jaemin still latched onto him.

At this point, medyo naiinis na si Jaemin. _Hoy, Hyuck! Kanina pa ako naka-hug sa ‘yo hindi mo man lang pinansin?_

Bumitaw na lang siya. Nakita ito ni Jeno. Nag-smirk siya when Jaemin looked at him. _Look at me, Jaem. Ano ka ngayon?_

Medyo appalled si Jaemin. Nakacling sa Renjun ngayon kay Jeno habang nakikipag-away pa rin kay Donghyuck. ‘Tong isa naman, dahil wala nang nakakapit sa kanya, halos lumapit na kay Renjun. Medyo na-badtrip si Jaemin.

_Hmp. Next time._

Exhibit C:

Okay, last na. Sobrang dami kasing moments na ganito and Jaemin is slowly losing his mind, if he hasn’t yet.

At Thursday night, nagchachat sina Jaemin at Donghyuck (of course, initiated by Jaemin). Nagchat na sila before pero ang pinag-usapan lang nila e “best places to visit in Baguio with testimonies from Donghyuck” and this time, Jaemin wants to dig deeper of who Donghyuck really is, and maybe share a little of his life na rin in the process.

Ayon, to cut the going three hours of chatting short:

Donghyuck:

_member kami ni junnie ng bahaghari upb_

_kayo ba? did u join yours?_

_i wanted to_

_pero nung recruitment nila e medyo  
sumabay sa isang major project ni  
jeno kaya sabi ko for second sem  
na lang pero ayon,, tinamad ako,,,_

_awts,,_

_pwede naman atang magpaspecial  
orye?_

_like nagpaorye lang kami kay kuya  
baekhyun kasi block alum ni junnie_

_wala pa kaming kaclose masyado : <<_

_maybe this sem na lang,, para same  
org tayooo!!_

_luv that!! gora para at least may mej  
kaclose na connection kami doon  
hahahahha!!_

_yey!! we’ll def join!! update namin  
kayoooo :>>_

_okssss_

_n e wayz,,,_

_u wanna join me for lunch sa 50’s  
diner sa may mil cut?_

_oy sure!! mej craving na rin ako akskk_

_u have to try their spag!! yumz_

_yeeey!!_

(Medyo nag-squirm nang konti si Jaemin while tucked in his fuzzy blanket and another medyo thick but not too much comforter on top (sorry it’s just to cold asdhaf). He feels his cheeks burn.)

_rec me the best food there!!_

_siyempre!! i’ve eaten there before with  
mark and junnie and it’s good!!_

(Pota. Ayan na naman ‘yong ex.)

_ay speaking,, i’ll tell junnie!! wait_

_ajdjfb wait_

_wanted it to be us lang : <<_

(Wait, shet it sounded so needy, Jaemin thinks. Hngg)

_ay,,, told him na tho : << sorryyyy_

_it’s okaaay hahaha_

(It’s not okay.)

_why thooo_

_la laaang haha_

_mej umay na ako kay jen_

_he’ll def come : <<_

_wanted it to be a secret haha_

_para naman i did something na  
hindi siya kasama ajsjda_

_ooohhh valid,,,_

_wait sige just the two of us na lang_

_i’ll just tell junnie na ‘abort mission’_

_hahahaha_

_okieee_

_tenchu : >_

(Okay, medyo kinaya hngg. Nagramble pa siya pota buti he though of a nice excuse.)

_yeeey!! okay naaa_

_yeeeeeeey!!_

They continue to talk more. Hindi pa nila nagagawa ‘yong take home activity. Welp.

Madaling araw na when Donghyuck called it a day. Medyo pinapagalitan na raw kasi siya ni Kuya Jaehyun. Jaemin sleeps with a bright smile. He’s looking forward to tomorrow.

Which disappoints him so much. He’s just so, so, so disappointed right now.

Jaemin and Donghyuck are about to escape when Doyoung called their names.

“Hyuck! Jaem! Sa’n kayo pupunta?” He asks. Medyo natawa si Donghyuck.

“Sa 50’s diner sa Military Cutoff, Kuya. Why?” Donghyuck answers and belatedly realizes na he should not have told him that. Sinampal niya ‘yong bibig niya and slowly looks at Jaemin, eyes conveying apology.

“Ooh! Tuloy kayo? Daya!” Renjun exclaims. “Jen! Sama tayo, please.” Nag-cling siya kay Jeno.

Jeno knows of Jaemin’s plans and all he can do right this moment e apologize with his eyes. Tinignan niya si Jaemin and mouths ‘sorry’.

“Ikaw,” Jeno just says. _So much for cockblocking. Sorry Jaem._

“Sama kami! Def craving for their carbonara!” Hinila na ni Renjun si Jeno, kind of struggling dahil mabigat si Jeno pero he’s doing his best.

All this while, nagko-converse ‘yong mag-jowa.

“Sama rin kami. Doie’s also craving for it.” Lumapit na sina Jaehyun at Doyoung, ready to walk to the diner.

Wala naman nang magawa si Jaemin. It’s not like he can just tell them na hindi sila pwedeng sumama.

Marami pa namang oras.

They walk by two’s, each having their own conversations.

“Sorry, Jaem. Next time, I swear.” Donghyuck says, clingin onto Jaemin’s elbow.

“Okay lang,” Jaemin laughs. “Next time.”

“Jen! He’s totally oblivious! I hate it!” Jaemin exclaims. Nakaupo siya sa kama ni Jeno habang naghahanap ng susuotin ‘yong isa.

“Maybe he’s just playing dumb? I mean, you’re totally obvious. Any normal person can see na you’re definitely flirting with him,” Jeno says. Nagtaas siya ng dalawang pants. “Which one?”

“They’re the same. Try other colors,” Jaemin says. “Right? I mean, bakit hindi niya nakikita?” Napahiga na lang si Jaemin.

They’re preparing na for tonight. Alas otso daw sila magkikita kita sa may 7/11 sa Lower Engineer’s Hill, medyo malapit lang sa kanila.

Nakapagpalit na rin si Jaemin. He chose a black fitted mesh sando top with a black bomber jacket with neon green details. It looks good kasi in black light. Nagsuot rin siya ng blacked ripped skinny jeans that accentuates his long legs. He knows he looks good. Donghyuck, just you wait.

“Jaemin help. I have to look good tonight.” Jeno whines.

“Uy, kilig.” Jaemin laughs. “You just realized you have a crush on Renjun and you’re already so nervous with meeting him.”

“Ano ba! It’s my first time.” Jeno says, embarrassed.

It’s his first time officially calling new, foreign feelings as having a “crush” on someone. After denying everything he felt this whole week, alam niyang it’s not just plain “new people fascination” but because he definitely has the hots for the other boy.

Paano ba naman kasi? Renjun has been very clingy. Halos mag-iisang lingo palang silang magkakakilala e dikit na nang dikit ‘yong isa (like how Jaemin is with Donghyuck). Hindi naman nagko-complain si Jeno. Masyado lang kasing nama-mangle ‘yong insides niya whenever the boy does it. He felt really bothered at first dahil sa physical and physiological reactions niya whenever Renjun comes close to him. He knows it’s not just mere curiosity anymore at he’s just denying it dahil ayaw niyang harapin.

Everything came like a bullet train hitting a building. When it happened, he was just playing a game on his phone when a notification bubble appeared. Nag-chat si Renjun. May nakita daw siyang pusang kamukha ni Bongshik. He immediately clicked on the notif with a bright smile on his face. And then he realized.

_Wait. Did I just stop halfway on a game to reply? Fuck._

He never does that! Not even for Jaemin, Kuya Doyoung, or his parents! Pinapatapos niya muna before he replies and he willingly did that, and with a big smile at that, for Renjun?!

_Shet, gago crush ko na ‘to._

And he runs to Jaemin’s room and spills.

Which brings him to his current problem.

“Jaem! Choose my outfit for me please,” Jeno pouts.

Tumawa muna si Jaemin. “Oo na.”

A quarter before 8, ready na sila. Jeno wore a black long sleeved black graphic turtleneck top and a black thin bomber jacket. His shirt is tucked in a high wasted light blue ripped jeans with a black belt with a hoop on the end. Nakablack sneakers din siya. He also had his hair parted on the side. Basta e-boy looks. He knows he looks good. Renjun, just you wait.

Doyoung is waiting on the couch when they went out from Jeno’s room. Sasama rin kasi sila ni Jaehyun to meet with his other friends. Hihiwalay rin sila when they get there. Ngayon lang kasi ulit sila magkikita kita.

“Kuya. Let’s go na ba?” Jeno says, fixing his watch.

Tumayo na si Doyoung. Medyo tame lang ang suot niya. Black long sleeved turtleneck at tatlong necklace of varying sizes. Medyo fitted siya, showing off his thin waist and broad shoulders. He wore black skinny jeans din, also showing off his long, slender legs. May long chain on his left. Classic look pero pamatay pa rin.

Medyo funny sila tignan. When one is all black, the other almost all black but with light blue jeans, the other one is shining with neon. Their outfits just scream their personalities.

Pagkarating sa 7/11, nandoon na si Jaehyun. Sinalubong agad siya ni Doyoung.

“Damn, you look good, baby.” Salubong ni Jaehyun.

“Well, you don’t look too bad yourself,” Doyoung teases. Sobrang gwapo ng jowa niya. Jaehyun wore a light blue denim jacket over a white shirt. Nakablack skinny jeans din siya. Very casual and not really new pero he still rocked the look.

“Landi niyo.” Jeno says.

Alas otso na pero wala pa rin sila Renjun. Nag-usap na lang muna silang apat while waiting.

“Kuya! Sorry!” Biglang may sumigaw.

Pagkalingon ni Jaemin, he cannot help but audibly gasp. It’s Donghyuck, half running pababa. _Gago! Bakit sobrang gwapo?! Shuta fuck me,, charot._

He knows Donghyuck is very comfortable on his own skin. But nothing can prepare Jaemin of seeing the other with _this_ outfit.

Donghyuck is wearing a semi-cropped fitted burgundy pullover. His lean abdomen with hints of abs is showing, and a little of his fishnet stockings too. May black thick choker siyang may big ring sa gitna. He also wore black high waisted semi-skinny jeans with kinda big rips that show his stockings. May hint of makeup rin. Bottomline, boss bitch. Jaemin is shocked.

Behind Donghyuck is Renjun, running to catch up. And Jeno is gagged.

Jeno is already taken aback by Donghyuck and his heart might just burn because of Renjun.

While Donghyuck’s scream ‘gays you should never fuck with or you’ll face hell’, Renjun’s shows a ‘art hoes’ aesethetic. Jeno might just fall on the floor and turn into jelly. Renjun wore a mustard yellow oversized t-shirt over white long sleeves tucked in a highwaisted light blue jeans (like Jeno’s!) but it’s more baggy and folded at the hem. Nakabelt din siya ng black with a hoop ending (like Jeno’s ulit!) pero mas malaki ‘yong excess as it falls in his left (it’s probably the same belt and Jeno can just imagine how thin that waist is compared to his). He also wore a nude-colored beret. Nakablack bulky shoes din siya. There’s also a hint of makeup there.

“Sorry po late.” Renjun huffs. This is the first time Jeno sees Renjun after he fully admits that he likes the boy. He feels as if it’s their first time seeing each other and Jeno honestly doesn’t know how to react.

“Let’s go na para may magagandang seats pa,” Jaehyun says. “We’re gonna separate na though right after we get there. Our friends are there.”

“Okay,” Donghyuck extends the last syllable. “I’m excited! Ngayon lang ulit ako iinom.”

Honestly, medyo hindi pa rin maka-get over si Jaemin sa outfit ni Donghyuck.

“Jaem? You okay?” Donghyuck worriedly asks. Jaemin snaps out of it immediately.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Jaemin says. “You look so good. I love the semi crop top!”

“Hehe thanks.” Donghyuck grins. “I love the neon! Hindi ka na mawawala sa paningin namin.”

“That’s the point, actually. Baka maghasik ako ng lagim so you better watch after me,” banta ni Jaemin pero tumawa rin right after. “Charing lang.”

On the other hand, Jeno is still unsure of how to approach Renjun. _Shuta what should I do? Mahahalata niya kaya? Shit._

“Jen? How do I look?” Renjun asks. Medyo nagtwirl pa siya habang naglalakad sila. Medyo natapilok siya kaya kumapit siya kay Jeno right after.

“You look really good,” Jeno says and shows a thumbs up. _Thumbs up?! Ano ‘yon?!_

“Yie thanks! Parehas tayo ng pants at belt pala!” Renjun cheers. “Omg, soulmates!”

Medyo nabilaukan si Jeno. _Soulmates?! Siguraduhin mo ‘yan ha!_

“Jen? You okay?” Renjun asks, worried sa biglang pagubo ni Jeno.

“I’m okay. You just look so cute right now,” nagulat din si Jeno sa sinabi niya. _WTF Jeno?!_

Renjun laughs shyly. “We look so cute together. You’re black and blue and I’m yellow and blue! We should take a pic later.”

“Haha sure.” nilagay ni Jeno ang kamay niya sa batok niya.

Medyo long walk ‘yong papunta sa HereX. It’s their pre-game pa kasi. When they reach a certain quota (when they divide the receipt and they have more than 300 each, libre na ‘yong tickets sa the Ampersand. Nasa iisang establishment lang kasi ‘yong dalawa. Nasa may baba ‘yong HereX tas paakyat (on a red carpeted staircase!) ang Ampersand. Killing two birds with one stone. Charing.

After na-check ‘yong mga ID nila confirming na they’re above 18, pinapasok na sila. Pagkapasok, maraming nakita sila Donghyuck na mga kakilala nila, assumingly from UPB din.

“Hyuck! Omg, hi!” Bati ng isa sa mga nakaupo sa nadaanan nilang table.

“Daehwi! Omg! Andito kayo!” Nakipag-hug rin si Renjun sa mga kasama nila Daehwi. _So this is Daehwi._

“So, sino ‘tong mga cutie mong kasama?” Someone from their table says.

“Ah! This is Jeno.” Jeno waves. “Ito naman si Jaemin.” Nag-wave din si Jaemin. “Both from UPD taking their midyear here.” Donghyuck says.

“Hi! Welcome to Baguio!” others from the group say in unison.

“Kita kita na lang sa taas! Assuming na aakyat pa kayo,” Renjun laughs. “Hintayin namin kayo doon mamaya!”

After nilang makatakas sa grip ng grupo ni Daehwi (na pinainom pa sila ng tig-isang shot glass ng hindi sure na alak), nakahanap na rin sila ng table.

Medyo nag-away pa sila kung ano oorderin. Renjun wanted the ‘3 Cocktails + 1 Jose Cuervo’ bundle and Donghyuck wanted Jack Daniels. In the end, inorder nila ‘yong gusto ni Renjun pati nung kay Donghyuck. Magic.

They started their long night.

“Doyoung! Dito!” Someone says pagkapasok pa lang nila Doyoung sa HereX. Nasa may right side sila close to the billiards area. May couch sa place na napili nila.

“Kun! I missed you!” Niyakap agad ni Doyoung si Kun. “Hindi mo ako tinawagan nung bumaba ka!”

“Mabilis lang ako doon that time!” Tumawa si Kun. “Anyway, we ordered na, if you don’t mind. We know what you like naman.”

Umupo na sila, Doyoung beside Kun on the couch and Jaehyun right beside him. Nasa may chair sila Yuta and Taeil.

“Taeil! How’s your job?” Jaehyun asks right after magtagay ng Jose Cuervo. Medyo nagburn ‘yong throat niya dahil it’s been a while though subdued dahil sa lemon.

“Ugh, sobrang stressful.” Inabutan siya ni Yuta. “Just because I graduated in UP doesn’t mean I can do everything! Physics po ako! Bakit halos ako na ‘yong ginagawang social media manager?” After tumagay, binagsak ni Taeil ang mukha niya sa lamesa.

“Tell me about it,” sabi naman ni Yuta, habang kumukuha ng nachos. “I get it, mataas ang tingin niyo sa amin. Pero mars, hindi naman ata tamang ipagawa na sa amin halos lahat? Isang taon pa lang ako sa inyo.” Sinubo niya ito.

“These boomers talaga, ano?” sabi naman ni Doyoung.

Habang patuloy ang ikot kung sino na ang iinom, nagtanong si Taeil. “Ikaw ba, Doyoung? How’s your masters?”

“Kinakaya. Medyo insufferable ‘yong adviser ko pero keri naman. Parang ako lang,” natatawang sagot ni Doyoung pero biglang nanlaki mga mata niya. “Wait, that’s how I am with you guys? Jae,” bigla niyang tinignan si Jaehyun. “Why do you love me?”

Tumawa silang lahat. Sabay sabay na tumagay ang lima, Doyoung complaining after downing his shot.

“Kun, how’s job hunting?” Yuta asks after a while.

“Ugh tiring.” Kun whines. “Like, I’m still so unsure of what I want. Andami nang naset na interviews pero I don’t attend kasi I feel like I don’t want it. I just send it dahil kay Mama.” Kun pouts.

“Aw honey,” Taeil consoles. “Maybe tell her na ayaw mo pang magtrabaho? Like rest muna after graduating?”

Kun pouts again. “Honestly, medyo nahihiya ako. I mean, I graduated with Latin honors so it’s just normal na they expect na magtatrabaho ako agad.”

“Hindi ba pwedeng rest muna, gano’n? Your course is really hard din naman kasi.” Jaehyun says. “I am a witness of your breakdowns dahil kay Leithold na ‘yan. God, can I turn back time and kill him? Bwisit na TC7.”

“Ugh ‘di ba? Bakit ko ba kinuhang course ang Math at hindi ako nagshift?” Reklamo ni Kun.

Tumawa sila.

“Inis na inis sa course pero naggraduate with flying colors! Sana all!” Yuta exclaims. “Kung ‘di lang ako binagsak ni Sir Kim, which almost made me extend mind you, e ‘di sana I got that Latin honor! Pasok na nga sa GWA requirement pero sinira ng singko na ‘yan. Nabibwisit pa rin ako.”

“Speaking of which, marami ulit na-singko diyan.” Jaehyun says. “More than 7 freshies ang nagshift dahil sa kanya. Kawawa ang Department of Physics!” Tumawa siya.

“God, Jae! I forgot katrabaho mo na pala sila!” Sigaw ni Taeil. “Pakikutusan nga para sakin si Sir Lee! Pahirap sa buhay! Hindi ko makakalimutan tres ko sa kanya!”

Tumawa sila, now a little too loud.

“Gago sure! Kutusan ko na rin si Sir Kim para sa ‘yo, Yuta!” Malakas na sabi ni Jaehyun.

Patuloy pa silang nagkwentuhan, reminiscing their time together. Although sa ibang UP campus si Doyoung, they made sure na he’s still in the conversation.

Pagpatak ng alas diez, nagdecide na rin silang umakyat na sa the Ampersand, ready resume their inuman and dance in the wild sea of drunk people. Nandoon na rin daw pala ‘yong ibang friends nila. And Johnny is the DJ.

Medyo gumegewang na silang lima. Right after they paid for their drinks, agad silang umakyat. Doyoung is especially loud dahil naparami and Jaehyun is trying to stay a little less drunk because he has to watch over the four.

“Hoy! Dalian niyo! Doyoung ang bagal!” Sigaw ni Yuta. Nasa hagdanan na siya pero nasa baba pa rin sila Doyoung.

“Eto na! Sandali!” Sigaw niya pabalik.

Pumila sila dahil maraming hayok na hayok mag-party this night. Or dahil si Johnny and DJ and everybody knows he got good music. The already hyped bar becomes more than hyped bar when Johnny is behind the DJ booth!

Sa leeg nagpamarka ng The Ampersand logo si Yuta, claiming na he’s too tired to show his wrist whenever he goes out and back para automatic na.

Doyoung laughs, imitating Yuta. Sa left ng leeg niya siya nagpatatak, hopping a little on the table para maabot ng nagtatatak.

Napailing na lang si Jaehyun.

Pagkabukas ng bouncer ng pintuan, a gush of heat and loud music immediately struck Doyoung and Jaehyun. Things area about to get lit!

“Jaemin! It’s your shot!” Sigaw ni Donghyuck. Nakalahati na nila ‘yong Jose Cuervo and ubos na ‘yong tatlong pitcher ng timpladong gin. Punong-puno pa rin ‘yong Jack Daniels and Jeno is opening it.

“Sandali! Kakainom ko pa lang, ako ulit?” Reklamo ni Jaemin pero kinuha niya pa rin. They’ve been playing drinking games kakaupo pa lang nila.

“Okay! My turn,” lumunok si Donghyuck, making sure walang something sa lalamunan niya. “Never have I ever… kissed someone I don’t know!”

Silently, kumuha ng shot si Renjun and immediately downs it. Medyo may warmth na dumaloy kay Jeno, and he just knows it’s unpleasant. Pero ano’ng karapatan niya?

“Renjun?! You never told me about that!” Sigaw ni Donghyuck. “Why haven’t you told me?!”

“Hindi naman siya secret! Baka I forgot to tell you lang!” Depensa ni Renjun.

“Sino?! Do I know him?” Donghyuck asks, exasperated. “Or her?”

“Ih! Hiya ako,” he whines pero answers nonetheless. “It’s Hyunjin!”

“Eh? Medyo close naman na kayo?”

“I didn’t know him pa when we kissed. And like, it’s a dare! Wala namang ibang nangyari. Naging close na lang kami when we saw each other at school. Wala namang malisya.” Renjun defends.

Jeno felt relieved, somehow. But at least he knows Renjun is into guys.

“Anyway! My turn,” Renjun coughs. “Never have I ever… kissed a girl!”

Biglang nagdown ng shot si Jeno, looking away from the rest.

“Jeno?! Hindi ko rin alam ‘to!” Jaemin complains.

Jeno doesn’t know pero medyo nandilim ang paningin ni Renjun, and Jaemin saw that. _Hmm._

“It’s not a big deal. Dare lang din.” Jeno explains. “And it’s Seulgi.”

Renjun pouts, which Jaemin sees agains. _Uy may something._

“Wait, you’re straight?” Donghyuck suddenly asks. Medyo nanlaki din mata ni Renjun, anticipating. Jaemin sees that as well.

“No, no!” Tumawa si Jeno. “I’m bisexual! Pero more into guys, I guess.” He explains.

Renjun exhales, kind of relieved. Jaemin sees it again. _Hehehe pwede ka ata Jen!_

“Jeno, it’s your turn!” Donghyuck cheers. Siya na rin nag-pour ng newly opened Jack Daniels sa shot glass nila. “Sino kaya unang iinom nito?” He mysteriously says.

“Never have I ever… held someone’s hand.” Jeno smirks. They all have to drink one.

“Oy madaya! Sino pa ba hindi nakakahawak ng kamay ng iba?” Reklamo ni Renjun.

“Meron din! Pero you all have to drink.” Jeno says, already holding the shot glass to drink.

The other three groan pero excitedly drinks their own shots. _Jack Daniels taste so good pa rin talaga._

“Anyway, iba naman! Medyo boring na ‘to.” Donghyuck exclaims. “Ano pa ba pwedeng games para maubos na rin ‘to so we can go upstairs na?”

“Most likely!” Jaemin excitedly says. “May magsasabi ng something outrageous and ituturo natin kung sino sa tingin natin ‘yong most likely na gumagawa ng something na ‘yon! Tapos kung sino may pinakamaraming turo, iinumin niya ‘yong inumin ng mga nagturo sa kanya! Para mabilis na rin maubos ‘to.”

“Oooh! Bet!” Renjun giddily shouts. “Una ako!”

Nilagyan na nila ng JD mga shot glass nila.

“Most likely to… fart in public!” Natatawang sabi ni Renjun.

Tinuro ni Jaemin si Jeno. Tinuro naman ni Renjun si Donghyuck. Tinuro ni Jeno si Jaemin. Tinuro ni Donghyuck si Renjun. So basically, nagturuan lang sila.

“Ay!” Tumawa silang apat. “Ibig sabihin ba nito iinom tayong apat?”

Sabay sabay na tumagay ang apat, faces grimacing from the strong aftertaste of the liquor. Naglemon and salt din sila.

“Ako na!” Jaemin says. “Gawin nating medyo erotic or sexual para cute. G ba?” Tumango silang lahat. “Okay. Most likely to… grind on someone they don’t know!”

Tinuro ni Jeno at Jaemin si Dongyuck. Tinuro naman ni Renjun at Donghyuck si Jaemin.

“Hoy!” Sabay na sigaw nina Donghyuck at Jaemin pero uminom pa rin sila. Tig-dalawang shots.

“Okay! My turn!” Donghyuck singsongs. “Most likely to… make out with a person they just met?”

All fingers point at Jaemin. Sa gulat, hindi na nakaturo si Jaemin.

“Hoy! That’s not true!” Depensa ni Jaemin. “Siyempre after a day gano’n” Tumawa silang apat. “Wait, I have to drink three shots? Ano ba ‘yan” He extends the last syllable.

The three cheer as Jaemin tries his best to down the shots, Donghyuck helping Jaemin by shoving the lemon dipped in salt on his mouth after every shot.

“Puta! I can’t feel my throat!” Tumawa silang apat. “Pang-ilan ko na ba ‘to? Dahil andami kong ininom, kahit tig-iisa lang kayo! Dali!”

Medyo naawa ang apat kaya as good team players, nag-shot na rin sila.

Naglaro pa sila hanggang naubos ‘yong last bottle of JD. Dahil si Jeno ang medyo ‘less drunk’ sa apat, siya na muna ang nagbayad as the others try their best to stand up and walk. Inalalayan niya muna si Renjun kahit medyo nahihilo na siya. Hinawakan niya si Renjun on his waist, which Renjun leans to. Nakahawak na rin siya kay Jeno to support his weight. _Future boyfriend duties hehe._

Sa kabila naman, halos hirap na hirap alalayan ni Donghyuck si Jaemin. The latter had the most drinks and it’s boggling na hindi pa nasusuka ‘tong isa.

The walk upstairs is the hardest thing Jeno experienced in his whole life, hindi pa ‘yong oral exam as finals ng Ethics class niya.

He’s already very tipsy himself, pero he also has to take care of three drunk gays din.

Inuna niya munang inakyat si Renjun while Donghyuck and Jaemin sit on the lowest step sa staircase. Dahil halos magaalas onse na silang aakyat, hindi na nila kailangang pumila. Jeno has to carry Renjun dahil halos matapilok na siya and Jeno will never forgive himself if he injures Renjun.

Medyo hindi naman na drunk sa Renjun but very tipsy na lang. He knows his words pa and he can stay still, he just has to lean into something. Pinaupo niya muna si Renjun sa may lowest step ng hagdanan papunta sa second level, which is more for the richer people. Hindi sila doon pupunta.

Bumaba siya to fetch the other two, who are laughing so hard right now. Nakalean si Jaemin kay Donghyuck habang tawang tawa about something Jeno isn’t really curious to know.

“Hoy let’s go. Stand up na.” Inalalayan ni Jeno ang dalawa. Isasabay na niyang iakyat. Hindi na niya kayang bumaba ulit para sa isa if ever. _Hoy! Lasing din ako puta kayo._

“Gago ‘tong si Jaemin! Flat daw pwet ko. Nagsalita! Mas flat pwet niya.” Natatawang reklamo ni Donghyuck habang nakaakbay kay Jeno. Medyo gumewang pa sila at muntik nang mahulog.

“Umayos nga kayo!” utas ni Jeno. Tawa pa rin nang tawa ‘tong dalawa and like, ano’ng nakakatawa?

Medyo worried na si Jeno dahil iniwan niya si Renjun sa taas and he can’t immediately go back dahil sa dalawang ‘to. _Shit. Bad move._

“Bilis! Naiwan ko si Renjun sa taas!” Mas binilisan ni Jeno alalayan ‘yong dalawa. Thankfully, nagcomply naman sila this time around.

Pagkarating sa tuktok, a gush of relief spreads over Jeno’s body. Renjun is leaning on the wall, eyes trying hard to stay awake. Nakaupo pa rin siya sa may last step, swaying a little.

Dumeretso na sila Jaemin sa pagpapatatakan para makapasok na. Pinuntahan muna ni Jeno si Renjun, who perks and jumps when he sees the boy approaching him.

“Yey! Ang tagal niyo! Kuya Johnny is the DJ pala tonight!” Renjun throws his arm around Jeno. “Let’s go!”

Medyo nahimasmasan na si Renjun when he waited there and Jeno is kind of relieved. After nilang matatakan, pumasok na rin sila. Thankfully, Donghyuck and Jaemin waited for them by the door, snickering on their own again.

Sobrang hype sa loob. Johnny, Jeno assumes as the DJ, shouts, his voice reverberating all over the place. Medyo cramped na sa loob but no one would expect an empty bar, right?

“Donghyuck!” Renjun shouts near the boy’s ear. “Saan tayo uupo?”

“Ha?” Nilapit pa ni Donghyuck ang tenga niya.

“Saan tayo uupo!” Renjun repeats, louder.

“Ah! Nasa may likuran daw sila Daehwi! Want to visit them?”

“Sure! Let’s go!” Hinili ni Renjun si Jeno, who complies. Sobrang overwhelmed si Jeno tonight. If Renjun is clingy in daily life, he’s here, tenfold. It’s not good for Jeno’s wellbeing, especially now that he has just admitted that he liked the other.

Daehwi and his friends are seated sa may couch area at the back. When he spots them, nagsigawan silang lahat, including Renjun. Nagtinginan na lang sina Jaemin at Jeno.

“Omg! Hyuck! Come here!” Someone from their table shouts.

“Yeri! Omygod!” Tumakbo si Hyuck paikot para yakapin si Yeri. “Been so long!”

May inabot na baso ‘yong isang kasama nila kaya Renjun, which he receives, to Jeno’s dismay. Jeno stops Renjun. Medyo nagulat si Renjun doon.

“Don’t just accept drinks from others,” he says.

“But I know him,” Renjun pouts.

“Okay. You decide,” Jeno says, cold. Hindi niya gets kung bakit medyo naiinis siya.

“Okay, I won’t drink it. Pero libre mo ‘ko Smirnoff,” Renjun bets. Binaba na niya ‘yong drink somewhere sa table nila Daehwi and latches himself onto Jeno.

“Of course.” Jeno smiles. _Pinagbigyan ako?! I was being unreasonable, though?!_

Medyo nagstay pa sila, chatting with the other boys. Drunk hormonal teenagers.

“Hwi! Punta kami sa may bar! See you later!” Renjun shouts, hugging Daehwi and waving at the others.

The four immediately goes, excited to drink again. Pagkarating sa may bartender, biglang napasigaw ‘yong dalawa.

“Mark! Hi! Omg!” Donghyuck shouts, kind of jumping over the table pero fails kasi medyo mataas siya.

“Hyuck! Long time no see!” Mark (?) beams after turning around. Something in Jaemin’s stomach surges. _So this is Mark, huh. Bakit ang gwapo?! Ano’ng laban ko dito?!_

“Mark!” Renjun preens. “This is Jeno! From UPD.” He introduces. Nag-wave at smile si Jeno and Mark sends the same.

“And this is Jaemin!” Hyuck shouts. Nag-wave lang si Jaemin and offered a tight smile. He’s just too overwhelmed na ‘yong someone he treats as competition e as gorgeous as this man. Medyo type niya rin sana kung wala lang history with the boy he likes as of now.

“So, what can I make for you tonight?” Mark asks loud.

The four simultaneously give their orders, Jeno ordering for Renjun. When Mark gives Renjun his Smirnoff, the latter receives it with a little dance. He smiled before taking a sip.

“Jeno! Thanks bb!” Renjun continues to sip from the bottle with little cute dance moves, unaware of everything that exploded in Jeno’s insides because of the endearment. _Renjun huhu for the love of god our lord, please stop. Hindi ko kinakaya huhu._

Malapit lang sa bar ang mismong stage ng DJ, which means that the four are really close to the front of the party. In front of the DJ’s small booth e isang small stage. The height barely levels with the mid thigh. On the back is the VIP table, mostly occupied by rich foreigners. This time, there are Koreans.

On the other hand, Hyuck is still talking to Mark as the latter prepares for their drinks. Nakapagilid sila para hindi naman maharangan ‘yong ibang oorder. Can’t make drunk, crazy teens get deprived of their alcohol.

Jaemin is out of place. Halos nawawala na ‘yong kalasingan niya dahil sa warzone in his head and insides. He’s definitely disheartened kasi it looks like the two broke up in good terms. Ito ‘yong medyo nakakawala ng confidence if you’re trying to pursue someone. You’re unsure of what their relationship stands after their break up kasi they dated, which means that they had feelings for each other. The next one will be conflicted kung ano ba ang current feelings nung isa para sa ex niya. And at this point, Jaemin cannot ask.

Pagkaabot ng drink niya, he just said his thanks and leaned on the bar, looking at the wild sea of people. Patuloy pa ring nag-uusap sina Hyuck at Mark, and they eventually laugh at each other. Sina Renjun and Jeno e pumunta na sea of people to dance, Jeno’s hand on the small of Renjun’s back. _Buti pa si Jeno. At least kahit papano may chance siya. Ako? How can I ever beat Mark? Mukhang sobrang close pa rin nila._

Maybe it’s just the emotions brought by the alcohol he’s had too much. It’s impossible for Donghyuck to just completely stay oblivious of Jaemin’s advances, unless the former is completely avoiding to think of that. Maybe Donghyuck is just not interested and even if he definitely sees Jaemin’s intentions, ayaw niyang i-acknowledge kasi friends lang naman.

_Too bad_ , Jaemin thinks, feeling warmth on his eyes. _I really like Donghyuck pero it doesn’t look like he will ever like me back._

As he sips on the remaining alcohol in his cocktail drink, he sees his mouth quiver. _Damn this alcohol!_

“Jaem?” Donghyuck starts Jaemin out of his reverie. “You okay?”

“Ha?” Umayos si Jaemin. Nilunok na muna niya ‘yong lump on his throat. “Yeah, why?”

“Let’s dance! Nandoon na sila Jeno!” Hinila niya si Jaemin, as the other tries to put the cup on the counter of the bar. When he does, he shares a look with Mark. He doesn’t understand what the look is for.

Anyway, nasa may pinakaharap sina Jeno at Renjun. Jeno makes sure he’s always on Renjun’s back but not close enough for his body to actually touch the other’s. Ayaw niyang sayawan ng iba si Renjun. Nope. Not a chance.

Renjun dances, a bottle of Smirnoff on his right hand. Mayroon din kay Jeno.

“Dance with me, Jen! Don’t just stay still!” Hinarap ni Renjun is Jeno. Medyo magkadikit na sila dahil sa siksikan ng drunk people dancing. Renjun pouts when Jeno does nothing. “Please. I’m feeling awkward if you just stand there.”

Tumawa muna si Jeno. He sips from his bottle and starts to dance, although little moves lang. Renjun lights up, dancing even more hyper. Bigger moves na ‘yong dance niya, laughing even more.

As if on cue, Troye Sivan’s Fools starts to play. Renjun perks, spilling some of his drink because he just took a sip. “Oh my god, Jen! This is my favorite song! This is why I love Kuya Johnny so much!”

The whole room cheers as DJ Johnny hypes the crowd with his own version of the song. Renjun is full on jumping and dancing to the beat of the song. Jeno chuckles and follows. They don’t even care anymore if they spill their drinks. Jeno puts his hands over Renjun’s shoulder as the latter pulls his body closer to Jeno. They are jumping, singing, and laughing together. 

As they do, biglang may lalaking humawak sa bewang ni Renjun. Magkaharap na kasi sina Jeno and Renjun so someone behind Renjun took a chance. Jeno’s eyes catch the hands and immediately snatches Renjun closer to him, shooing the guy. The guy thankfully takes the hint so no commotion is necessary. But Renjun feels the way Jeno snatches him closer. They’re closer, but now the closest they have ever been. Their faces just a little over an inch close.

Over the loud music, Jeno hears Renjun’s breaths, sees the way Renjun’s eyes scan his face. Jeno swears Renjun feels the loud beating of his drums. Everything that’s going on inside his mind, and all the butterflies going haywire in his insides, Jeno feels suffocated. The loud music, the moving sea of people, the sporadic strobe lights, everything is just too much. Over everything, there is only one thing clear.

Habang nakatingin pa rin sa mga mga mata ni Jeno, he sees Renjun nod. And he goes in.

Jeno takes his time. Unti-unti, inilapit ni Jeno ang mukha niya habang nakatingin pa rin kay Renjun. The other boy seems restless so Renjun meets Jeno halfway.

And in that moment, as the ever hyper crowd continue to bop over the booming music, Jeno and Renjun stood there with their lips sealed.

Like it’s just the two of them there. No loud music. No other people. Just them in their own little world. Just them, together.

Jeno feels like the happiest boy in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jaehyun’s character is actually derived from a real teacher! he’s gay AND good looking tapos may jowa rin?? (i mean,,, speculations lang namin HAHAHA).
> 
> pansin naman kung sino ang lakwatsa nang lakwatsa habang nag-aaral HAHAAHAH 
> 
> and our profs sometimes drink with us din. pero siyempre tame lang,,, and secretly,, hindi rin naman sila nagtatagal,, basta ayon,,
> 
> so ayon,, thoughts? comments? suggestions?


	3. Mistakes, I've Got A Few (Thousand)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeno overthinks and misunderstands.  
>  jaemin weighs whether to give up or not and accidentally meets mark.  
>  doyoung and jaehyun find their relationship in rocky waters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so overwhelmed by your responses on this fic! huhu i know it’s not a lot but it means the world to me,, please continue on supporting this fic,,, pretty please,,, hehe  
>  medyo nahirapan din akong isulat ito,,, sobra kong nicontemplate kung masyado bang mabilis ang happenings o masyadong mabagal kaya medyo nastuck ako,,, i just hope na the direction i’m going for is not too fast but not too slow for you guys,, thank you!!  
>  i’m sorry this update took soooo long,,, i had issues i had to attend first,, but i hope you still enjoy :))  
>  chapter title from epik high (ft. lee hi) – here come the regrets

The kiss was a mistake. It was just a spur of the moment thing. They were intoxicated and at that moment, it just felt right. A one-time thing. ‘Yon lang ‘yon.

Renjun just felt like kissing at that moment. And Jeno as well. So they did. Wala ng ibang rason.

But the kiss felt so good, so right. Like it was the very thing that Jeno needed. They had a connection, a real, physical connection that was far from platonic. Like it was what was lacking in Jeno’s life. Does Renjun feel the same?

No, of course not. There’s now way that kissed meant more than anything. It’s just a kiss. Dalawang bibig na nagdikit. Bakit pa bibigyan ng ibang meaning?

Wala pang dalawang linggo sila nagkakilala. They don’t even know each other. Ni hindi nga alam ni Jeno kung ano ang favorite color ni Renjun (ang alam niya e bright colors but not really the specific color). Hindi pa nga sila lumabas sa kahit anong lugar na silang dalawa lang. Hindi pa nga sila nagstay sa isang lugar na hindi kasama sina Donghyuck at Jaemin. He’s just reading too much into it.

Sure, he likes the guy. But the other probably does not. He’s just naturally clingy and has the tendency to invade someone’s personal space if he feels comfortable around the person and he feels like the other is comfortable around him too. It’s not necessarily “having” romantic feelings. Marami siyang kilalang clingy as a person pero wala namang other motives. Take Jaemin as an example.

Well, Jeno has already admitted that he likes Renjun. But that’s a special case. Jeno just realized na he’s love-starved which he just masked under edginess, stored in a dam and locked in the crevices of his heart. When he met Renjun, that dam was yanked open kaya siya nagkakaganyan. But that doesn’t necessarily mean na gano’n din si Renjun.

He’s just probably rushing it. It’s his first time liking someone.

But really, Renjun nodded as consent for the kiss. In that particular moment, medyo overwhelmed lang sila sa mga pangyayari. Some drunk guy groped Renjun and Jeno just calmly told the guy to fuck off. They were intoxicated with liquor and given na rin na magkadikit ang mga balat nila in that exact moment, with some shot of adrenaline, kissing just felt right.

It probably means nothing.

Bakit ba kasi ginagawang big deal ni Jeno ang halik na ‘yon?

It’s a Saturday morning. Faint, muffled sounds of the heavy droplets of the rain gently reverberate around. Four bodies are splattered all over the place, on two mattresses laid on the floor.

Jeno groans, inaayos ‘yong katawan sa hindi magandang pagkahiga. Unti-unti niyang binuksan ang mata niya. It’s really cold, he notes. Sobrang lamig na rin ng mukha niya at mga kamay niya. Habang nakahiga pa rin, he tilts his head to look outside, by the drawn curtains. Medyo shocked siya na umuulan. It’s probably mid-morning, and it’s colder because it’s raining.

Slowly, Jeno gets up, stretching in the process. He yawns, cracking his neck, pleased of the sounds it made.

Tinignan niya ang mga kasama niya. They are still in their clothes they wore last night. Medyo natawa siya nang nakita niyang medyo smudged ang make up ni Donghyuck. He probably feels really cold, seeing as to how his blanket is failing to cover the exposed skin on Donghyuck’s stomach. Inayos ni Jeno.

Jaemin is flat on his face. Ever since, mahilig sa ganitong sleeping position si Jaemin. Medyo worried si Jeno every time he sees Jaemin in this position kasi nakakahinga pa ba siya? Paano kapag hindi na ‘to gumising one day? Pero nagigising naman.

Then his eyes start to flit over Renjun’s sleeping body. He’s in a fetal position, everything covered by a blanket (Jeno’s!). Nasa pareho silang mattress while the other two are in the other. Nahulog na rin ‘yong beret ni Renjun, nasa may sahig na. But seeing Renjun defenseless, calm, and steady makes Jeno want to punch something. _Too cute! Bakit sobrang cute?! Tulog lang pero sobrang cute pa rin?!_

Wait, why are the four together?

It was already 1 in the morning.

Renjun was safely tucked on Jeno’s back, his face buried on the latter’s neck, fast asleep. Inayos ni Jeno ang pagkakabuhat niya kay Renjun habang tumingin tingin sa paligid, hoping to find the other boys. The music was still booming pero iba na ‘yong DJ. Marami pang sumasayaw although noticeable na marami na ring umupo na. The couches on the side of the dance floor as well as the high tables were still occupied by many who had just started their nights, but there were vacant ones, unlike when they had just entered the club.

Nagmurmur ng konti si Renjun but resumed his sleep afterwards, making Jeno chuckle a little. They were already drunk but Jeno made sure he was at least not too smashed because he decided he’d take care of the other three.

While Renjun was already very drunk, after they went upstairs, mas marami pa siyang nainom. It’s like he let himself loose because he knew someone was going to take care of him. Good choice, though.

Habang buhat pa rin ang natutulog na binata sa likod niya, Jeno took bigger strides para mahanap na ang dalawa. Nasa bag niya kasi ‘yong phone niya, e iniwan nila ‘yon sa baggage counter. _Tsk. Asan na ba ‘yong dalawang ‘yon?_

Ilang minuto na rin ang nakalipas at medyo nabibigatan na si Jeno kay Renjun. Hindi naman mabigat ‘yong binata, pero medyo lasing din si Jeno so it’s quite a hassle. The world was kinda shaking pa rin.

He decided to look for them by the couches.

Renjun was slipping kaya tumigil muna siya. His shoulders were kind of fatigued na rin kaya binaba niya muna. As he did, biglang may tumawag sa kanya.

“Jeno! Here!” Someone called, startling Jeno. Muntik na niyang masampal si Renjun dahil binababa niya pa lang. Buti na lang at hindi. He would have never forgiven himself.

Hinanap niya ‘yong boses. It was hard, actually. Maingay pa rin sa buong club at marami ring sumasayaw pa. Thankfully, inulit nung nagsalita at nahanap niya si Doyoung.

“Kuya!” Inalalayan ni Jeno si Renjun, this time pinaakbay niya sa kanya. He immediately went to Doyoung’s table, who scooted to give them space. Naghello din siya sa mga kasama nila.

“Kuya! Thank God,” Jeno huffed. “Hinahanap ko sila Jaem and I can’t find them anywhere.”

“Oh? Alis na kayo?” Jaehyun asked after drinking a shot.

“Sana. Renjun’s asleep na. I’m tired. I don’t know where the two went.” Jeno answered, leaning on the couch after he successfully put Renjun down.

“Iwan mo muna si Renjun dito,” Taeil suggested. “So you can find them easily.”

“Ooh! Okay, I will. Thanks Kuya—” he dragged the last syllable, subtly trying to ask for the name. He forgot, sorry.

“Taeil.” He smiled. Jeno nodded, remembering. Nameet na niya noon when Doyoung brought them in their house.

“Try to look for them sa restroom. They’re probably there,” Kun suggested.

Jeno nodded. Standing up not before thanking the others.

Tinahak na ni Jeno ang papunta sa restroom. Medyo malapit lang ‘yong couch nila Doyoung doon kaya at least hindi na mahabang lakaran.

Maraming mga nakapilang babae, like always. He wondered why women’s restrooms are the same size with men’s kasi women definitely should have bigger ones? Kasi mas mahirap umihi? And as a result, sobrang tagal bago pa sila makaihi.

Dahil hindi naman mahaba ang pila sa mga restroom for men, pwede namang sumilip nang kaunti. He did, and became disappointed nang hindi niya nakita ang dalawa. _Nasaan na ba kayo?!_

At this point, sobrang inip na inip na si Jeno. He just wanted to close his eyes and sleep for a week! Naging taga-alaga tuloy!

Lumabas siya sa club, hoping na andoon na talaga ‘yong dalawa.

And thank God! Nakaupo sa pinakahuling step ang dalawa. Donghyuck had his head on Jaemin’s shoulder while Jaemin was on his phone.

“Jaem! Kanina ko pa kayo hinahanap!” Sigaw ni Jeno, actually startling himself when he heard how loud his voice was. _Sorry, hehe. Galing sa loob._

Agad na tumingin si Jaemin sa direksyon niya. “Jeno! Where were you?! Kanina pa kita tinatawagan!” Inalalayan ni Jaemin si Donghyuck patayo.

“Naiwan ko phone ko sa bag.” Jeno said. “Wait here. Kunin ko na lang si Renjun. Nasa kanila Kuya Doie siya.”

Bumalik na siya, briskwalking kasi hindi niya pa kayang tumakbo. The world was still kind of spinning.

When he reached their table, agad siyang nagpaalam.

“Kuya, una na kami. I found them na.” Jeno took Renjun by the hand. Medyo naalimpungatan rin ang binata but Jeno just slightly shushed the boy and he went right back to sleep. He placed the boy back in a piggyback.

“Saan na kayo? Sila Renjun?” Jaehyun asked.

This made Jeno think. “Dalhin na lang kaya namin sila sa bahay?”

“Good idea. Wala naman kayong ibang gagawin sa kanila ‘no?” Doyoung teased.

“Kuya!” Saway ni Jeno. “Kayo? Saan kayo if ever?”

Nagkatinginan sina Doyoung at Jaehyun. “Well, baka matagalan pa kami dito. But probably on my room.”

“Sa sala na lang kaming apat.”

After that, nagpaalam na rin sila. Jeno promised that he would go out with them anytime this week because he missed them as well.

Medyo hiningal ulit si Jeno. Pero after a while, a very challenging journey pababa, nakarating na sila sa may entrance ng The Camp.

Nasa may baba na ‘yong dalawa, Donghyuck on Jaemin’s back.

“Jaem! Sa bahay na lang natin sila dalhin?” Jeno said habang papalapit. “Sa sala tayong apat.”

Jaemin just nodded, his eyes on the road trying to hail a taxi.

On the way home, nasa shotgun seat si Jaemin. Donghyuck was behind the driver’s seat, Renjun beside him, and Jeno on the far right. While Renjun was leaning on Jeno’s left shoulder, Donghyuck was on Renjun’s.

Mabuti na lang at hindi traffic at nakauwi sila agad. Pagkatapos magbayad ni Jaemin, sinubukang gisingin ng dalawa ‘yong dalawa. Pero they were fast asleep. E di binuhat nila ulit kagaya kanina.

With heavy breaths, sabay na binaba nila Jeno ang dalawa sa couch. Sila na rin nagtanggal ng mga sapatos nila. Medyo basa dahil umulan pala while they were inside. Kinuha na rin nila ‘yong mga nakatambak na kama sa isang room na hindi nila ginagamit at ‘yong mga unan at kumot na ginagamit nila.

Tired and feeling heavy, kahit hindi pa nagpapalit, the four of them dropped on the floor.

Tomorrow not an issue.

Habang nakaupo si Jeno, still half-conscious at nakatitig sa kawalan, a voice speaks.

“Jeno,” Doyoung says, pulling the other back to reality. Nakatayo siya by the hall. Sa kaliwa niya kasi ang kitchen.

“Kuya. Gising ka na?” Jeno asks, yawning and stretching.

Doyoung laughs. “Obviously. Kumain na kayo?”

“Nah. Ako pa lang gising. Ba’t ang aga mong nagising? ‘Di ba mas late kayo umuwi?” Patayo na si Jeno, yawns now not as big as the first one. Inaayos na rin niya ‘yong kumot niya, careful not to wake a sleeping Renjun on his side.

“Body clock. Magluluto na ako. You want anything?” Doyoung asks, papunta na sa kitchen.

“Uhm,” Jeno thinks for a while. “Bacon and eggs? Baka gusto rin nila Jaem.”

“Jen, it’s lunch time,” natatawang sambit ni Doyoung. “I’ll just cook Igado. It’s easier to cook.”

“Okay.” Jeno drags the last syllable. “I’ll help.”

“No, it’s okay. Maligo ka na lang muna. You’re still wearing those clothes. Tsk. And prepare clothes for the other two boys na rin, if you want. It’s raining outside and I doubt may dala silang payong. Let them stay here muna.” Sambit ni Doyoung. Naglalabas na siya ng mga gulay galing sa ref.

Jeno hums. Tinignan niya muna ‘yong tatlong tulog na tulog pa rin. And when his eyes fall on Renjun, warmly tucked and peaceful, he feels warmth creep on his cheeks. _Hehe._

His lips feel warm. _Shuta. I remember the kiss huhu. What have you done to me, Renjun?_

Medyo dazed siyang naglalakad papuntang kwarto niya, recalling the sensation and the scenario when he had his first _real_ kiss. He has kissed others before but he doesn’t consider them to be anything more than platonic. But this one, _masyado nang kinikilig si Jeno para sabihin ‘yon._

He prepares his clothes, still trying to look for _edgy_ clothes kahit nasa bahay. _May bisita ihh._

He decides to just wear a white shirt under his favorite white hoodie with black lines on each sleeve extending to the wrist part and black jogging pants.

Pagkapasok sa banyo, medyo gulat si Jeno when he sees the stains on his blue jeans. It’s probably Renjun’s drink. Or his. Mahirap ‘tong maaalis. But it’s okay.

After niyang maligo at magpalit, naglabas na rin siya ng mga pwedeng maisuot ni Renjun. _Kay Hyuck kaya? Should I? Or si Jaem na lang? Haha._

Bago lumabas, sinuot na rin niya ang black horn-rimmed glasses niya, completing the edgy e-boy fantasy.

Pagkalabas niya, nagulat siya when he sees na tulog pa rin ‘yong tatlo. _Nakaligo na ako’t lahat lahat, tulog pa rin sila._

Dahil ayaw niyang mambulabog, dumeretso na lang siya sa kusina.

“Kuya, ‘di ka pa tapos?” Jeno asks. Nasa kusina pa rin kasi si Doyoung.

“Patapos na,” sagot ni Doyoung.

Jeno just hums, just standing there and watching his brother do the work.

“Kuya, tulog pa si Kuya Jae?”

“I don’t know,” his brother answers, a voice a little too snappy. _Ay, may something?_

“Wala sa kwarto mo? ‘Di ba sabi mo—”

Doyoung cuts Jeno off. “Let’s not talk about him. Just prepare the plates. And kung gising na ang mga kasama mo.”

Jeno doesn’t prod but he knows something must have happened. He just hums, pulling himself out of the kitchen. Medyo nakakatakot ang kuya niya kapag wala sa mood.

Pagkabalik niya, nakita niyang nakaupo na si Renjun while rubbing his eyes, yawning. Jeno automatically smiles. _Too cute!_

Tumigil siya by the hall. Honestly, hindi niya alam kung paano ang dapat na approach kay Renjun after what happened last night. Should he be cozy? Closer? Or normal? Wait, paano ang ‘normal’? How did he treat Renjun before last night? _Shet._

In the middle of his haze, Renjun calls his name. “Jeno! Good morning!” He greets while stretching. Inayos niya rin ang buhok niyang medyo iba’t iba na ang direksyon. His eyes are not yet fully opened rin.

Well, he’ll just act like normal, kahit hindi niya alam kung paano ‘yon.

“Hapon na, Renjun,” Jeno says, laughing. Naglakad na rin siya papunta sa sala.

“Oh?” Sambit ni Renjun, still half-conscious. Nakatitig lang siya sa isang lugar.

Tumawa na lang ulit si Jeno. Pagkalapit, tinulungan niyang ayusin ang pinaghigaan nila. Tumayo na si Renjun, stretching his hands and hips.

“Upo ka muna diyan, if you want.” Jeno suggests, finifold ang kumot. “Or gusto mo nang maligo?”

Tumango lang si Renjun. Jeno isn’t even sure kung ano ang sinagutan niya doon. Maybe the last one.

“My room is right over there, on your left. May CR din doon. I already laid some clothes you can use. Except underwear of course.” Sabi ni Jeno. Nodding, Renjun follows the other’s instructions, bumping the couch in the process.

“Careful,” Jeno chuckles.

After a while, ipinasok na rin ni Jeno ang kama sa dati nitong puwesto, sa kwartong hindi nila ginagamit. Pero hindi na muna niya ipinasok ang mga kumot at unan niya. Nasa loob si Renjun e. _Don’t want to see anything… yet hihi._

Pagkalabas sa kwarto, nakita niyang gising na rin ang dalawa. Nagaayos na din. Medyo natatawa si Jeno kasi sobrang haggard nila e siya fresh na fresh.

“Malapit nang matapos ‘yong niluluto ni Kuya. Freshen up,” Jeno says. “Jaem, pahiraman mo muna si Hyuck, okay lang?” Jaemin just nods.

Medyo matagal bago sila matapos magprepare lahat. Naglaro na lang din si Jeno ng isang online game on his phone while at the couch.

Naunang lumabas si Renjun, wearing Jeno’s clothes. And Jeno starts to feel butterflies. Kahit medyo fitted na ‘yong napiling damit ni Jeno, medyo kinakain pa rin si Renjun nito. It’s one of Jeno’s favorite hoodies and it looks the best when Renjun wore it. He has sweater paws! The jogging pants are also too big for Renjun pero buti na lang may strap. May excess pang nasa sahig habang naglalakad siya.

Renjun throws himself on the couch Jeno is currently sitting on. He also clings to Jeno’s left hand, kind of disrupting Jeno on his game.

“You hungry?” Jeno asks, trying to appear as calm as ever but in his mind, their kiss is being replayed over and over again. He feels warmth run all over his body, even in his nether regions. _Oops._

Renjun hums. “Ang sakit din ng ulo ko,” he whines. His face is buried on Jeno’s side now. Medyo basa rin ang buhok niya.

“Let’s just wait for the two para makakain na rin tayo. Kuya Doyoung went to bathe na rin.” Jeno says, closing his phone. “You wanna watch Netflix while we wait?”

Renjun perks at that, pulling his face out from Jeno’s side. “Yes please!” Dahil doon, medyo nagthrob ‘yong ulo niya, making him groan. Binalik na lang niya ulit ang ulo na sa bewang ni Jeno.

Jeno just laughs. He sets the TV up, browsing for a good series or movie.

“Jen, I think may Kimi no Nawa na. I want that,” Renjun says, voice muffled. He’s still on Jeno’s side.

He plays that. _Anything for Renjunnie._

Nanuod lang sila hanggang sa lumabas na rin ‘yong iba. Sa part na tinatahi ni Mitsuha on Taki’s body ang palda ni Okudera-senpai, biglang nagsalita si Doyoung.

“Guys, pause niyo muna ‘yan. Let’s eat. I’m starving,” Doyoung says.

Magkatabi sina Renjun and Jeno. Sa tapat naman nila e sina Donghyuck at Jaemin. Doyoung opts to sit where the father usually sits.

“Kuya Doie, sorry to impose,” Donghyuck apologizes. “We were too smashed to go home, I guess.” He rubs his nape.

“It’s okay,” Doyoung chuckles. “You’re not imposing, don’t worry. We like company.”

After that, they start to eat.

Jeno knows his brother is a good cook kaya hindi na siya masyadong namangha. But the others are.

“Ang sarap, Kuya! I didn’t know you cooked! And so good at it! This is definitely one of the best Igado I had,” Donghyuck exclaims.

“That’s too much of a compliment,” tumawa si Doyoung. “It’s Mom’s recipe so praise her, not me.”

Natawa rin si Jeno. They resume eating na parang hindi kumain ng isang araw. Sobrang focused and with big munches. Well, they’ve only had liquor from 11 until lunch time.

“Woah,” Renjun exclaims, sitting back. “Eating this while puro alak lang laman ng tiyan mo. Wonderful. Thanks, Kuya!” He even rubs his tummy. _Very endearing!_

Nang matapos na silang lahat kumain, Donghyuck and Renjun volunteer to wash the dishes, saying na it’s the least they could do. Pero Doyoung just shoos them away so they had no choice. _Baka gusto lang munang gawing busy ang sarili,_ Jeno thinks.

“So, since hindi makakauwi sila Hyuck for now,” Jaemin says, throwing himself on the mattress na hinigaan din nila. Hindi pa kasi naibalik, unlike Jeno and Renjun’s. “Ano’ng magandang gawin?”

“Tapusin muna natin ‘yong pinapanood namin ni Jen!” Renjun immediately says. Bumalik sila sa dati nilang posisyon. This time, Jeno leads the skinship, his left arm on Renjun’s back and the other situating himself on Jeno’s side. _Domestic hihi._

“Wait! Ulit! Hindi ko pa napanood ‘yan!” sigaw ni Donghyuck dahil ni-play lang ni Jeno ang panuod. Tumabi na rin siya kay Jaemin at pumasok na sa kumot.

So, they watch it all over again.

At some point, ang kumot ni Jeno na tinupi niya pero hindi pa naibalik sa kwarto e nakabalot na sa kanilang dalawa.

While watching, Jeno can’t help but think of his relationship with Renjun.

Surely, may progress naman na siguro ‘yong relationship nila, ‘di ba? It has just been more than a week when they met but Jeno already feels a lot of raw emotions he didn’t knew he had.

_Maybe it’s a little too fast_ , Jeno thinks. But it’s not like they’re rushing naman? Hindi naman gusto ni Jeno na maging sila na agad or maglagay na sila ng label sa relationship nila. That’s too fast. But at the very least, patungo naman na sila doon, ‘no?

He inwardly groans. Kaya ayaw niya ng ganito eh. This kind of emotional turmoil is what he hated to feel! Now he’s experiencing one. Great.

Everything’s biting him right his ass now. He’s a snob about anything related to romance. He doesn’t consume content about that kind of thing. Hell, he doesn’t _acknowledge_ them because he’s busy about other things. He even made a final paper about it! Ano ka ngayon, Jen? Now you don’t know what to do when a possible lifelong partner appeared in front of you!

He flinches when Renjun tapped his back.

“Jen? You still watching?” Renjun looks up from his position. Medyo nakausli na siya, closer to Jeno’s body. His head is on Jeno’s side and he’s clutching one of their pillows. ‘Yong kumot na una’y nakatakip sa kanilang dalawa e sinolo na ni Renjun.

Jeno hums, shifting his gaze to the TV screen. Tumatakbo na si Taki on Mitsuha’s body paakyat doon sa may crater mountain (?) dahil kakahulog ng bisekleta. _Oh, the drama part._

Pero he’s still very much deep in his thoughts.

Sa totoo lang, takot pa rin si Jeno. At this point, late bloomer siya sa mga bagay na ganito. He literally didn’t bat an eye on people who showed interest in being his lover (truth be told, Jaemin liked him at one point). He was too busy drowning himself in his academics, partnered by the fact that he put so much unnecessary pressure on himself just to prove others wrong about who he really is, how he’s so much more than that _freaking_ milk commercial.

He’s scared kasi what if this is not it? What if he’s just too overwhelmed with these new, raw feelings and he’s mistaking it as this so-called crush or love or whatever? Lust? Love? Infatuation? Attraction? Ano ba dito? How are they different from each other?

You see, Jeno doesn’t think that he overcalculates on things. Hindi naman kasi talaga siya ‘overthinker’ dahil hindi naman necessary ‘yon on scenarios he’s experienced before. Sakto lang. What he thinks is the best, go. Hindi pa naman siya nabigo or whatnot.

So, why is he stressing so much? Go with the flow na lang ba ulit? Kagaya ng usual demeanor niya on different scenarios?

Pero kasi, this is not something that Jeno is really familiar with. Kasi in those situations, at least Jeno knows how it feels when they don’t go the way he expects them to. At least at one point of his life, nasubukan na niya ‘yong mga ‘yon. But this? It’s an entirely new territory. And like before, he’s afraid.

He doesn’t want this to fail. He doesn’t want their relationship to downgrade. He knows he wants to keep this. That is if Renjun also wants to.

He’s gonna try.

Patapos na ang pelikula nang maibalik ni Jeno ang isip niya sa realidad. Umiiyak na pala ang mga kasama niya. Jeno knows this film is tear-jerking pero ‘di siya naiyak when he first watched it.

“Puta,” Jaemin sniffs. “Kahit ilang beses ko na ‘tong napanood naiiyak pa rin ako.”

“Same,” sambit ni Donghyuck, pinupunasan niya ang mata niya.

Jeno shifts his gaze towards the boy on his left. He’s definitely crying. Pinipilit niyang itago pero halata naman ‘yong paghinga niya. Natawa si Jeno.

“Bakit ka tumatawa?” Renjun rises, wiping his still-crying eyes. “This is one of the films that always make me cry. And it’s really sad!” Pinunasan niya ‘yong luha niya.

“Okay,” Jeno just says. It’s not that tear-jerking. But you do you.

Mahinang hinampas ni Renjun si Jeno.

After a while, when the three settled down, Jaemin spoke.

“I hope I find my soulmate na,” he says. “Sana destined kami para sa isa’t isa, gano’n. Ta’s magiging maganda ‘yong takbo ng relasyon namin.”

“Same,” Donghyuck exclaims, slowly leaning back.

Medyo tinignan siya ni Jaemin pero umiwas din agad.

Nagbrowse lang sila sa Netflix. Dahil account ni Jaemin ang nakabukas, puro romance ang nasa recommended. Jeno rolls his eyes pero naisip niya na baka watching these videos will help him understand romance in itself.

Jeno looks at Renjun. Nahihiya pa siyang ibring up ‘yong kiss. Siguro kapag silang dalawa na lang.

“Kailan kaya ako magkaka-first real kiss?” biglang sabi ni Renjun. “Like the one that will give me butterflies, gano’n. ‘Yong parang may fireworks kahit wala naman.”

Jeno’s heart broke.

He stopped listening to whatever they talked about after that.

Dapat no’ng una pa lamang, ‘di na siya umasa. Stupid Jeno. He fell under an intense emotional turmoil pero in the end, hindi rin naman pala kino-consider as valuable. Just a passing kiss. An in-the-moment thing that should not be even thought of afterwards. There and then. Of less importance. Bakit pa aalalahanin?

_Ang sakit naman pala ng ganito,_ Jeno thinks. _I really set myself, huh._

It just hurts. Jeno still doesn’t have the word that best describes it. _It’s not like it’s the end of the world._

In retrospect, masyado rin sigurong minadali ni Jeno. Pero everything came like a hurricane e. One time, Jeno was just busy being the e-boy that he is then another time, biglang bibigyan siya ng ganito? How is he supposed to handle it?

It just hurts. He expected kasi. He thought about everything so many times. He went under so much thinking. He would have loved to pursue something. He would have loved to have a special relationship with the first person he liked. He would have loved to have something great.

But let’s face it. If Jeno meant something, even a tad bit something, as a potentional lover for Renjun, the kiss would have meant a little something. Kahit 1% lang sana. But that’s wishful thinking.

For Jeno, the kiss meant everything.

For Renjun, it wasn’t even considered real.

He’s not gonna lie. Even if he knows what he’s trying to enter, it still hurts. Nagreready pa lang siyang sumabak, talo na agad.

He was so happy kanina. He got his hopes up for nothing. It’s just like when someone promised you something that you’ve been looking forward to tapos biglang nakalimutan nila. Or in this case, hindi maalalang ni-promise nila ‘yon sa ‘yo. Like what Kameron Michaels must have felt on Drag Race when no queen chose her as who they think would win.

Disappointed siya. Nagpapalpitate na rin. Bumibilis ang hininga pero sinusubukan niyang ibalik sa dati. _Sayang._

He’s trying his best not to reflect it on his face but he knows he’s failing miserably. He feels hollow yet overwhelmed. His palms are sweating. His lips are protruding. His brows are furrowing. His tongue is pressed on the roof of his mouth. But he’s trying his best not to show it.

He blinks the warmth in his eyes. Everything is just very overwhelming and he’s failing to find how to address it. Why is he even feeling this way? Alam niyang disappointed siya pero parang sobrang over-the-top naman ng physiological response niya? _Puta._

“Jeno, what do you think—” Jaemin stops himself midway. “Jeno? You okay?”

Jeno just looks at him and nods. Baka mapiyok if he speaks.

“You sure? Are you sick?” Jaemin says. Napatingin si Renjun kay Jeno. _Ugh no don’t look at me._

“Jen?” Umayos ng upo si Renjun. “You’re shaking.”

Jeno musters the courage the speak. “I’m okay. CR lang ako.”

Not waiting for an answer, he jumps from his seat, rushes towards his room, and locks it.

He’s not gonna cry. He’s a grown man who can handle disappointments. He’s not gonna cry dahil lang hindi kino-consider na ‘real’ ‘yong isang bagay na sobrang naaalala niya pa rin hanggang ngayon. Ano siya, bata? Ayaw niya lang makita nila siyang ganito kasi kahit siya, ayaw niyang makita ang sarili niyang ganito.

Warmth covers his eyes but he smiles even if no one sees.

He’s not gonna cry.

For the first time this midyear, Jaemin wakes up before his alarm. He even surprises himself to the point na natawa siya. Last week kasi, halos on the dot or after the second snooze siya bumabangon. _Progress. Charot._

He picks up his towel from the rack and went inside the bathroom. _I get to take my time. Charot ulit._

After niyang maligo at magbihis, umupo muna siya sa kama, thinking of his life decisions.

Should he really give up na? Sabi nga ni Donghyuck even before, ang gusto niya e ‘yong kapareha niya ng field dahil he doesn’t think na they’d click kapag hindi. He’s also totally oblivious of Jaemin’s advances (or was he just playing dumb kasi ayaw niya talaga kay Jaemin?). _Ugh. So many thoughts._

Dahil medyo maaga pa, he decides na magbreakfast sa Jollibee sa tabi ng Victory Liner. Pagkalabas niya sa kwarto, saktong lumabas din si Jeno. Natawa silang dalawa.

“Hoy,” Jeno greets while laughing.

“Bakit ang aga mo rin?” Sagot ni Jaemin habang tumatawa.

“Nagising ako e. Sa’n ka?” Jeno says as they both start to walk.

“Jollibee tayo,” Jaemin says.

“Sure.”

Pagkalabas nila sa bahay, medyo may hamog pa. Umulan kagabi kaya nagdala sila ng payong. Thankfully, hindi maulan ang umaga, though the floor is wet. Maalimuom din.

Medyo kinakaya na ng stamina nila ang paakyat sa Upper Eng Hill pero medyo hiningal pa rin sila. As a taga-baba na mostly patag ang daan, this is a big _culture_ thing. Charot.

They choose to sit sa second floor, malapit sa glass windows overlooking the road. Mahamog pa kasi kaya it adds to the serenity of the morning. It’s 9 in the morning kaya may isang oras pa sila bago magsimula ang klase.

Umorder ng Breakfast Chicken Joy with Hot Choco si Jeno habang si Jaemin naman ay Longganisa at Coffee.

Habang kumakain, medyo inisip ni Jaemin kung ano’ng nangyari kay Jeno last Saturday. That was really out of the blue. Kahit pagkalabas niya sa kwarto e bumalik na siya sa dati, that was still super weird.

“Jen, if you don’t mind me asking, an’yare sa ‘yo last Saturday?” Jaemin says, sipping from his cup.

“Ha?” Tumingin sa kanya si Jeno.

“You know, noong bigla ka na lang naging weird or some shit,” utas ni Jaemin. “’Yong pumunta ka pa sa kwarto mo.” Dagdagan niya noong nakita niyang kumunot ang noo ni Jaemin.

“Ah. Wala lang naman,” nagiwas ng tingin si Jeno.

“You sure? Hindi naman kita pinipilit sabihin. I’m just worried,” nagpatuloy kumain si Jaemin.

Hindi nagsalita si Jeno ng ilang minuto. Nakatitig lang siya sa pagkain niya.

“Okay, I’m telling you. Pero hindi mo pwedeng sabihin sa iba,” Jeno warns. “And don’t be weird about it!” Tinutukan pa niya ng tinidor.

Bahagyang natawa si Jaemin. “Napaka-OA! Siyempre hindi. Ano ka ba.”

Jeno stays still for a second, trying to make out words. Hinintay lang ni Jaemin. Maybe it really is something very important for him.

Tinitigan siya ni Jeno. “Renjun and I kissed sa Amper last Friday.”

Jaemin’s mouth drops. “Oh my gosh!” He reaches over Jeno by the table but fails.

Jeno grins, but with no humor on his face.

“Then why aren’t you celebrating?” Jaemin asks, baffled. At least sila may usad, ‘di ba? Sila ni Donghyuck wala pa.

“Don’t you remember?” Jaemin tilts his head at that. “Habang nagbabrowse ka sa Netflix. Sabi niya, and I quote, ‘Kailan ako magkaka-first real kiss?’ Meaning, hindi totoo ‘yon.”

“Oh,” sambit ni Jaemin. He does remember. Kaya pala gano’n ang reaksyon niya. _Shet. I don’t know what to say._

“It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything. I got over it. It’s not like wala na akong mahahanap na iba,” Jeno says, resuming to eat.

Jaemin exhales. “I know. Pero he’s your first crush.”

“It sucks, to be honest. But it’s okay.”

Jaemin pouts. His bestfriend has just proven na he’s a real person. His bestfriend, who’s a snob about anything romance, just realized that he’s capable of romance! Bakit naman ganito ang kahihinatnan?

He saw Renjun! He must have liked Jeno! Alam niya ‘yong mga reaksyon nito! Heck, Jaemin even remembers Renjun’s reactions when Jeno said he had kissed another person before! He also saw the other’s relief when Jeno said it didn’t mean anything! Bakit naman gano’n?

“Jen,” Jaemin starts. “Baka nakalimutan lang niya? Baka he’s that type of drunk?”

Jeno scoffs. “It’s okay. I moved past it. You don’t have to console me.”

“I’m just saying!” Jaemin wails. “At least try a little more?”

“I said it’s okay, Jaem. Stop talking about it,” Jeno says, this time a little too forceful.

Jaemin stops but his expression remains. _Hindi pwede ‘to! Ano ba yan!_

He’s so sure Renjun likes Jeno too! What gives?

Pero he just leaves Jeno alone. Spoiled na ang mood kaya kumain na lang ulit siya.

It’s a quarter to 10 when they decide na magpa-UP Baguio na. Medyo umambon kaya nagpayong sila. Dahil Jeno does everything in this household, isinilong na lang niya si Jaemin. _Hihi._

On the way, Jaemin thinks of Jeno’s situation. “So what’s your plan now, Jeno?”

“Nothing. Just normal, I guess,” Jeno answers.

Jaemin hums na lang. He feels sad. _They’re my OTP e._

Pero he also has his own dilemma right now. What should he do?

Before he can even think of a solution, nasa gate na sila. Sumilong at sinara na ni Jeno ang payong.

Naglakad na sila paakyat at tahimik na pumasok sa room, tumabi na lang ulit sa dalawa. _Kunwari walang nangyari, gano’n._

“Hey,” they greet and the other two wave back.

Before someone could start a conversation, biglang dumating na si Jaehyun. And the class starts.

_Medyo maaga si Sir ngayon,_ Jaemin notes. Palaging after 10 na kasi sila dumadating ni Jeno pero hindi pa naman sila nalelate. Kung ganon ang nangyari ngayon, surely late na sila. Buti na lang hindi.

This time rin, Jaehyun is not as enthusiastic as last week. Normally, he jokes around to lighten up the mood in the room. Pero ngayon, halatang wala siya sa mood. _Ano kayang nangyari?_

Nakinig na lang siya, discarding the thoughts. Baka hindi lang maganda ang gising. Happens to the best of us.

Habang patapos ang klase, inisip ni Jaemin kung ano’ng gagawin ni Jeno. And honestly, siya rin. Jeno has a reason to lie low from his interactions with Renjun because of what happened. Pero Jaemin doesn’t. Hindi naman ata pwedeng biglang iwas, ano? He just has to suck it up. Friends na lang, gano’n.

Dinismiss agad sila ni Jaehyun, saying a quick ‘good bye’ and storming out of the room right after. Medyo nagkatinginan pa sila ni Jeno.

“Guys, sa’n kayo after? Kain tayo?” Renjun says while packing his things. Nakatayo na si Donghyuck malapit kay Renjun at paalis na rin sila Jaemin.

“Sorry, Renjun. Mom wants to have a video call with me. I’m going first,” Jeno answers.

“Oh. Okay,” Renjun smiles. Katatapos niya lang rin magayos.

“Ikaw, Jaem?” Donghyuck asks.

“Sama ako. I’m hungry,” he answers. _Slowly but surely na lang, I guess._

Naglakad na sila pababa ng catwalk. Humiwalay si Jeno sa crossing, apologizing for not being able to come but Jaemin knows that Tita really didn’t schedule a video call. Pero he knows that Jeno is just going through his first heartbreak and whatever way he copes, Jaemin will support, unless detrimental for him and others.

Thankfully, habang kumakain ang tatlo, wala namang awkward air around them. Jaemin tried his best to appear ‘normal’ although medyo calculated ang galaw niya. He’s walking on eggshells around the two boys.

This is why you never fall in love with friends! Kakakilala pa lang kasi nila, nagustuhan na nila agad. Pero that’s already happened. _Sorry, hehe._

Jaemin still feels sad about Jeno and Renjun’s story. _I swear may something! Ano ‘yong pa-reactions ni Renjun? Scam!_

In terms of Jaemin’s feelings, give up na ba siya? Medyo nadown din siya sa situation ni Jeno. They were definitely closer than Jaemin and Donghyuck. Renjun clings to Jeno ten times more than they even had skinship. Maybe it’s really just friendship talaga. If Jeno and Renjun, who were much closer, e wala palang chance for anything, paano pa kaya ‘yong kanila ni Jaemin? Maybe the timing is not right.

Let’s just see na lang whichever direction it goes.

Doyoung and Jaehyun are fighting, that’s for sure.

Mga Alas Diez nang kumatok si Doyoung sa kwarto ni Jeno. It was Sunday, the day after Renjun and Donghyuck slept over. It’s obvious that Jeno was asleep at naalimpungatan lang.

“Kuya?” Jeno asked. Nasa may doorway siya.

“I’m going home tomorrow,” Doyoung announced. “Kuya Jim will pick me up later by 4.”

“Huh? Why?” Tanong ni Jeno, still half-conscious.

“For my Master’s degree. You and Jaemin can manage naman na, ‘no?” sambit ni Doyoung.

“Of course. Are you gonna be back?”

“I’m not sure.” Doyoung just said, looking away.

Even in his state, Jeno concluded na it had something to do with Kuya Jae. Hindi na lang siya nagsalita kasi he didn’t wanna meddle.

“Okay. Ingat kayo. Are you gonna bring home some treats for Mom?” Ani Jeno with a groggy voice.

“Siyempre. Good night. Sleep tight,” Doyoung bid.

Jeno nodded and closed the door. Bumalik na rin si Doyoung sa kwarto niya, packing his bags.

Walang iniwan si Doyoung. What he brought when they got to Baguio, he will bring back to Manila. He’s really not sure if he’s gonna go back this term. Wala naman na siyang babalikan, aside from his brother and his best friend.

He didn’t sleep that night. He was busy accomplishing his paper. There was no time to waste. Like always

When the driver texted, he got up, brought his bags, settled them on the trunk, sat down, and listened to his music.

Tumitig lang siya sa labas at medyo mahamog pa, witnessing the moment the sky approached dawn and the morning light winning over the darkness.

He could care less.

Even before, Doyoung would describe himself as aloof. Alam niyang he comes off as standoffish to people around him. He knows that much. Kaya palagi niyang sinusubukang baguhin ‘yon or at least try to be more approachable to his juniors.

But it’s hard.

Bata pa lang si Doyoung, palagi na siyang ipinagmamayabang ng mga nakakatanda sa pamilya nila. In reunions, they would always test his intelligence and would find entertainment from his sharp tongue and wit. He just went with the flow. After all, what better way to indulge a child than validation, ‘di ba?

Maybe it started from there. Alam na niya agad kung ano ang gusto niyang gawin. And he’s excellent at it.

Pero as a consequence, nahirapan siyang maki-connect sa mga kaedad niya. He was too smart for them. Or he was too strict. Or they weren’t in the same wavelength. Or he wasn’t approachable so why would they try to connect?

So, creating personas is inevitable, not just for Doyoung but for everyone. You have to have a certain “mask” or “façade” when you meet with certain people. That’s just how it works. Kaya Ervin Goffman coined the “Dramaturgy.” Lahat naman kasi tayo e gustong bumagay, ‘di ba? We constantly choose what we want to present to people, or in sociology, that’s the back stage. With certain people, we level the presentation of ourself depending on the impressions that we get for others. Then we perform, or in sociology, in the front stage. That’s human nature. We prepare ourselves and pattern them with the people we interact with. Kailangan din kasing makibagay e.

Doyoung understood this concept even before he was introduced to this theory. People will only like you if they think you’re like them. They will only interact with you if you have something similar with them. That was something Doyoung painfully realized at a very young age. He doesn’t particularly hate these moments as a child, but he’s not fond of it.

Wala siyang kapareha sa mga ka-edad niya. That’s not boasting, it’s a fact. No one could keep up with him. He hated that. After all, humans are social beings. Even if he finds solace in solitude, one still has to continue interacting because that’s how we learn. By constantly interacting and communicating with others, we create our pool of knowledge that we don’t find in books. It’s like vicariously experiencing what others experience. That’s important. The short span of a human life requires one to interact so they wouldn’t have to experience everything, just through communiation, and he eliminates what to do and not to do. Doyoung found that important at a very young age.

He had to create personas. Nakibagay siya sa mga ka-edad niya. And it worked. Doyoung was able to communicate with others, although substandard most of the time. Pero sinubukan niya pa ring maki-level sa iba. But it’s tiring. Why would he constantly lower himself para makibagay? Even if he did find the importance of social interaction, it just drained him too much. So, he just chose who to interact with, although he knows he’s still using these personas. But who doesn’t?

His little brother, Jeno, has always been the only person who understands him the best, the only person Doyoung can be with without putting up walls or masks. Kapag kasama si Jeno, wala siyang ibang iniisip but what they will have for lunch or anything. It’s peaceful with Jeno.

Although he knows sibling rivalries are bound to happen, Jeno never made Doyoung feel like the villain. Jeno’s battle was more of man vs. himself and Doyoung was thankful for that kasi they never drifted off as brothers. Jeno is the epitome of the perfect little brother for someone like Doyoung. Jeno was never intrusive. He respects his brother’s boundaries and personal space. And Doyoung does the same for the other.

So, Doyoung would risk his life for his baby brother.

But his brother also has his own share of problems.

Alam niya, by intuition, na may love problems ang kapatid niya. And he doesn’t want to meddle because this is something that would build or destroy a character and Doyoung believes that Jeno will get through this.

Kaya this particular problem of Doyoung can wait.

Doyoung and Jaehyun met when he studied for a short term in UP Baguio after his first year.

Naging magkaklase sila sa isang GE class. Wala silang pakialam sa isa’t isa noong una. Doyoung was closed off, opting to sight see while studying and that did not include befriending everyone. Although, he got close with Kun, a UPB student who he sat next to in the class. They just interacted through small talk, sometimes pairing up for activities. After some time, they became friends. They would eat together, although they never met up outside the university.

Halfway in the semester, ininvite siya ni Kun na kumain sa labas after Doyoung told him about his sightseeing. Marami kasing gems sa Baguio na hindi mahahanap from travel blogs. Kun said he had been to a lot of restos and cafes in Baguio that most don’t find. And Doyoung liked that.

That’s where Doyoung and Jaehyun formally met. Mag-acquaintance kasi sina Kun and Jaehyun, although hindi close. Parehas silang nasa College of Science at naging magkaklase sila sa isang subject noong second sem.

While Kun and Doyoung were eating, biglang naggreet si Jaehyun out of nowhere, saying na it’s his first time seeing his midyear classmates outside the school. He sat with them, ate with them, and naturally, they clicked.

Marami silang napagusapan. Although Doyoung said not more than 10 words in the whole conversation, Jaehyun always asked for his insights or opinion, which Doyoung found kind of annoying, pero in a good way kasi he did not leave him out of the conversation.

Jaehyun was one of the most considerate people Doyoung had ever met at the time. He knew his boundaries. He respected other’s personal space. Jaehyun was also very kind. Palagi siyang may dalang candy sa bulsa niya and he would always offer one to Doyoung, which the latter gladly took each time. He was not annoying. Doyoung liked Jaehyun.

And then Jaehyun told him he’d start courting him, which shocked him, to say the very least.

Don’t get him wrong. Doyoung knew at that time that he was gay, but he wasn’t looking for anything romantic. He was sure no one would take interest in going into a relationship with him. He knew he’s a lot to handle. But then Jaehyun came.

It was smooth sailing. Jaehyun always showed his best sides, because he knew that Doyoung would like it. Doyoung also showed the best parts of himself, to be on par with him. Although Doyoung was well aware of the fact that everyone tries to summon a persona that the other would like, he still found it very nice na Jaehyun would go the trouble para lang makibagay kay Doyoung.

He courted Doyoung for a year. At first, Doyoung had been skeptical of Jaehyun. He was too perfect! Nobody was that perfect!

So, Doyoung had given him a time frame if he would be tired of the persona that he always put on, but he never wavered. Several months into the courting, palaging naging ganoon si Jaehyun. Noong bumisita siya sa bahay nila, kahit mga magulang niya ay nagustuhan siya. He managed to steal Jeno’s heart and that was where Doyoung knew he liked Jaehyun enough to enter a relationship with him. So he said yes.

For the better part, they didn’t quarrel much. They had not taken too much of the other’s time because studying in UP was already a big challenge so they didn’t want to create more for the other. Hindi naman sila naguusap everyday but the times they did, they still conveyed their affection and love for one another.

It was hard having a long distance relationship as your first. Jaehyun was in Baguio and Doyoung was in QC. Especially kasi ang love language pala ni Doyoung e Quality Time. He found that out two months after they started dating.

Ang kay Jaehyun namay ay Words of Affirmation. Kaya what he did was always initiate the video calls. It was him talking most of the time kasi while Jaehyun is more vocal of his love for Doyoung, Doyoung finds it hard to voice out his affection for the other.

Pero how Doyoung expressed his love is through visiting Baguio on a whim just to be with Jaehyun. Kapag may important papers siya at hindi naman necessary na gawin sa mga lab ang mga iyon, he visits Jaehyun in Baguio and they would do their own works on their own, pero magkatabi. They can sit in silence but the affection is always there.

He would visit even without telling Jaehyun. Dahil alam niya ang schedule nito, he would take advantage of that. Bigla siyang bibisita on a Friday night. Most times, medyo magtatampo muna si Jaehyun kasi hindi siya nakapagprepare and all that pero in the long run, palagi na siyang prepared sa spontaneous visits ng jowa niya.

This is the reason why he went with Jeno and Jaemin this term kahit busy siya sa master’s degree niya. Mas mahirap na kasi after this kaya he’s maximizing the time.

But when Doyoung felt like he was being shunned by his own boyfriend from interacting with the people Jaehyun trust; when Doyoung felt like he did not belong; and when Doyoung felt the distance that he had to endure as a child glaringly come back, he knew he had to leave. He wouldn’t even consider those childhood memories as traumatic but when he felt the same from the person he trusted, it just stung.

It hurt that the person he trusted would make him feel like that again and made it tenfold worse.

Doyoung doesn’t know if he could ever forgive that. If he would, he would never forget.

“Doyoung, what if you talk it out?” says Taeyong, one of the two people he befriended in UP. Dahil for some reason, palagi silang nagiging magkaklase sa GEs, by their third year, Taeyong started to hang out with him and they clicked kahit Taeyong is a Music (Composition) graduate.

“Oo nga. I think that’s what’s best. Pero of course, in your time,” wika ni Ten. He’s the other one. Ten was originally just Taeyong’s friend since high school pero ayon nadala siya nito in befriending Doyoung. He’s a Speech Comm graduate.

Doyoung sighs. Nasa UP Town Center sila, sa Starbucks. Nasa second floor, by the floor to ceiling windows, which they always were back in their undergrad days. Now they made it their spot whenever they want to meet since si Doyoung lang nag-grad school.

Taeyong pouts. “I really wouldn’t have thought na mapaparamdam sa ‘yo ‘yon ni Jae. It’s just so not him,” he leans back, sipping from his drink. Katabi niya si Doyoung while Ten is seated in front of him.

“Oo nga. All men do is lie, hmp,” Ten exclaims. “So, Doie, what’s your plan?”

Doyoung sips from his drink. “I don’t know. I just find it hard to talk to him, I guess.”

“Do you want to break up?” Biglang sabi ni Taeyong na ikinalaki ng mata ni Ten.

“Hoy, Yongie, grabe naman ata kapag magbe-break agad,” Pinanlakihan niya ng mata si Taeyong.

“I mean, I’m not saying you should or should not. I’m just asking kasi what he did is not a joke after all,” depensa ni Taeyong.

Hindi umimik si Doyoung. Naghiwa na lang siya sa waffle niya. He also looks like he’s lost in thought.

Sabay na naglabas ng hininga ang dalawa at nagtinginan. This is something new for Doyoung and they know how he is with change.

“Am I overreacting?” Doyoung speaks.

“No, not at all! Your feelings and emotions are valid!” depensa ni Ten, with his hands shaking in the air.

“I could have talked to him first pero iniwan ko siya when we finished,” Doyoung mutters. “I should have at least given him the benefit of the doubt. I shouldn’t have left for Manila without talking to him.”

Nagtinginan sina Ten at Taeyong.

“Well, what you did wasn’t the best solution,” Taeyong utters. “But it’s not necessarily overreacting. You have your reasons after all.”

Ten nods. “And like, he should know better. He was insensitive and if he didn’t realize that, kasalanan niya na ‘yon.”

Doyoung sips from his drink.

“I still think you should talk to him,” Taeyong says. “After all, communication is important, kahit hindi magkasundo.”

Ten nods, seconding what Taeyong said.

“I don’t know how to. Hindi ko alam kung ano’ng sasabihin or how I would bring it up,” Doyoung looks at the two and pouts.

“Aww, honey,” lumapit ang dalawa sa kanya, hugging him. They huddle close, Ten even standing from his seat to come closer.

Taeyong looks up from Doyoung’s shoulder. “Focus on yourself first. If he doesn’t even contact you in a week, tell us and kami na ni Ten ang bahala.”

“True, true!” Ten supports.

Natawa na lang si Doyoung kahit na medyo masakit pa rin para sa kanya ang mga nangyari.

“Love you, guys,” he says, pulling them closer. Bihira lang siya makipag-skinship sa dalawa pero alam naman nila na he loves them a lot.

“We’ll always love you, Doie.”

“Jen, what’s your plan? Iwas na lang hanggang matapos ‘tong midyear?” Jaemin asks right after putting his bag down. Nakaupo sa sofa si Jeno playing his online game.

“Huh?” Jeno asks back, not looking away from his phone.

Umirap si Jaemin. “You know I know na hindi nagsched si Tita ng video call niyo.”

Hindi pa rin inaalis ni Jeno ang atensyon niya sa game niya. “I called her kanina.”

Umirap ulit si Jaemin. “You know what I mean.”

Hindi umimik si Jeno.

Jaemin exhales, dejected. “I feel so sad. Pero talk to him, please.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Jeno says sharply.

Napa-pout si Jaemin. “Don’t be mad at me.”

“I’m not mad.”

Jaemin stares at Jeno, “Don’t be mad at me but I’m gonna say some things at hindi ka pwedeng magsalita habang nagsasalita ako.”

Jeno doesn’t respond so Jaemin takes that as a yes.

“I don’t think Renjun remembers you kissed.” Jaemin starts, and gets disappointed when Jeno doesn’t react. “So technically, in his mind, wala pa siyang nakiss na kahit sino.”

“Hear me out, Jen,” Jaemin pokes Jeno, who just shrugs his finger off of his body. “What if you remind him?”

Hindi pa rin sumasagot si Jeno.

“Kasi by default, you can’t place your disappointment on him kasi he doesn’t remember he even kissed you in the first place! So that means hindi niya sinasabing wala kang chance kasi nga,” pinandilatan ni Jaemin ng mata si Jeno,” hindi niya alam na naghalikan kayo!”

Medyo nagreact ang katawan ni Jeno pero hindi pa rin siya umimik. Medyo nainis na si Jaemin.

“What if it’s not him not giving you a chance but just you not giving him a chance?” Jaemin says, now kind of agitated. “Kasi if he really doesn’t remember, hindi niya maiintindihan why you’re suddenly distancing yourself away from him kung medyo close na kayo the days before.”

Hindi pa rin sumasagot si Jeno. And that is the last straw for Jaemin.

“It’s unfair for him. Think about that,” Jaemin picks up his bag and storms off. Talking to Jeno is really freaking frustrating.

While Jaemin leaves, medyo napaisip si Jeno.

He’s not gonna lie, whatever Jaemin said pierced his heart. He’s also not gonna lie and think he’s thought of that before.

Whatever Jaemin said could be true. But he could also be wrong.

What if Renjun remembers and he just doesn’t think he could be _that_ with him? It’s going to be very embarrassing for Jeno if he would still continue to _want_ to be with Renjun in that if he made it clear already.

So what if he’s looking at the glass half empty? Or the cat is dead?

_Hngggg. I just have to ask, I guess._

_Tsk. Easier said than done._

Jeno _cannot_ find the timing.

Sure, hindi na siya umiiwas. Pero he just _cannot_ ask. Whenever he sees Renjun, his mind just drifts to that _intimate moment_ and he can’t help but heat up, dama hanggang sa nether regions niya.

Like now.

“Jeno, you wanna eat?” Renjun asks. “May pupuntahan daw sina Jaem and Hyuck.”

It’s Thursday. Katatapos lang ng klase nila kaya nag-aayos na sila. Jaehyun was also the same as these past few days. Now that Jeno knows na his kuya and his boyfriend are fighting, he can just symphatize but he’s siding with his brother of course.

Jeno hums. He’s on his phone, waiting by the door dahil nag-aayos pa rin si Renjun. He’s not gonna lie (again), but he’s tense around Renjun. _Ayan bakit kasi hahalik._

“Okay,” Jeno jolts when Renjun suddenly appears beside him. Tumawa si Renjun. “Where do you wanna eat?”

Jeno doesn’t think he can handle being alone with Renjun as of now so he has to think of something.

“Sa Caf?” He blurts out. “I haven’t eaten there yet.”

Nandilat si Renjun. “Really? Oh my gosh you have to try their food.” Renjun latches himself onto Jeno’s hand, which made Jeno immediately blush. _Hngg._

“They don’t have the best food and ang konti lang rin kasi ng choice pero they’re perfect when you seat by the balcony. That’s where Hyuck and I always sat.” Malapit lang ang Caf sa classroom nila, thankfully, kaya mabilis lang silang nakarating.

Konti lang ang tao, mostly professors rin, or some who look older than them (probably 3rd or 4th year students).

Wala ring tao by the balcony kaya the seats are free. Umupo sila sa may left side which was close to one of the concessionaires but the view is prettier there. It’s also colder there for some reason.

“You can just leave your things here. Nobody really steal things around here.” Renjun says. “Oh wait! Kunin mo payong mo, if ever. Wala ngang magnanakaw dito ng kahit ano pero kapag payong, ubusan.”

Jeno chuckles. _Ang weird haha._

“Personally, pinakagusto ko dito sa Joystick kasi I like their food more.” Renjun says.

“Hindi ba ito ‘yong controversial?” Jeno asks. Nabanggit na ata ito before but he forgot.

Tumawa si Renjun. “Oo. If you look rich, mas mahal daw ang benta nila sa ‘yo. Like if you have jewelry on or you have rich looking clothes, they’d charge higher. Pero if not, standard price.”

“Wait, really?” Natawa na rin si Jeno.

“I didn’t believe at first pero ang daming nagsasabi kasi. And then I experienced it.” Renjun laughs. “Tinest namin ni Hyuck. Siya ‘yong may mas _rich-looking_ outfit tas ako normal lang. We ordered the same but he was charged 5 pesos more.”

“Halla!” Jeno laughs.

“Honestly, hindi ko alam kung ano mafifeel ko e. Masaya kasi hindi ako nascam o galit kasi hindi ako mukhang mayaman as per their standards?”

Natawa nang malakas si Jeno.

“Anyway, if you want more variety, try Camacho. Pero kung marami ang serving, Top Food. And if you want more Filipino dish, sa Mamita’s Bulalohan na hindi naman nagbebenta ng Bulalo.”

In the end, they both chose Joystick dahil may Pesto sila and the smell really drew them in. Mukhang reasonable naman ang bayad nila pero Renjun insists na mas mahal than normal. “You look very rich.”

Pagkabalik nila sa balcony, nagkatabi sila kasi biglang nasa tapat na bench ‘yong bags nila. Jeno wants to sink into the ground.

It’s very cold. Lunch time pero ang lamig. Diretso ‘yong simoy ng hangin sa kanila dahil open space and Jeno feels his face tighten because of the temperature.

They start to eat in peace. Halatang gutom din.

Jeno, who was about to ask a question kaya tumingin siya sa katabi niya, suddenly fixates his eyes on the other’s lips. Renjun is munching with his mouth close (table manners siz) kaya medyo protruded. _Fuck, I know how that taste and feel like._

Jeno blushed, this time profusely. Nagiwas siya ng tingin kasi biglang nagflash ‘yong moment nila together sa isip niya and Jeno feels like exploding. He knows he looks red right now pero, _putangina._

As if sensing Jeno froze, biglang napatingin sa kanya si Renjun. “Jen? You okay?”

Jeno swallows a lump on his throat. “I’m okay. Nilamig lang.” _Good answer! Keep it up!_

“Hmm. Okay,” Renjun says and resumes eating.

Jeno resumes eating but he knows he’s still red.

“Jen,” Renjun calls after a while. Mukhang tapos na rin siyang kumain. “Bakit ‘di na bumibisita si Kuya Doyo?”

Jeno wiped his lips. “He’s in Diliman.”

“Oh? I thought mag-stay siya dito hanggang matapos ang midyear?” Renjun says, gulat.

“I thought so too pero may mga aasikasuhin daw siya for his Master’s degree. He didn’t specify, though,” Jeno answers.

“Aww maybe that’s why Sir Jae looks dejected and sad these days?” Renjun remarks.

_Well, I don’t think that’s the only reason. But it’s not my story to tell,_ Jeno thinks.

Nagkibit-balikat si Jeno. Now that they’re finished eating, ano na? _What to do?_

Should he ask na? How should he even ask? ‘Renjun do you remember when we kissed?’ or ‘Renjun do you know we kissed?’ because if the other doesn’t rememeber, that’s like another big humiliation for Jeno. _Shuta._

_Should I? Should I?_

“Renjun,” when Jeno called out the other’s name without a game plan, he knew he’s fucked.

“Hmm?” Renjun is on his phone but he doesn’t lift his head, although Jeno knows na he’s listening.

_Fuck. How should I ask? What the hell,_ Jeno thinks.

Nang hindi siya nagsalita after a few seconds, doon na siya tinignan ni Renjun. _Shet how do I say this without sounding stupid? Ashdhsjg_

“Uhh,” Jeno starts. “Do you, like, remember everything last time sa Amper?” _Fucking hell, Jeno. That was stupid._

Renjun blinks. “I think so?”

_Ay,_ Jeno thinks. He feels his heart tighten but he tries his best not to let the other see.

“Oh? But weren’t you asleep most of the time?” Jeno laughs, but he knows it came off nervous and dejected. Hopefully the other doesn’t sense.

Renjun laughs. “I don’t think I forget anything actually. Alam ko nilibre mo ako ng Smirnoff and ayon.”

_Ayon? That means the kiss, right? He does remember! Eat shit, Jaemin!_

“So, uh,” Jeno exhales. “Do you feel awkward around me?”

Renjun looks at Jeno weirdly. “Bakit naman ako magiging awkward with you?”

Jeno swallows a lump. “You know, after what happened.” His heart is breaking as seconds pass by. He feels his mouth dry.

Then Renjun suddenly laughs. “After what happened? It’s not a big deal! Ako nga dapat maging awkward around you, not you to me. So it’s okay.”

_Okay. It’s not a big deal. Jeno, you’re not a big deal. Lol okay._

Tumawa na lang rin si Jeno to mask the pain. _God why are you so emotional, Jeno? Nag-Baguio ka lang nag-iba ka na rin pota. You’re just rejected and other kids your age experience this all the time. Man up._

Jeno doesn’t know what to do after that. He just needs time for himself. It’s his first rejection after all.

“Una na ako?” Jeno asks after mustering his utmost courage to speak up. He just has to suck it up but right now he still can’t.

“Oh? Okay. Sabay na tayo lumabas,” ani Renjun.

Sabay silang pumanik paalis, Jeno a step behind Renjun. Dahil relatively close lang ang College of Science sa gate, mabilis lang ang lakad. Jeno and Renjun separate by the crossing and they bid each other good bye.

Jeno inhales and exhales a bigger breath. He’s just disappointed but he’ll get over it. It’s not like his life revolves around the boy. They just met and spent time in not more than three weeks. But it still hurt nonetheless. He just needs some time for himself.

He stops by sa Jollibee on his way home. He’s not sure where Jaemin is or if he’s eaten already pero binilhan niya pa rin. Kahit katatapos lang ng lunch, he’s so sure he doesn’t want to cook for dinner kaya bumili na lang siya for snacks and dinner. May microwave oven naman sa tinitirhan nila.

While waiting for his food, he plans what he wants to do. Wala namang heavy tasks so he has a lot of time to spare. Because he also wants to release some emotions, tatapusin na lang niya ang The Last of Us Part II. He hasn’t played it before because it’s very emotional daw but now looks like the best time. 

He just needs some time. ‘Yon lang naman.

He’ll get over it.

Nagpasama si Donghyuck kay Jaemin sa Porta Vaga Mall sa may Session dahil may bibilhin daw siya. They were supposed to bring the other two pero Jaemin insisted na iwan muna nila ang dalawa because of some things. Jaemin knew Jeno wanted to talk about it kahit hindi naman shinare ni Jeno ‘yon sa kanya pero he still wanted to give them both some time. He just hopes for the best.

“Hyuck, ano bibilhin mo?” Jaemin asks. Kapag pupunta sa Session Road from UP Baguio, madadaanan ang SM. There are two ways. Baba sila and makakarating sila sa may Gen. Luna kung saan e terminal din ng bus and some taxis, which is directly below SM. The other e sa may taas na medyo kahilera rin ng SM. Donghyuck chose that one dahil alam niyang sobrang mapapagod si Jaemin if they chose the other one.

“G-tech,” sagot ni Donghyuck. Jaemin gapes, incredulous.

“G-tech? Wala bang ganyan sa NBS? Ang layo naman ng nilakad para lang sa ballpen,” Jaemin complains. Kahit sa may patag sila naglakad, directly below SM, nakakaagod pa rin. Ang ‘walking distance’ naman kasi dito sa Baguio e apakalayo?

“Mas mura kasi dito. Like, for real. Medyo overpriced sa NBS. Mas available rin dito kasi sometimes, walang .3 doon e ‘yon ang best G-tech ballpen,” Donghyuck answers. Patawid na sila papuntang Porta.

Pagkapasok, medyo nagulat si Jaemin sa interior. It’s very weird. Maraming passageways that don’t make sense. Para siyang tatlong mall na pinagdikit for the sake of it. It’s smaller than the usual mall pero maraming stores. Alam na agad ni Jaemin na he will never be able to memorize this mall probably ever. Napalapit tuloy siya kay Donghyuck kasi kung mawala siya, baka hindi na siya makalabas.

“Wait, ‘di ka ba gutom? Let’s eat muna, please,” Jaemin pleads. It’s way past 12 and his stomach is complaining.

“Hmm, 50’s Diner?” Donghyuck asks.

“May 50’s Diner dito?” Jaemin squeals. “Okay!”

Since madadaanan nila ‘yong pagbibilhan ni Donghyuck ng G-tech, inuna na lang muna nila ‘yon.

“Hyuck, 5 pesos lang naman ata ‘yong masesave mo?” ani Jaemin. May ‘mas mura dito’ pa siyang nalalaman e hindi rin naman pala ganon kalaki yung lamang.

“5 pesos is a big amount!” Donghyuck defends. Sure, tapos kakain sa 50’s Diner. Okay.

Sa top floor siya nakalocate. May katabi ring mukhang masarap din. Pero marami kasi ang serving kaya sulit pa rin naman.

Habang naglalakad papunta roon, Jaemin can’t help but marvel over the interior of the restaurant. Ang ganda lang kasi talaga ng concept. Kahit sa may Military Cutoff e ang ganda pa rin. May mga records on frames na nakasabit sa pink walls. Also on the walls are posters of hit movies in the 50’s, music icons, and many more. The staff also wear pink knee dress with white aprons, which really adds to the overall aesthetic. Just really an eye candy.

After they ordered, Jaemin thinks back of Jeno. He strongly hopes na mareresolve na ng dalawa a=kung ano mang problema nila. He feels sad. He kind of does not want Jeno’s first love story to end even without it starting yet. He’s really sure na there’s _something._ There has to be _something._ Kasi if he was wrong, he’ll feel… _sad._

Dumating na ‘yong pagkain nila kaya he focuses on it na lang. Nadistract naman siya kasi ang sarap pa rin. He ordered the “Guys in the Hood” which has lots of servings for its price. May porkchop, chicken, spaghetti, bread pizza, rice, and vegetables for 165 pesos only? Steal. Donghyuck ordered pasta and garclic shrimps with garlic bread on the side. It’s cheaper and Donghyuck didn’t want to spend too much.

Kumain lang muna sila, filling their stomach dahil nalipasan na sila. They didn’t speak the whole time because they were too hungry to do so.

Pagkatapos, nagyaya si Donghyuck mag-Milk Fridge, sa may pinakababa pero on the other exit. At this time kasi, mas kaunti ang tao since it’s way past lunch time. _Akala ko ba nagtitipid ka? Pero gora._

“Ang weird talaga ng mall na ‘to,” Jaemin remarks habang naglalakad. “I mean, I’m not in any way educated about architecture pero I know na sobrang weird ng construction nito.”

Natawa si Donghyuck. “Don’t worry. Everyone thinks the same. Hindi ko rin sure how they approved of the design pero it works, I think. Kasi ang ganda ng exterior. It really made Session really beautiful. In Christmas, ang daming lights.”

It’s true, Jaemin thinks. Hindi siya sure kung ano’ng inspiration ng design sa exterior pero it looks beautiful.

“This is really hard to memorize. May taong alam na kaya lahat ng pasikot-sikot nito? It’s so weird,” Jaemin asks.

Natawa ulit si Donghyuck. “You’re not wrong. Kasi hindi pa rin ako nakakapunta sa Palawan Express nang hindi nawawala. It’s very complex.”

Buti na lang at hindi rin talaga marami ang nakapila. Hindi nag-order si Jaemin kasi he doesn’t feel like drinking milk tea right now. At ang lamig? Tapos milk tea? Hindi pa sanay ang katawan niya kaya hindi muna siya bumili. He feels like having coffee.

“Saan ka na?” tanong ni Jaemin. Nasa ma pavement na sila sa labas. Since hindi sila lumabas sa pinasukan nila, medyo nasa baba na sila. At least Jaemin knows where to go na. He can see SM kaya doon na lang siya dadaan.

“Ikaw ba? You going home na?” Donghyuck asks back.

Jaemin nods. “Daan na ako sa SM. Ikaw ba?”

“Pababa. Sasakay ng Jeep.”

Nagpaalam na sila sa isa’t isa at tinahak na ang kanilang sariling daan. Tumawid si Jaemin para sa kabila umakyat kasi that’s the place he knows. Better stick to the familiar places. First time niya ring magliwaliw magisa kaya ayaw niyang mawala.

Sobrang exhausting pa rin para kay Jaemin umakyat. Hindi pa rin talaga accustomed ang katawan niya terrain ng Baguio.

After a while, he reaches SM. Pagkaapak niya sa entrance, napahinga siya nang maluwag. Buti na lang at hindi siya pinagpawisan kahit pagod na pagod siya umakyat. This weather really is wonderful. It’s nearing 3 na siguro and cloudy ang weather. It looks like it’s gonna rain kaya Jaemin feels relieved na may payong siyang dala.

SM Baguio doesn’t have to install airconditioning units sa loob dahil ang lamig pa rin. He needs coffee. Daanan na lang niya Starbucks sa may exit sa second floor. At least he knows where to go.

While walking, he notes na ang eccentric talaga manamit ng mga nasa Baguio. Siya mismo e nakawind breaker above a plain t-shirt and track pants. Nilalamig pa rin siya sa lagay na ‘yon. May mga nakikita siyang naka-chino shorts at t-shirt lang. Some older people are wearing a parka. Dito lang talaga sa Baguio makakakita ng mga nakapambahay at mga balot na balot in one look, ano?

Papasok na siya ng Starbucks and after he gets a whiff of the fine coffee, he feels like he’s back in UPTC. He ordered his usual drink, Venti Iced Americano (with ice, no water) with 4 extra espresso shots. Binash niya si Donghyuck na nag-iced drink pero in the end, when his nose picked up this scent, he knew he just had to. _Bakit ba?!_

After paying, umupo siya sa isang table where two students just left. Thank god. Pagkaupo, doon niya lang narealize ‘yong pagod niya. He stretches his neck and his knees. When the barista calls his name, tumayo siya to get it. He figures na magstay muna since he’s really tired. Medyo malayo ulit ang lalakarin niya pauwi.

He plomps down, beaming as he takes a sip.

“Jaemin, right?” Someone speaks, breaking Jaemin out of his trance. Tumingin siya kung saan galing ang boses and he finds Mark, Donghyuck’s ex. _Great._

“Hey. Mark?” The boy nods.

“Are you alone?” tanong ni Mark. When he sees Jaemin nod, “Can I sit with you? Wala na kasing available seats.”

Napatingin si Jaemin sa loob and he knows he doesn’t have a choice. “Sure.”

“Nice,” he says. Sakto ring tinawag ‘yong name niya kaya hindi pa siya umupo. Jaemin takes this time to compose himself.

After Mark gets his coffee, umupo na rin siya sa harap ni Jaemin, smiling as courtesy.

They don’t speak for a little while. _Anong sasabihin ko?_

Uminom lang muna sila, and Jaemin feels a weird tension. They shared a look before and hindi pa rin naman ‘yon nakalimutan ni Jaemin.

“So,” Mark starts. Napatingin si Jaemin. _Ugh small talk._ “You’re Hyuckie’s friend, right?”

Jaemin awkwardly laughs but nods. Hindi niya alam kung ano’ng sasabihin pabalik but his mouth moves on his own. Great. “You’re his ex?” _Shuta Jaemin, did you have to ask?_

Mark chuckles. “Yes, actually. He told you that, huh.”

Jaemin inwardly winces. _What does that mean?!_

“Anyway, you’re originally from Diliman, right? Why are you here?” Sabi ni Mark.

_Is it just me or Mark is provoking me, right now. Really?_

Tipid na ngumiti si Jaemin. “Yes, actually. Jeno, my friend, and I decided to take our midyear here. You know, to explore.”

Mark nods his head, taking a sip from his drink. “So how do you know Hyuck?”

_Is he interrogating me? The audacity?_

Medyo napikon siya sa naisip niya but he tries his best not to show.

Jaemin awkwardly laughs. “Magjowa kuya ni Jeno and Hyuck’s cousin. He introduced us.”

“Oh. Kuya Doyoung is Jeno’s brother?” Mark asks to which Jaemin answers with a nod.

A weird air passes between them. And frankly, Jaemin doesn’t want to talk na. But Mark seems to have other plans.

“I actually met Donghyuck kahapon,” utas ni Mark.

_Why are you telling me?_ Jaemin rolls his eyes (in his mind).

“Haha you did,” Jaemin mutters, taking a sip from his drink. “And?”

_Shet that was passive aggressive wasn’t it?_

Mark looks at Jaemin with something akin to humor in his eyes. “Seems like something’s going on between you two.”

_What’s it to you?!_

Jaemin blinks but still laughs after. “I don’t know about that.” Uminom na lang siya ulit.

“Well, after we met last Saturday, Donghyuck seems to love talking about you. What’s up with that, right?” Mark says.

_Wait, I don’t get it. Huh? Where are you going with this?_

Hindi na lang sumagot si Jaemin. It’s tiring to talk with Mark for some reason. He just takes a sip from his coffee.

“Well, I have a question.” Napatingin na si Jaemin dito. “What do you think of Hyuck?”

Something rose from his stomach. He’s not sure what it is but it’s not a good feeling.

“I don’t think I’m obligated to answer that,” sagot ni Jaemin. Well, he isn’t.

Now, the tension’s more apparent. _Ha. How you like that?_

“Hey, I’m just asking,” Mark chuckles. He takes a sip. “I mean, even if you do, from what I see, you don’t match…” Mark looks at him. “At all.”

Now Jaemin shows a little of his anger.

“What do you know? You don’t know me,” he answers with spite but calm. “We’re only talking now and you think you have me all figured out?”

Jaemin doesn’t think he’s aggressive as a person. But when someone pokes the bear, he knows how to handle himself. Basta hindi fist fight because he’ll immediately lose at that.

Mark sits back. He chuckles, again. “I’m just saying. Take it with a grain of salt.”

Jaemin also sits back, taking a sip from his drink.

“I mean, as a piece of advice, that’s why our relationship failed. We didn’t match. And I think you don’t, too. But really, what do I know, right?” Mark snickered.

This whole exchange really makes Jaemin’s blood boil. But he’s not some squammy teenager who attacks there and then.

“Frankly, he and I could have matched well, you know,” Mark speaks again. “But things happened and look at us now.”

Jaemin isn’t sure what is happening. Why is Mark telling him all these things? What’s his purpose?

“Maybe because I didn’t try enough. Should I have? Maybe not.”

Baffled, that’s what Jaemin is. _Uhh, TMI?_

“Maybe because we left it at that, ‘no?” He continued.

Akala niya nira-rile up lang siya pero with the direction it’s going, possibly not?

“Should we have stopped just because we think we don’t match at all? Or should we have fixed it first?”

“Hey,” Jaemin speaks after a while. “I’m not sure where this is going. Why are you telling me this?”

Marks looks at him, humor apparent in his eyes. “I’m not sure. Where do you think is it going?”

Jaemin look at him, incredulous. “I don’t know. You just started talking about your relationship.”

Mark hums. “That’s true. But if you ask me, I don’t think I’d want to be back in a relationship with him.”

_Ano ba talaga? I’m seriously, seriously so confused! What’s your point?!_

Natawa si Mark sa reaksyon ni Jaemin. “I’m just saying. Take it as a piece of advice, I guess.”

Jaemin is more than confused of this whole exchange. Nakikipaglaban ba siya? Is he boasting his relationship with Hyuck? Is he picking a fight?

“I’m finished with my drink,” Mark announces.

Jaemin just gapes at him, still confused.

“I’m going first.” He stands up but before he goes, he speaks again. “You seem to like Donghyuck and he seems to like you too.” And tuluyan na siyang umalis.

“What the hell was that?” Jaemin exclaims. _What was the point of that conversation? Hello?_

Paubos na rin ang drink niya kaya tinapos na lang niya iyon and he prepares himself to go. Tumayo na siya at itinapon ang inumin sa basurahan.

Pagkalabas, medyo umaambon na kaya he whips out his umbrella and opens it. He starts walking. He’s still seriously puzzled about what had just happened.

“Ganito ba talaga mga Anthro people? Philo minor ba siya? So weird!” he yells to himself. Binilisan niya maglakad because he cannot wait to tell the story to Jeno. That was really weird.

Nagulat na lang siya nang matanaw ang tinitirhan nila. He was racking his mind of what Mark meant habang on the way and buti na ang hindi siya nasagasahan. His head was in the clouds kasi.

He fishes out his keys and hurriedly opens the door. He has to tell Jeno and help him decode! _Kaloka! Mga taga-UP talaga!_

After he placed the umbrella outside to let it dry, tinahak niya ang daan papunta sa sala. Jeno is currently sprawled on the carpet, playing some game Jaemin doesn’t know, although it looks like it’s finished already. Nakatalikod siya sa kanya. After he removes his shoes, he hurriedly goes towards Jeno, ready to spill.

“Jen—” right after Jaemin turns to look at Jeno, nagulat siya when his bestfriend has tears streaming down his face! _What the fuck happened?_

“Oh my god! Are you okay?” Jaemin turns Jeno towards him. He’s silently sobbing na rin kaya Jaemin is so concerned. This is a rare sight!

Umiling si Jeno, wiping his tears. He exhales, basa pa rin ang mata.

“Are you okay? Dahil ba kay Renjun? Oh my god!” Jaemin helps Jeno wipe his tears.

“What? No!” Jeno picks his water bottle up, sipping. “It’s because of this video game, duh! I don’t cry for a boy.”

Tinitigan lang ni Jaemin ang kaibigan niya. _What is up with this day?!_

“I hate whoever made this. Tignan mo oh! This seriously hurt so much! You should try it!” Jeno picks up the cover of the game pero Jaemin just looks at him again, incredulous.

“Gago! Akala ko nasaktan ka nang sobra kaya ka umiiyak! Shuta ka!” Pinalo palo ni Jaemin si Jeno with the pillow sa couch.

Jeno laughs. “Well, kind of.”

“What? Oh my god! What happened?” Jaemin hops closer to Jeno.

Jeno spills whatever happened at their lunch. Jaemin intently listens.

“So, yeah. He remembers and it’s really not a big deal for him. So I’m just gonna stop, I guess.” Jeno finishes.

Jaemin just stares at him for a while, letting the information sink in. “But you didn’t ask him about the kiss! You assumed!” Pinalo palo niya ulit ng unan.

“I did! He said it’s not a big deal and dapat siya pa nga raw ma-awkward sa akin because of that. I told you already,” he answers, dodging the other’s attacks.

“No, you didn’t! Tinanong mo lang kung may nakalimutan siya and he says he didn’t and you should have explicitly asked if he remembers the kiss! Paano kapag hindi pero that’s how it came off? It could be a misunderstanding again!” Jaemin exclaims.

“Gano’n na rin ‘yon! He’s not the type to forget when he’s drunk, sabi niya, so he remembers,” sagot niya.

“Ih! It’s not the same! In-assume mo na ‘ayon’ meant the kiss! Paano kapag hindi pala? What if he just spilled some drink on your shirt ganon and that’s why he’s sorry or something! You’re a journ major! Comms! Clearly!” Jaemin is frustrated. That’s a fact.

“I didn’t want to humiliate myself. Gano’n na rin ‘yon. It’s just not gonna happen. Don’t put my hopes up, please,” Jeno pouts.

Jaemin breathes and gives up. He just opens his arms to let Jeno in. They hug each other, Jaemin soothing Jeno.

“Ngayon lang kita nakitang ganito but then it failed. I’m sorry, Jen,” Jaemin lightly massages Jeno’s back. “Ngayon lang kita naha-hug nang ganito. Ngayon lang kita nakikitang umiyak. I’m sorry this happened to you.”

Jeno laughs. “Ngayon mo lang talaga ako makikitang ganito. Next time, I’m gonna be the same. I just had to experience this para majustify yung dislike ko sa romance. Romance isn’t just for me, I guess,” he mutters.

Pinalo ulit ni Jaemin ang kaibigan niya. “Don’t say that! One failed romance doesn’t mean the next ones will! At least you know what to do after that.”

Jeno just hums but Jaemin comes into a realization. _Ito ba ang ibig sabihin ni Mark? That because he thinks we don’t match, we won’t repeat the same mistake they did? That’s it! Right?!_

While still comforting the other, Jaemin is having a conversation with himself on his mind. _That must be it, right? Is he encouraging me then? But wasn’t he provoking me? Or did I misunderstand? But then I should continue, ‘yon ba? Is that it? Ano ba talaga?!_

While they both reheat the food Jeno bought for dinner dahil they’re too tired to cook, Jaemin continues to think about the implication of what Mark said.

Then, should he still try?

Jeno doesn’t believe in love at first sight.

Naniniwala siyang this concept only focuses on the appearance of a person as highlighted by the social constructs of beauty, be it in a man or in a woman.

But society has really ingrained its construct into people’s beliefs, ano? Consciously or unconsciously man, Jeno is really kind of disappointed of himself for being fooled by it.

Well, it’s life. By constantly living and encountering different scenarios, we learn.

He just has to keep on living.

Even if everything is a big misunderstanding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment your thoughts, suggestions, and sumthing,,, hehe  
> thank you for reading up until this point,, it means the world to me hehe

**Author's Note:**

> thoughts?


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